Behind The Castle Walls

My attempt at a story...

 

"Emerald, Wake UP!" a young maid whispered into the sleeping princess’ ear.

 

"I’m up! I’m up!" Emerald said quite annoyed. "Why is it that everyone thinks I can't get up on my own?" she mumbled under her breath.

 

"We need to get you out of here! The castle is under attack." the maid quietly said as she rushes Emerald out of her room. Fear consumed the young girl as the smell of blood assaulted her nose. Soldiers laid lifeless in the hallways covered in their own blood. Emerald and the woman scurried through the hallways hiding in the shadows while their feet slowly began to coat with blood from pools on the stone floor.

 

A man stood watching the two women flee. Laughing, knowing they would never escape this castle. Not only did they leave footprints in blood where every they stepped but all soldiers had orders to bring the princess to their King. The fact that she thought she could escape amused him as he began to stalk his prey. Continuing forward the two women hid in the shadows of a corner once they saw strange men roaming around with their blood covered swords in hand. Keeping her in his sight he pursued the helpless woman without her knowledge. Reaching out he grasped the princess in his arm as the maid screamed and continuously tried to pull her free. Laughing at the women’s pitiful attempts to save themselves he kicked the maid to the floor and screamed "You are not the one I want, leave my sight or death will come." The young maid looked to the princess for a queue, and quickly crawled away after a small defeated nod was given. Dragging the screaming princess back to her room the intruder harshly tied her wrists with a rough rope and blindfolded her, leaving her helpless and bound on her crimson bed with him just inches away.

 

"I got her" He shouted as he stroked her silky cheek, she attempted to squirm away but the binds held her tight. Men soon rushed in to laugh at the sight of the bound and blindfolded princess squirming around helplessly on her bed. Creamy skin covered in a white silk night gown contrasted with the crimson bedspread emphasizing every curve in her body leaving almost nothing to the imagination.

 

"Damn it Tom, you could’ve let them have a chance!" Jase smiled, his black hair dripping with sweat on to his silver armor.

 

"Well they didn’t even figure out which room was hers and I was getting impatient." Tom replied grinning. Caressing his new pet's back.

 

"Does this mean we’re not getting any fun" one soldier asked his brown eyes filling with sadness at the thought of not getting laid tonight crossed his mind.

 

"These people are now slaves, if they do not resist do not injure them anymore than they already are. If they resist, teach the women how real men feel."

 

"Yes sir." The men shouted in unison and headed out to find anyone still breathing in the kingdom hoping for a fight.

 

Once the soldiers left, the young man's hands began to caress the terrified woman's thigh and a smile assaulted his face as she struggled to get away from his exploring touch. His rough labored hands roamed higher and higher until he finally reached an area only she herself had explored. His fingers slowly began to go to work and to her dismay his touch soon excited her. Her hope that he hadn't noticed was squashed when he pulled himself from her and commanded her to suck his fingers clean. She quickly refused and received a firm smack on her a*s. The man then grabbed her ruby hair and pulled, lifting her torso off the bed until she opened her mouth to comply with his demands. Her red lips wrapped around his fingers surrounding them with warmth, it seemed quite obvious that she was inexperienced.  Her tongue knew nothing of what it was supposed to do.  Once he has his share of her humiliation he pulled his fingers out and wiped the remaining saliva on her cheek leaving it to dry. Kneeling down he removed the blindfold and looked into the eyes of his captive. Lust filled him as he asked the bound woman for her name in an authoritative voice that made the girl tremble in fear. Her response was to turn her head and avoid his piercing gaze. The only words that escaped her lips are whimpers for freedom.

 

"Your name, wench!" He shouted as his hand griped her hair tightly

 

"Emerald" She whimpered as the pain became too unbearable.

 

"Well Emerald, I am Thomas. I do not wish to hurt you but if you do not cooperate I will see to it that you will share a fate worse than death. Do you understand?"

 

"Yes..." Emerald sobbed defeated.

