Filled Empty

a simple account of a room

I awaken, my head lulled to one side resting against a freezing cold wall. My whole body is curled up in a corner. All I see black there is no light where I am. Not moving a muscle for the longest I sit in the shadows listing for any signs of another presence but there is none. Slowly I let my legs unfold and extend them fully. they touch only air so far. My hands travel the cement walls all around me feeling cracks accompanied with some holes. Stale air fills my nose and lungs as I take deep breaths, eventually gaining the courage to asses my situation and surroundings. I press my right hand to the wall and wave the left in front of me so not to hit an unseen object as I make my way all around the room. My voice echoes all around me as I sing to stall my growing fear. the third time around I confirm four corners to this room. My fingers, as they where helping navigate me, only felt the lifeless cement which made me wonder where the door I had to come in through was. Did I miss it? Was I lowered in through the celling maybe. The horrid taste of vile rises in my throat as I start jumping trying to touch the roof but I cannot. My hands only touch hopelessness from the situation I find myself in. Suddenly I hits me, in my blinded state while looking for clues and answers I did not trip. I go wild, running and screaming chaotically. Repeatedly slamming into a wall and bouncing off of it to hit another. Again I did not trip, hit, or bump into something other than the walls. To me this room is a black hole because there is darkness everywhere in here with my existence. Its one possession in this room.

Reviews

[Tony Spencer]

This is a great story, I love the impression of helplessness, of being trapped and not understanding how such a situation could occur but still have to deal with it. I also like the conclusion that the room possesses the character. However, while freewriting can produce a great first draft, filled with fresh ideas, an essential part of writing is communication, sharing the writing with others. Therefore it is essential that you edit your work, correct the spelling and grammar in order to reach and entertain readers. E.g. listing/listening, they/They, asses/assess, the/The, where/were, celling/ceiling, maybe/maybe?, vile/bile, Suddenly I hits/Suddenly it hits, state while/state, while, something/anything.