Peak-A-Blues

Peak-A-Blues

A Poem by Ayisha Upshaw
"

04/13/2017

"

Oh, there you go again.

There you go,

There you go

.. Again


Oh, There you go again.

Going and coming

Cuming and going -

I swear..

You make it look so easy

To leave me


Grieving.


Something told me,

Prob'ly the old me,

You were being phoney 

When you phoned me 

Out of the blue 

To say

...

I miss you.


And when I kissed you


-Back-


I lost all track of time 

As I tasted every lie

You've told me.


© 2017 Ayisha Upshaw



Author's Note

Ayisha Upshaw
This poem was written during a spell of the "peak-a-blues",
which I've dubbed the limbo you are left in when someone pops in and out of your life at their own convenience.

please let me know if you feel the piece is best as is or if the last verse should be as follows:

I lost all track of time
As I tasted every lie
You've told me;
I love you.

I love you too.

You're an infectious flu;
I'm Paralyzed in your
Peak-a-blues

My Review

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Featured Review

I really liked this. There are benefits to either ending: the "as is" ending is sweet in it's breviloquence and left me with the sort of springing feeling of the peak-a-blues. The other ending is a nice bit of poetry and adds even more to an already great poem. personally, I like the first one, but either works

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ayisha Upshaw

7 Months Ago

I appreciate your feedback, thank you :)



Reviews

In my opinion you should add the rest, the poem seems better with it in and it would be a shame to leave it out - it's a well written piece. I think it gives a kind of a conclusion and rounds the whole thing up quite nicely. It's my personal preference though, so I suppose it would also be ok to leave it as it is.

Posted 7 Months Ago


The truth, so so true but no more. lol great poem

Posted 7 Months Ago


I really liked this. There are benefits to either ending: the "as is" ending is sweet in it's breviloquence and left me with the sort of springing feeling of the peak-a-blues. The other ending is a nice bit of poetry and adds even more to an already great poem. personally, I like the first one, but either works

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ayisha Upshaw

7 Months Ago

I appreciate your feedback, thank you :)

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669 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on April 25, 2017
Last Updated on April 25, 2017
Tags: love, loss, lost, hope, pain, tears, cry, sad, sadness, abandonment, disloyalty, peak-a-blues, sick

Author

Ayisha Upshaw
Ayisha Upshaw

TORONTO, Canada



About
I like to write occasionally. more..

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Youme Youme

A Poem by Ayisha Upshaw