 

"I will give you three options, you will choose one! Understand?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Option one; you will be my personal slave. You will do as I say when I say it. You will call me master; if you do not please me you will be punished as harshly as I would punish any disobedient slave."

 

"How dare you! I am--"

 

Enraged by her interruption he raised his voice to cause the young maiden to tremble in her binds. "I know who you are… a young girl who is bound on a bed, a little girl who should know not to interrupt the man that controls her life!" He moved closer and placed his rough hand on her back causing her to squeal in dismay. "Your second option is to be my wife; you will do as I say when I say it. But I will treat you as if you did deserve respect. Someday I may love you and you will act as if you love me." Her eyes filled with hatred as he spoke. "Your third option is of course death."

 

"Then I choose death!" Emerald spit at the monstrous man crouched down.

 

Standing up Thomas turned his broad shoulders to her and stated "By choosing death you are not only choosing your death but your country's…" He quickly turned around to see the terrified woman's reaction. "...I will not keep any man, woman nor child breathing in this country if the princess is not alive. If you wish to change your mind I might be merciful and allow it. Keep in mind that if you choose to become a slave your people will share your same fate." She remained silent with tears streaming down her face and glided gracefully down towards the bed she laid upon. "Answer me!" He commanded violently in her ear as he menacingly caressed her face.

 

"Wife." she managed to say through her sobs. Smiling he calmly kissed her tear streaked cheek.

 

"Good girl, now I will untie you if you promise not to make me regret it. A simple nod will suffice if you agree." Thomas grinned as Emerald nodded. Pulling out his sword with his left hand he began to caress her body with his right, looking for any attempt at escape. She stayed still. He cuts her binds carefully so he didn't injure her delicate skin. Lifting her onto his lap he began to message her shoulders. Her eyes stay fixated on his sapphire eyes as he began to look over her body, examining her every limb as if she were a horse for sale. Their eyes meet and she quickly looked away as if it were a sin to look directly into the beast's gaze. Her green eyes gazed at the bed unwilling to look up to appease her curiosity. "I can see why your name is Emerald…" he stated as he lifts her chin until their eyes met again.”…Your eyes sparkle like jewels; it only fits that your name be Emerald. They are as green as a forest in a rainy season, as brilliant as emeralds… A rare find, you are lucky I am the one that found you and not one of my soldiers!" Her eyes glared into his as he starts to play with her dark ruby hair. "I don't know if they could have controlled themselves if they found you first." His hand caressed her cheek with astonishing delicacy for his rough fingers. She shuddered.

 

"Why are you doing this?" She questioned quietly as their eyes meet and his dominance is made clear.

 

"Your country is small and provides good shelter to my army during a time of war. Your country refused to provide shelter my soldiers so we came and we took it by force."

 

"We could not have provided shelter; my brother explained that to your country. Our water supply is scarce, our cattle diseased. We cannot feed our own people how could you think we could feed you and your men?"

 

"You will find a way or your people will starve. My men come first and we will feast tonight. If your country is to eat you will find a way to feed us both." Thomas stated in a tone that made it impossible to combat.

 

"Then may I go and find a way to feed both your men and mine?" She questions. He nodded his head and she quickly stood up and left his sights. Two men started to follow her. "I do not need a babysitter! Where are my people?"

 

"If you will follow me I will take you there." One of the two brutish men said as he treated her with mock respect. She followed close behind, her eyes gazing high so she could not see the lifeless bodies that lined the floor, blood streaks the walls and made the air smell metallic. "They're in there." She slowly entered the room full of her people. She couldn't look her soldiers in the eyes. Their gazes pierced into her as she walked in.

 

"I do not need a babysitter! Please leave me be, and let me think of a solution!" She stated in an infuriated tone.

 

"Our orders are to stay and watch the savages." one of them replied.

 

"Well then watch from outside! As your future queen, I demand it!" She snapped back. The terrified citizens took a harsh breath and glared at the young princess. She was still dressed in her white silk pajamas that barely covered anything. The soldiers left after a lingering look and then took a stance outside of the room. "My people, I had no choice in this matter. I could either choose life or death for my people. I chose life. "Her voice grew softer as she came closer to her soldiers. By the time she reached them the men standing guard couldn't hear her. "There is a small tunnel underneath the floor in this room, have they discovered it?"

