The Lemming

Web Search Lemming if you aren't familiar with the myths surrounding their unique behavior

That smile is gone

forever frozen out of place.

You gave the pain away but

still took our hearts in payment.

The star you would have, could have, been

shines close in my mind, far

from the dark matter you chose to become;

pulling apart my Universe.

You told me once we

were one soul and two minds.

Tell me, which did you take with you?

what tether do I have left?

I know of only two species

to untie what should be left alone;

only, at least the lemming

has a purpose.

Reviews

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Written by a man of knowledge, expertly crafted I think.

[icelandicblue]

This is a fabulous use of the lemming as a metaphor. It's very philosophical in nature and the reader wonders too about those tethers. When two are one how is it that they are able to extricate themselves from that. It can only be done painfully I think.

[Kristin Lee]

I like this one. Like TL said it has some profound lines. great job.

[TL Boehm]

The star you would have, could have, been
shines close in my mind, far
from the dark matter you chose to become;
pulling apart my Universe.
Profound poetry. To still see the light of a soul after it has winked out - chosen the darkness

[Mark]

Thank you TL :)

[Infinite hexes]

Wow this seems cool. But I quite don't understand what lemmings really are.

[Mark]

little furry rodents that myth has it they jump off cliffs ... commit suicide.

[Stanley Wilson]

cleverly written emotional work loved it

[Stella Armour]

self destructing Lemmings is only a myth but you have used them well in this write Mark...i can really feel the pain here, a very emotional write..

[Mark]

a myth yes, but then this is only a poem :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

You told me once we
were one soul and two minds.
Tel me, which did you take with you? -- fantastic lines...

The longing and questioning in this is palpable. Great use of emotional language and a concise style that was not at all overdone. The final stanza...the metaphorical significance of the "lemming"...very clever and relevant to your concept. Nicely done, I completely enjoyed this one.

[Mark]

Thank you very much

[QuietlyCrash]

Beautifully sad. I adore how you are able to capture such emotions in a short space. Thanks for sharing.

[dw817]

⊰ℛℛ⊱
Lemmings may have a purpose, but they also have a short life span. Don't let a woman's love drag you down into the dreary dregs. Instead, realize that if she has left you, it is because she is not strong enough to accept you. That she is seeking an easier way of life and isn't wanting the love and commitment that apparently you are putting into the relationship.

And - that's fine. Life is a stream. You can paddle against it and hope to gain back what you have lost, or just float down it and wait for new fortune to come your way. :7

[Mark]

Actuallly, this was not about a love relationship. It was not about me either. It was about so.eone dealing with the suicide of someone who was close.

[dw817]

Wow, and I didn't see this ? Suicide to me, when I attempted it anyways, is a raging storm of chaotic fury where only the emotions rule the intellect. As it is now my G/F says I can't suicide unless she goes with me.

I think she's quite serious about that. Sorry about your loss then. While some may say they understand what you're going through and offer condolences, in my case, I do understand - but can't offer anything more than wide eyes and a heavy heart, knowing how the suicidal mind works.

If you wanna PM sometime, I can tell you what all is involved in the mind and perhaps it may let you better come to terms with her actions, and realize, at least to her, they were not desperate - but necessary.

[Mark]

It wasn't about me :) But thanks David, you are a great person. I like getting to know you.

[dw817]

Sure, hang in there. I sorely miss my Dad too and in many ways I still think he was kidnapped by the government or something for that super-secret invisible laser thing he told me he was working on that one time.

But no, his ashes were launched into space in truth. I HAVE to accept this much as I don't like it.
http://www.memorialspaceflights.com/memorial/newfrontier/wicker.asp
Andrew being my middle name but only family calls me that, everyone else called me by my first name, David.

Uhmm, I guess I like you too. *Knuckle bump or something* :7

[Mark]

Your father was a good man.

[dw817]

He really was. There is however - stuff - from the past me and the doctor are working out with hypnosis. One thing is certain hypnosis was used on me when I was a kid. Now whether it was Dad or someone else, we're not sure yet.

But if it was Dad that's not good, and certainly not impossible with his background in psychology. Who wouldn't want to have the perfect child growing up and if you use hypnosis to get it, so much the better ? Unfortunately I think it backfired a little. I was a nice kid alright, hardly ever questioned him on anything, but I also never stood up for myself against bullies (authority figure) either, even if it was DEFINITELY a situation you are supposed to stand up for yourself.

No, I befriended bullies that did terrible things to me and continued to do terrible things to me all through High School. Even today I don't know any other way except I do let police know about it and I was assigned a police detective I can talk to and meet in person now if I need to.