Fallen

Fallen

A Poem by Illegitimate Artist
"

I've fallen from grace...

"

I take no solace from you,

Bender of souls.

No cup of warmed up compliments,

That quench my need.

I stand, forgotten, in your shadow,

Where once I was so adored.

Give me an instrument as sharp as your tongue,

So that I might carve the name of my love upon this heart.

When I’m bleeding,

Will I capture your wild attention once again?


© 2008 Illegitimate Artist



Author's Note

Illegitimate Artist
I fought with the arrangement of the last three lines for days... Lemme know what you think. Oh yeah, I'm no good at titles, if you've got ideas lay em' on me!

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Featured Review

This sounds like it's straight from your heart and soul. Excellent imagery, "bender of souls". The third line sounds like you are saying that you were willing to have second rate (warmed over) compliments satisfy you. The seventh line uses an excellent analogy for "the instrument being as sharp as your tongue" That's my favorite line. The last two lines, it sounds like this person whose attention you're trying to get is so wild, it will take something wild on your part to get attention again, if then. An excellent poem! Barbara

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Breathtaking!
(+favs) and I think Fallen is the right name too

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

There is something so amazingly wonderful about this poem! But I can't really get this feeling to form any proper sentences. As for names, you could try looking at the poem itself and looking for related subjects, although I think the name 'Fallen' suits it so much. Really, a job well done!

-Luke

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oh. My. God.
I'm agnostic, but for this I have a god, simply so I can say it again:
Oh.
My.
GOD.


Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Excellent work. I shall be adding this to favorites.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this is really good I must say and fallen for tha name is just fine

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I absolutely, forever and eternally, love this piece so much. Like all of your work, its simple, but so effective and heartfelt. So much emotion in such a small space just radiates from your words. I like the title, Fallen, it just fits the whole overall imagery of the piece without repeating yourself or detracting from it. It gives you an idea of what you're going to be reading without spoiling the suprise as it is.

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

There is never anything to change when it comes from the heart.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This sounds like it's straight from your heart and soul. Excellent imagery, "bender of souls". The third line sounds like you are saying that you were willing to have second rate (warmed over) compliments satisfy you. The seventh line uses an excellent analogy for "the instrument being as sharp as your tongue" That's my favorite line. The last two lines, it sounds like this person whose attention you're trying to get is so wild, it will take something wild on your part to get attention again, if then. An excellent poem! Barbara

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

"" I stand, forgotten, in your shadow,

Where once I was so adored.""

Thos two lines probably explain exactly what people feel daily, and you said it perfectly. I love this writing.

Posted 9 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.


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248 Views
9 Reviews
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Shelved in 4 Libraries
Added on April 19, 2008
Last Updated on April 19, 2008

Author

Illegitimate Artist
Illegitimate Artist

West Middlesex, PA



About
Legal Explosives by ~MysticDragon85 on deviantART In December of 05 I graduated from Bradford School with my degree in Graphic Design Management Associate in Specialized Business, worked for over a y.. more..

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