Fleeting Glances and Scattered Thoughts

Focus. Focus. No, don’t look up. Focus.

Maya sighed deeply as she threw down her pencil. This wasn’t working and she knew it. And the people sitting next to her who’d been forced to listen to her sighs for the past hour or so probably knew it, too. Although it had been close to two hours since she’d arrived at the study hall, she didn’t think she’d written more than four lines of text. If it continued like this, she would be better off sitting in her dorm room, watching tv shows. She’d probably be more productive that way. She would ask herself why she couldn’t focus, but she already knew the answer.

It was all his fault.

Three days ago, she’d been perfectly all right. She’d just been minding her own business. But then she’d noticed him. Or rather, she’d noticed him looking at her. It wasn’t that she was conceited�"at least not more so than any other person--but he’d definitely been looking at her whenever he’d walked by. As far as she could tell it wasn’t the “god, what are you wearing?!” or “damn, you look terrible” kind of stares either, but the really flattering kind. She couldn’t remember ever having seen him there before, but then she hadn’t visited the study hall in over two months. When she left to go home that evening, though, he was sitting behind the information desk in front, so he obviously worked there. On her walk home, she found herself thinking about him more than once. He was cute.

The fleeting glances alone wouldn’t have been enough to fluster her, though. The real trouble started when she arrived there the next morning. He was sitting behind the front desk again, explaining something to a girl. However, he was facing her as she walking in, and the second he recognized her, he stuttered and fell silent for a second. He looked embarrassed as he tried to gather to gather his thoughts again. Maya smiled at him and hurried past. After that, though, it was her turn to stare every time she noticed him walk by, and to her dismay, her heart beat a little faster every time he did.

Still, she might have thought she’d imagined the whole situation, or at the very least read more into it, which is what she told her friends as she met them that evening. They didn’t seem so sure though, and after what happened the previous day, she couldn’t keep telling herself that it all really simply was her imagination. When she’d arrived at the study hall yesterday, she’d found that the seats in her favorite part of the building had all been taken, so she had no choice but to find another seat in the room across the hallway. A little while later, she’d gotten up from her seat to go to the fetch a drink, since the vending machines where located in the room where she usually sat. As she opened the door leading to the hallway, he suddenly appeared from a doorway to her left. They both seemed to freeze or one second before smiling slightly at each other and continuing on their way. He disappeared into a corridor on her left. As he did though, she couldn’t help but to look back at him. That was when their eyes met again. Clearly, they’d both had the same idea. When she sat down at her table again five minutes later, drink in hand, her heart was still beating like she’d just run five miles.

Ever since that last moment, they’d exchanged some more glances, passed each other once more in the hallway, and for Maya, at least, the whole situation was becoming greatly frustrating. In a good way. She was enjoying the rush of semi-eye flirting, if that was what she could call it. But more than anything at the moment, she wanted to have the chance to talk to him and find out… find out what exactly? Maya wasn’t sure, but she knew that she couldn’t go on like this. In her mind, she’d already gone through several scenarios ranging from her going up to speak to him, to him coming over to her, to the two of them bumping into each other in the corridor--literally this time. Right now, she figured her best option was to go over to him as he was buying something at the vending machine, which would at least make sure they stood still within five feet of each other and maybe give them the chance to actually talk to one another.

Now all she had to do was muster up the courage.

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As the next day came around, Maya had managed to talk herself into going up to him. She still figured that going up to him as he came to buy a drink was the best way to not make a fool out of herself. Just in the hopefully off chance that she was mistaken about the nature of his looks. Even so, her version of going up to talk to him was actually more of a go up to him and hope he talks to you kind of thing. A tad more cowardly than she would prefer, but at the moment it really was the best she could do. She already felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest at any moment, and she wasn’t even inside yet.

Oh well, if she did end up making a huge fool out of herself, she would simply never ever go back to the study hall. At least not until her pride had recovered slightly.

As she neared the entrance, she took a couple of deep breaths in an attempt to steady herself. Actually, she was starting to wonder why on earth she was getting so worked up about this whole thing. She hadn’t even talked to the guy yet, for heaven’s sake. For all she knew, they didn’t suit at all and she was getting all flustered for no good reason. Still slightly miffed with herself, she half-yanked open the door to the building and immediately stopped in her tracks. He was standing right in front of her, apparently just about to leave.

“Oh.”

She might have been able to ascribe that syllable to the surprise of abruptly coming face to face with another person, but the deep red blush that followed wasn’t so easy to explain away. From the smile on his face, he’d definitely noticed her facing going red. A small consolation was that he looked at least as surprised as she.

They stood there, not really saying anything, just kind of looking at each other. After a few seconds, she shook herself out of her stupor.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“No problem, neither was I,” he said smiling, and she couldn’t help but return it with an answering smile of her own.

“I’ll just get out of your way then,” she mumbled as she moved aside.

He moved past her as she walked inside, but then they both stopped again, turned towards each other. Their positions were reversed now, with her just inside the door and him outside. Neither of them really looked about to move.

Suddenly she heard a voice from behind her. “Excuse me.” At about the same time as she realized that she’d been blocking the way for someone trying to leave the building, she felt a hand cup her elbow and gently draw her aside. Her eyes flew back to him, now standing besides her. If she’d thought that her heart was beating fast before, it was nothing compared to the frantic pounding now. And all this for a guy she exchanged about twenty words with.

“Thanks,” she managed to say. Twenty-one words. As she looked into his eyes, her heart showed no signs of slowing down. This was never going to end well, was it?