Silence

Silence

A Poem by Fallen Angel
"

A family waiting for news on their missing child.

"
A mother cries.
A father paces.
All of the lies.
No traces.

The police aren't saying anything.
So they're just waiting alone.
There's just this sting.
The game has been thrown.

So where is their child?
Not a single clue?
But another case filed?
Can't you come through?

They just want closure,
If their baby is dead.
Just managing composure.
No more tears to shed.

© 2009 Fallen Angel


Author's Note

Fallen Angel
It suuuuuuuuuuucks. >.>

My Review

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Reviews

STOP SAYING IT SUCKS!!!!! This so does not suck...you may not see it now but you have a real gift and such a voice that could help many people one day. You have a gift and a lot of talent which I believe will take you very far in the world. Keep writing and try to believe especially in yourself...

Caroice


Posted 14 Years Ago


Oh, I'm sure a few more editing can make this better, at least enough to make you proud of it. I think what it lacks is the proper building of emotions. And by proper, I mean gradual. I suggest you elaborate more on the frenzy of emotions when parents lose their child, and are unaware if the child is still alive. Still, judging it as it is, I think the way you wrote it is good. The rhyming of words is good. I see you've maintained it all throughout the piece. Also, I like how you developed it from start to end. It started out with them crying and ended with them asking for closure. Anyway, even if you say it sucks, I say it's something you should be proud of. It's still a work of art, something that expresses feelings under such circumstances, and more so than that, something that reflects a part of yourself as its writer. Well, Good Job.

Keep Writing. ^___^

Posted 14 Years Ago



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Added on April 20, 2009
Last Updated on April 20, 2009

Author

Fallen Angel
Fallen Angel

About
Samantha, Madison, Jessica, Chet and Sasha are my best friends in the world, I trust them like the world, and know that they would back me up, and defend me if I needed them. So I'm taking this time t.. more..

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A Poem by Fallen Angel



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