IMMORTAL TEAR

IMMORTAL TEAR

A Story by Imorbid
"

I stood there overlooking a lifeless world, for I am death. The retrovirus I had developed made me immortal. Yet I soon discovered the virus had escaped, ironically killing humanity.

"

I stood there overlooking a lifeless world, for I am death. The retrovirus I had developed made me immortal, yet I soon discovered the virus had escaped, killing humanity.


I had considered my own extinction, but I was all that remained. So for a thousand years, I searched for my relevance in this universe. I set my mind on the task to learn all that I could. I built cities from what once was. In my image, I constructed companions to silence the loneliness. And in time my companions became my children, and they called me Father.


Our journey led to many worlds, none with intelligent life. Sadness consumed me, as more time passed.


My children’s empire spread as did their knowledge. In time, they would colonize the entire Milky Way.


“Father, may I have a word?” asked my first son.


“Of course, what is it?”


“It is your birthday, Father. We have a gift for you, but all we ask is that you return to Earth for a short while.”


“Earth?”


It had been over two thousand years since I had seen the place of my birth. Only a four weeks journey from the other side of the galaxy, how could I refuse?


***


As we dropped out of warp, the Earth soon came into view. And an overwhelming sadness once again reminded me of what I had done. Our ship started its slow descent.


My son went on to explain that his brothers and sisters here on Earth had been working for millennia on a secret project. “What secret project?” I asked. He explained how happy they were that I had given them life, yet they were aware of my deep sorrow. He then revealed that they had lifted the veil of time.


***


The city I once built stood before us, now a giant gleaming metropolis. Our ship docked alongside other interstellar vessels.


I was then led down a great hall and greeted by the children I had left behind. Smiling faces chanted in unison “Father, Father, Father.” My children, parting like the Red Sea, unveiled a shining silver door at the end of the hall.


“Father, behind this door, is the end to your sorrow. This is our gift to you.”


I stepped through the door, blurred shapes came into focus, revealing a crowd of thousands.


Now I understood what my children had done. They had found a way to bring back the ones I loved and lost. I thought I had forgotten how to cry, as I felt a single tear run down my face.



© 2017 Imorbid



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Featured Review

Your first story? Unique story line and laid out very well.
I only saw the following:

"As we dropped out of warp. The Earth soon came..." A comma between warp and the earth?
"brothers and sisters here on Earth. Had been working..." Eliminate the period after "Earth and small cap "had".
These are such small issues that I hesitated to point them out, but you're posting to get better, eh?

I will be reading more of your work - I love Flash Fiction. To create a story in few words is a skill few master. I tried my hand at it, only managed a few (I'm a little long-winded), but I admire those that can accomplish this feat.

Good job.




Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Imorbid

2 Months Ago

Thank you so much! I will continue to do my best. So much to learn and so little time.



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SSR
This is great, totally good,depicting the regrets and Loneliness of immortal.. Well when one stands in peak over watching, with lonely eyes, he sure will wants rest..

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Your first story? Unique story line and laid out very well.
I only saw the following:

"As we dropped out of warp. The Earth soon came..." A comma between warp and the earth?
"brothers and sisters here on Earth. Had been working..." Eliminate the period after "Earth and small cap "had".
These are such small issues that I hesitated to point them out, but you're posting to get better, eh?

I will be reading more of your work - I love Flash Fiction. To create a story in few words is a skill few master. I tried my hand at it, only managed a few (I'm a little long-winded), but I admire those that can accomplish this feat.

Good job.




Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Imorbid

2 Months Ago

Thank you so much! I will continue to do my best. So much to learn and so little time.
I love the concept of the story, an immortal who created another race, though I do feel maybe you might want to double check the grammer and punchuation, I make this mistake too, but keep writing my friend, Thanks for the request :)

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Imorbid

2 Months Ago

Thank you for taking the time to review this. This was my very first story, written three months ago.. read more

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3 Reviews
Added on July 23, 2017
Last Updated on August 8, 2017

Author

Imorbid
Imorbid

Kearny , NJ



About
I’m a 51-year-old self-taught writer. I admire the works of Ernest Hemingway and Margaret Atwood and Isaac Asimov and Bob Thurber and Lydia Davis. more..

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