I Thought it was Love

Unrequited. Nothing much more to say is there?

I hear whispers,

of a small breeze,

soft and lonely,

the sigh of the trees.

Walking homeward,

I felt my heart,

break in silence,

as I fell apart.

Thought it was love,

it turned out wrong,

thought we could sing,

but it wasn't our song.

I heard a soft voice,

as smooth as stone,

worn down laughter,

in the brook alone.

It sounded sad,

a drowning voice,

what it would give,

for a second choice.

Thought it was love,

wanting to sing.

The music fell,

leaving only sting.

I'd give it up,

both then and now,

But I'm addicted,

can't let go, somehow.

Thought I could be,

everything for you.

but that was my lie,

I just wanted it true.

Thought it was love,

thought I was free,

have to be strong,

what will be will be.

Thought it was love,

I thought we'd sing.

You've gone away,

I'm left with nothing.

Reviews

[quinfinn]

this has all the elements of a love lost story and some very familiar feeling incorporated throughout...the gentle hand you lend to the penning of these verses suggests a very sincere and doting lover who has a broken yet forgiving heart...and the natural scenes you paint along the journey give this a realism which touches the senses. well done.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A very melancholy piece that uses each stanza to drip feed the pain and disappointment and the desperation of feeling rejected.

[Frieda P]

Oi, this one is deep and painful, it's more like an addiction when it's over and that other person has nothing to give, we keep going back hoping that we'll get that fix but it never works. Good one my friend.

[Mark]

Thanks Frieda, it was a painful time in my life all around when i wrote this.

[Jack...]

Damn Mark, and they call me the romantic. I think I will be looking over my shoulder for a bit...then out in front as I try and catch up. Very nice my friend.

[Mark]

Thank you Jack! I certainly respect your talent as well.

[redflutterby]

We can't be everything for someone. I know, I tried for years. In my case he took and took but didn't give back the intimacy which is always a part of the ideal love.

Your heart ache is very clear here... thank you for sharing something so personal. ;-)

[Mark]

Yes I agree with you. There's a balance in loving someone, yet we all yearn to be 'coupled up' don't we? Or at least, the vast majority of humans do.

[Emerald Seas]

A true, heart-wrenching write. I understand the view, it just isn't my view of what love really is... as I told someone else in a review the other day - love doesn't hurt (or at least real love shouldn't) it is the expectation of reciprocity, when unfulfilled, that is what hurts. IMHO... of course, I could have the concept all wrong anyway!
A sad, sorrowful situation that you've given us with vivid intensity. Well done, Mark!

[Mark]

You are absolutely right, to be 'in love' takes two people otherwise it is just an expectation. At the time, what your head says, however, matters little to your heart.

[QuietlyCrash]

Wow, I just love the flow of it all. It's beautiful and heartbreaking. I can just hear the song of sadness that he's playing in his head. Great job :)
-Riley

[Angi]

This one flows perfectly, the rhyme is just right, Mark. I picture him walking along a shore, breeze blowing against him, hands in his pockets. He is kicking at the waves and mourning. Angi~

[Mark]

It was a gravel road through a forest with a brook nearby actually, but close enough! Thanks for the review. :)

[s y e]

I guess a one sided relationship is tough to deal. Well I don't guess, I know. It's a sad thing when love doesn't go both ways if you know what I mean.

This poem was so touching and emotional, you write with so much passions and honesty, and most of all your heart was in there.

Good write, Mark!

~ Noodle.

[Mark]

Thank you, I've always tried to be honest with myself. :)

[s y e]

Honesty is better than lying, once you start you don't stop. :-)

[Mark]

I think that is very true, and at my age, it's easier to keep track of :P

[s y e]

Haha, you're age as I young I'm guessing... ;-P

[Mark]

umm what? LOL

[s y e]

It's a joke, I'm saying your youngggg! Haha

[Mark]

oh :P In my head I am!!!

[s y e]

Hahaha xD

[lee von cleef]

Nothing sounds pretty good some days, upside down, kids crying all around, can't find a dry diaper, oh ya it is love !

[Mark]

Been there. :)