Heavenly Habits

Nobody's perfect. Not even in heaven.

If I were an angel, I think I’d still smoke.  I’d blow smoke rings up in the clouds as the other angels coughed and choked.  There is no reason for their vexation, they can’t get cancer and neither can I.  So, I think I’d still smoke if I were an angel.

 

Even in heaven, I’d probably still drink.  I might be as relaxed as can be, but I could always use another long island ice tea.  I’m sure all the liquor would be top shelf and the bartender always good for a joke.  So, I’d probably still drink in heaven.

 

Even after death, my dog’s my best friend.  They can bury me with him like the Egyptian pharaohs.  I don’t want to mingle with saints and heroes.  I’d rather play fetch and scratch grateful ears that will listen to me with angelic silence.  So, my dog will still be my best friend when I’m dead.

 

When I get my wings, I’ll keep them in the closet.  I don’t see a reason to walk around with them; I’ll keep a spare in my pocket.  I doubt I would need them to fly, and I have never liked useless accessories.  So, I’ll keep my wings in the closet.

 

10/26/2007

Reviews

[Sasha]

Where do you intend to get the cigarettes?