Socially Awkward Moron

Just a thing I came up with after thinking about my mental health.

Sam, undoubtedly stands for Socially Awkward Moron,

And I'm too weak and mind restricted to overcome it.

If I was a number I'd be....... odd,

Weird is difficult ok, let me explan.

 

My inner monolouge amounts to fast paced ramblings,

Forcing me to haul obese paranoia everywhere I go.

Mr Awkward with a dry mouth and fitting butterfiles,

Socially impaired, no eye contact, retarded f*****g mind.

I walk fast to avoid situations that require normaility,

And over analyse everything for potential threats.

I overtake F1 cars to flee all scorn has for me,

This landfill site of issues has got me a mess.

I try not to self diagnose but it's got me stressed,

My train of thought speeds until I go off the rails.

Harming people around me who don't understand,

Shouting at me because I was born into a lions den.

Possible asperges, maybe an "epic fail at living disorder"

Either way I'm fucked, with dark visions that haunt me.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Lina Grey]

this is a bit more on the serious side, i'd say. the title's pretty comical, but that's about it :P I can understand where you're coming from though. I always thought I had some "epic fail at living disorder" and only recently was I diagnosed with bipolar disorder, social anxiety disorder, and attention deficiency disorder. Apparently there's like some 80% of the population that actually has disorders of some sort, and i'm pretty sure most of those never get diagnosed properly :/ it's complicated. i think you did an excellent job of expressing the emotion here, and of keeping it relatively light. i think id also like to hear the spoken word version if you post it.

[Sam Gregory]

Thanks for the review :) I never got round to doin the spoken word version tbh haha. I've got depression for teh 2nd time and social anxiety disorder, but it could even be avoidant personality disorder apparently, ah life.. lol :)

[Lina Grey]

oh alrighty then, i guess i don't want to hear it lol. i was diagnosed with depression first, but then it changed to bpd when my mood started changing. social anxiety and avoidant personality seem very similar to me, so i don't really know the difference.... c'est la vie, i guess :)

[Sam Gregory]

lolol, avoidant personality disorder involves escapist thoughts, erm.. yh.. its complicated lol :)

[Lina Grey]

haha so does social anxiety disorder... oh well, it's complicated and i don't try to understand it all yet... that's what i've got ap psych for next year... :)

[Sam Gregory]

I mean in a dellusional way lol, like u cant think anythin without pretendin to be someone else etc. like u'll be in the car and pretend ur someone else u've imagined, drivin to work. It is a difficult one tho, coz thats not always a symptom lol

[Lina Grey]

ohh... i get that way sometimes, but aparently it's a symptom of bpd... i think there are too many disorders to keep track of honestly lol

[Sam Gregory]

haha yh, it depends on what other symptoms u experience aswell. I used to write fake documents with every detail about a fake person I pretended to be, an I never used to think as myself when i could help it(this was years ago, when i was 15). It became hard to physically not think like that too, had to really concentrate. Am not so much like that now tho, thank goodness lol

[Lina Grey]

i do that... i'm also 15 now, so that's a coincidence. i just have a stock of random personalities written up, and i try to put them into stories instead, but it's confusing :P lol i'll find myself soon enough

[Sam Gregory]

Fair enough I guess haha. I'm 19 now, I feel old lol

[Lina Grey]

lol you're not that old. youve just got 4 years on me :)

[Sam Gregory]

I feel old lol, my bones ache already lol, not even joking

[Hugo]

This is sort of serious, yet the title seems pretty comical. I know what you mean, I feel mentally unstable all the time. I have way to many traits of a whole bunch of personality disorders... Especially schizotypal and avoidant... Basically I'm a very antisocial and eccentric shy person that believes in mental telepathy. I can relate very well to your poem... well done.

[Sam Gregory]

Thanks, I got reffered to a mental health service once again today for anxiety, depression, possible asperges and a possible personality disorder :/

[Hugo]

Oh, that's too bad. A lot more people have personality disorders than we're led to believe. 85%, I believe? One time I had an anxiety attack so bad I couldn't breathe or move... As soon as I can I'm gonna go see a psychologist. But for now I can just use poetry.

[Sam Gregory]

85%? That seems a little high doesnt it? That would make it normal and therefore not a disorder lol as a disorder is characterised by abnormalities in human behaviour lol

[Sam Gregory]

Avoidant personality disorder is the one I think am gonna end up diagnosed with. I have 5 out of the 6 diagnosis characteristsics

[Hugo]

Haha, yeah, it's hard to believe. I think only 5% are actually serious cases. I have a lot of the avoidant characteristics too.

[Sam Gregory]

We seem very alike lol

[Hugo]

Haha, yeah. :D Pretty similar, it seems. :)

[Sam Gregory]

Indeed

[Hugo]

:D :D :D

[Hugo]

Aha! The internet lied to me last time! Only 20% of people have a personality disorder! I knew it...

[Sam Gregory]

hahahahahaha lol

[Hugo]

Maybe I mixed up those two figures... :) Or maybe the internet just doesn't know what it's talking about... Ah, well... At least now I know... :D

[Sam Gregory]

Hahaha yeah, u gotta hate the internet sometimes

[Hugo]

lol... :D Can't stand it, but you can't live without it... :)

[Young Dreamer]

It def seems more serious then comical. id kind of want to hear the tempo and way you say this. i feel like it could be a very deep and dark rap song. all you need is a few more verses and a melody or whatever you call the main phrase that singers repeat all the time in their songs. main chorus maybe?

[Sam Gregory]

It'd be for a spoken word poem if I recorded it. my rap style involves wordplay, punchlines and multisyllabic dynamic rhyme schemes mixed with storytelling :) Thanks for the review, I know it looks serious but everytime I read it outloud it sounds more comical and exaggerated lol

[Melody]

Hmm..I can't really see it as comedic at all....It was a good write though. It'd be interesting to hear it recorded....(inside joke: without the music, of course.) Lol. Good job Sam. :)

[Sam Gregory]

lol thanks, when I read it out loud it sounds more light hearted :)

[Melody]

It might just be because you're the one who wrote it. People see things different ways. I think it's just because your stuff is usually pretty serious, so I guess I'm just used to serious. :) Lol. Oh well. All that matters was it was a good write.

[Sam Gregory]

Yeah haha