And This Love...

And This Love...

A Poem by Inkh(e)art

And this love was not the quick kind

Nor the drink of cheaper wine

Of lovers stricken blind

 

It was the champagne in the sips

Snuck by the cracks of time

Until you burned inside my swallow

Kisses never mine

 

And it was this tender crushing of my back

Like shoulders bent to snap

Like crunching in my spine

 

That chiseled all these hollowed cracks

Within my bridled sighs

 

And when these lacy fingers seeped

Like icy creatures long to creep

Around my waist; forget to breathe

 

Double-fisted hands you shoved

Into my stomach; reach

And pull these wiry tendons

I forbid all men to keep

 

And it was this love so deep and aching

Like teeth jarred and breaking

Like freezing in my sleep

 

That caused this marrow scraping

To leave me empty boned and weak


© 2017 Inkh(e)art



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Hi there. I have enjoyed reading this - now 3 times. However, I'm blowed if I understand it! But there are some wonderful phrases throughout. It feels like a sinister perhaps even abusive "love", but it could be taken several ways.

BTW I also paused on the 'long to creep' but it's actually right grammatically because it's the icy tendons which long to creep.

You have some wonderful and quite subtle rhyming in here.

Regards
Nigel

Posted 1 Month Ago


mattavelli

1 Month Ago

The issue is the verb form. To suggest desir'ing and want'ing, you'd want a progressive "ing" verb -.. read more
Inkh(e)art

1 Month Ago

Would replacing it with an adverb make more sense?
Eg. Like icy creatures slowly creep (not s.. read more
mattavelli

1 Month Ago

Sure, I think it fits nicely in the phrasing.
.................wow!............

this is fantastic. Love the flow, love the musicality, love the imagery and narrative. I can't admit to having understood "long to creep", though....did you intend to say "longING to creep"? that actually mars the musicality a bit, but saying "long to creep" doesn't quite make as much sense as it may appear. Absolutely well done, though!! ¡Maravilloso!

Posted 2 Months Ago


Inkh(e)art

1 Month Ago

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I always appreciate your input. I am, however, very fond.. read more
emipoemi

1 Month Ago

It's a grammatical matter, is all
emipoemi

1 Month Ago

you may be right.....just saying at first read, it seems like it should read "longing"

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Added on August 11, 2017
Last Updated on August 11, 2017
Tags: love, sad, poetry

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Inkh(e)art
Inkh(e)art

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