Going Back

Going Back

A Poem by Mark
"

a dream

"
I would wind through the forests knowing you 
were at the end of my foraging.
We would hold hands and laugh at the sky..
trying to scare? no, trying to whelp us
with dark gray and torrential waters

Far from the dryness of concrete and oil stained
human walks, we could eat, and sleep, and tell 
each other things we've never heard anyone say before.

In Winter you would wear fur and I would build snow castles.
The air would be our friend, howling or still.


We'd discuss going back, and reluctantly 
trek to the glass square, straight line world
where no one knows how to talk to 
the rain,
or mold the snow.

© 2013 Mark



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Reviews

A lovely classic love feeling to this dream. It flows well and has great use of metaphors. I love the final stanza it just leaves me cold. Think I need the sun now!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Mark

4 Years Ago

Thanks John.
this is exquisite, imagery and well founded words combine to remember a vivid and awesome dream.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Mark

4 Years Ago

Thanks q, glad you liked it :)
quinfinn

4 Years Ago

indeed! you're welcome
this is one dream i would try my best to hold on to and remember every detail and emotion. excellent poem.

Posted 4 Years Ago


A truly classic piece that negates the reason for reading, well done.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Mark just when I thought your writing couldn't amaze me further, you bring forth this!!! I always said you had talent so pure that it brings tears to ones eyes, well this was the one for me! Oh how beautiful the imagery was in each line. I keep going back to read, trying to see which verse I liked best. I can't. For each one brings forth another feeling and to me all are magnificent..

Another winner my friend.. Keep on writing Mark. Never loose your sense of wonder..

Mags xo

Posted 4 Years Ago


Mark

4 Years Ago

Thank you, glad you like it. you sort of inspired it.
Let's just all take a moment to appreciate this poem, because it is superb--especially with "Yellow light" by Of Monsters and Men playing in the background as I read it. I was wary of the multiple "would"s but it works, it eases into the weather and images. I'd bump "the rain" up to the line above it though, it looks odd being so short and since the last line is short already... Thanks for sharing

Posted 4 Years Ago


Mark

4 Years Ago

Thanks e... I much appreciate your thoughts! I'm not taking your advice this time however. I think .. read more
Far from the dryness of concrete and oil stained
human walks, we could eat, and sleep, and tell ....
i loved these lines

Posted 4 Years Ago


Idyllic...sounds perfect...except the snow ;-) Beautifully written, Mark. Thanks so much for sharing this lovely dream with us.

Posted 4 Years Ago


KAOlmsted

4 Years Ago

I won't live long enough for it to be long enough for me *laugh* Anyway, really enjoyed your piece,.. read more
Mark

4 Years Ago

thanks and ya, bet you'll never get tired of palm trees and beaches!
I miss Florida, I always .. read more
KAOlmsted

4 Years Ago

My pleasure...I don't plan on ever leaving Pensacola. I love it here.
"We'd discuss going back, and reluctantly
trek to the glass square, straight line world
where no one knows how to talk to
the rain,
or make it snow."
I agree with the above lines. I have few good conversations with friends or family. Seem like long walks and long talks are things of the past. I like the thoughts and the memories in the poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 4 Years Ago


Mark

4 Years Ago

and thank you my friend. I'm glad you liked that stanza... your poetry sort of inspired it. :)
What I like here is the visuality; almost cimematic, so a fine image producing poem that works 100 per cent.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Mark

4 Years Ago

Thank you Leslie

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Added on May 30, 2013
Last Updated on June 9, 2013

Author

Mark
Mark

Houston, TX



About
I"m a gypsy born in New Hampshire, raised in Alaska, schooled in Washington, raised a family in California. Recently settled in Houston area. Where to next? I don't really have to think about it, it j.. more..

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