 

"No your highness" one man replied, his leg was cut and blood trickled out as a woman bandaged him, trying to stop the bleeding. Dominick, a man sworn to protect her sat there next to them, his green eyes filling with concern. His blonde hair stained red from the blood that began to cake on his rough looking face.

 

"Good, thank you Dominick, you are to take them to safety. Take them through the tunnel to the mountains and into the caves. Once you are there, send someone for help. Do not get caught! If anyone resists they will rape the women. He's given orders to his men; if you fight the women will take the punishment." she states, her eyes peering into his. Dominick's face turned red with anger and his jaw clenched only to emphasize his strong face.

 

"I will not leave! I have vowed to your brother to protect you." Dominick replied grasping her in his strong arms.

 

"You are to do as I say! Is that understood? If you have a problem with this then I will find someone that will listen to my orders!"

 

"My orders come from your brother not you! I will only do as you say if you go with me! If your brother were here he would agree." he said, eyes filling with frustration as he knew he would not win the argument.

 

"I cannot, they will notice it sooner if I am gone. Please, I trust you… you nee--" her sentence was cut off as a strong voice interrupted the conversation.

 

"Just letting you know there is no escape, Emerald, my soon to be queen. Do you take me as a fool? I've known all the passages and tunnels into this castle months before I came." Thomas states as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her out of Dominick's arms.

 

"I was only trying to help lessen the mouths we will have to feed." She smiled innocently and looked into his cold sapphire eyes.

 

"Yes, but letting them go will make me seem merciful. That is something you will find that I am not!"

 

"If only my brother were here" Emerald murmured under her breath as she looked away.

 

"What was that? Your brother? You mean that pansy that left you in charge. God, if only he were here to see how well you took care of his castle, his land, his people. Where did he go this time? Is there another treaty he needs to sign?"

 

"I would rather peace than war, you despicable piece of scum!" Emerald yelled as she struggled free of his grip.

 

"Do not ever disrespect me, or else!" His eyes grew dark with anger.

 

"Or else what? You're already going to take everything away from me, my freedom, my people, my land, my castle. What else could you do?" Emerald combatted with a silver tongue. Thomas' hand reached out and grasped a hand full of Emerald's ruby hair. Pain started to fill her eyes as he forced her to her knees.

 

"Beg for forgiveness Wench!" he bellowed. Their eyes met. Tension filled the air as everyone awaited the princess' reaction.

 

"Or what, you'll pull my hair… is that all you ever do? Pull my hair, wow that shows power." Emerald elegantly said as she glared into the beast's eyes.

 

"Or I will cut out your tongue."

 

"But then how would I suck you off, sir?" Laughter filled the hall and a smile began to creep along her face after seeing the confusion in her captor's eyes

 

"I will find another to do that task" He simply stated.

 

"Oh, but I wouldn't wish that kind of torture on anyone else." Thomas’ eyes grew darker with anger turning his eyes from the brilliant royal blue sapphires to a dark midnight blue as he roughly pulled her to her feet. The back of his hand glided roughly across her face leaving a red mark to consume half of her delicate face. She collapsed to the floor and started to cry. "I'm sorry." she murmured through her sobs.

 

"Excuse me? I didn't hear you."

 

"I'm sorry." she stated louder looking into his eyes

 

"Still didn't hear you"

 

"Please I beg of you, sir. I beg for your forgiveness." She begged with her eyes glued to the floor unable to look up.

 

"That's a good fiancé. I especially liked the sir in that statement." Thomas ridiculed.

 

"Please sir, won't you let some of these people go. Look at it through a ruler's eye. If they leave you will have fewer mouths to feed, less waste to rid our country of. Without these citizens you will have no one there to fight."

 

"Except you have shown that you will not be trained, your struggles, your words have all proven that I need these servants here to keep you sedated. One threat to a citizen's life means you behaving for me, so explain to me why I would want to get rid of that?"

 

"I was ignorant, I knew not of your power. If you let these citizens go, I will not fight. I promise I will not speak unless spoken to; I will do anything you would ever want. Please sir, I'll do anything." Her eyes began to show him just how submissive she could be. A powerful lust immediately consumed him as he stared into her submissive eyes. His eyes started to linger over her collapsed body admiring every curve and every imperfection that blended together to create the perfection that was this young woman.

 

"You're right you will do anything but not because I have done you a favor but because I am your master and you will do as I say. Your request has been denied and you will not ask that of me again. However, I can be persuaded to find a solution to your food situation."

 

"And how may I persuade you, sir?" Her eyes met his again and brought forth thoughts of all the things he would do to her tonight. Her eyes looked away as Thomas held out his rough hand. As he helped the kneeling princess to her feet he pulled her forcefully into his muscular arms. He couldn't help but grip the curve of her a*s. A gasp escaped her lips and a tear started to trickle down her cheek.

 

"You can learn to use that tongue for something other than being a f*****g wench." he scolded as he released her a*s.

 

"Anything you want, sir" Bitterness filled her words as she glared down in submission.

 

"Good girl." Thomas laughed in a patronizing tone while he embraced her tightly. Turning to his soldiers he ordered "Set up a feast for we have won the battle. We shall eat tonight and after we have fed, I shall teach the princess what a woman's duty truly is." The men laughed as their King escorted the princess out of the room and down the hall.

Reviews

[Que Guapo]

The intimate scenes surprised me, I wasn't expecting the detail or the scenes themselves.
I saw numerous grammical errors and the like, but I'm sure you havn't done much editing.
The story didn't seem to flow smoothy, neither did the dialouge for the most part, but thats just another aspect of editing.
My main issue with this story is the fact dialouge in general didn't seem true to the time. From what I gathered due to the use of swords, the living in castles, the terms, the time would be considered medieval. I saw very little dialouge which was realistic to the time you've set your story in.
Albeit, I enjoyed reading, I'm sure you can overall improve this writing.

[The Elder]

I agree that you are off to a good start, also that there are a number of grammatical errors you need to correct.
The premise is good, I like the basic characters but they need fleshing out. I agree with Patrick that the flow and dialogue could be smoother. Use of the same tense throughout would help.
"He cuts her binds carefully so he didn't injure her delicate skin. Lifting her onto his lap he began to message her shoulders. Her eyes stay fixated on his sapphire eyes as he began to look over her body,"
In these two lines you change tenses several times.
You are a very good writer and I enjoy reading your work. Take the time to edit and polish and you'll be even better.

[Poetic Wolf]

I like it! I will add my voice to that of kayleigh's below, less is more when it comes to certain scenes.

I loved the character development and how you have given them each a different manor of speaking. I could hear each voice in my head. This is good.

One thing...
""Your country is small and {provides} good shelter to my army during a time of war. Your country refused to provide shelter my soldiers so we came and we took it by force.""

The first sentence in the paragraph implies that the country already does give the invading lord shelter. the second sentence tells us it did not and explains why he invaded it. The two sentences don't work together .... How about this.. "Even though your country is small, it's good for shelter and supplies. When we asked for such, your kingdom refused. This was a slight to us! As it's location is nessesary for my continuing conquests, I felt that the failure to show us aid was enough to invade and take it by force."

Just my opinions! :)

Keep up the good work!

Eternally Your's
Aaron Maycroft

[Morgie W.]

As said before, this piece is off to a good start. Honestly, I skipped over almost half of the top half, because to me it was utterly boring. But, that's just me. During the end, though, it really caught my attention. I was semi-dissappointed that it ended then; I would defitantitly like to read more.

[Kizitaly]

I think you are off to a good start. However, maybe calm down the sexual scenes just a smidge. I know that you are trying to make your characters come alive with your descriptions, but remember that sometimes less is more. Let the readers imaginations work. Otherwise..I think you have talent!