Night train to rhythm 'n blues

inspired....

takin' a slow train
trippin' & rappin'
them fat scats
pickin' up boys on
the block, sayin' do
you got a ride
to the next joint?

pick me up on the
night train at the
corner of rhythm 'n blues
do you like jammin'
with them cats?

draw them crowds
in close with doo wops
grooves 'n tappin' shoes
your diabetic diamonds
& booze .... got that
boogie in your mood

while my girls play
them lovers tunes for
greasy spectators of
trains, & graffiti walls
do you got a place
I could lay at?
ridin' the night train
to rhythm 'n blues.

Author's Note

Inspired by Annette Pisano Higley's 'Night Train'.

Reviews

[ms. barrie]

i enjoyed the upbeat atmosphere, that indeed reminds me of not only of a jazz tune but of Lou Reed's "walk on the wild side." lyrics -- reading this, i was snapping my fingers to the beat. very unique, and uplifting ink you've penned. -- thank you for sharing - x - b.

[Island Hippy]

Aloha B, lovely to see you :) Mahalo for your great comment. Very much appreciated. Izzy

[duff]

A piece conjured with a sharp edge and soul. Rappin the blues with a smile!

"do you like jammin'
with them cats?"

I like that line. Nice job Izzy. A fun read for sure:)

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo my friend appreciate it

[duff]

You're welcome:)

[mercy party]

all aboard to nowhere! the poem was great, i really got into the rhythm of this. Awesome!

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo mercy party I appreciate that.

[Rassoul]

Such an amazing poem, keep writing!

[Paul Bell]

Only slow train you'll be taking, is down the nursery.
Though you can play rhythm and blues to the little one for sleep purposes. Hows you doing.

[Island Hippy]

Haha .... aloha Paul :) you always manage to make me laugh! I am well thank you hope you are too. Mahalo much my friend!

[MsJewel]

Your words are wonderfully creative and such a joy to read. :) Julie

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo Julie, I appreciate your lovely comment

[Einstein Noodle]

your title brought instant memories flooding to me ...songs and the sounds of trains clacking along the rails (i hopped and rode a train for many miles in my youth;)
i have to say i am not a big fan of this style of language ..it is difficult to use; and come across as authentic .. especially when we write in other flavors as well (i have tried it myself at times) ... having said that .. i think you stick with your theme, scene and add color, texture and flavor throughout ... we had no trains to take around town in my neighborhood ..just buses, bicycles and feet ;) and eventually cars if parents would allow or friends somehow afforded one ... the night and trains and the blues go together so naturally ... i keep hearing "Rainy Night in Georgia" by Brook Benton ..a song that cleaved itself into my very bone ...but that's another story ..enjoyed the reading experience ma'am
E.
https://youtu.be/bDRbF80NKDU

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo for your thoughtful review. I appreciate your honesty :) and am relieved it came across ok at the very least. That's a great song, I have to admit I like Randy Crawford's cover of it a tad more :)

[Einstein Noodle]

:) .....................

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Having read Annette Pisano Higley's 'Night Train' I perceive you have given the journey a whole different treatment in this expressive and 'musical' adaptation. Love the line ' your diabetic diamonds & booze' a line to kill for line!

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo John I appreciate the visit

[Weeping willow]

Wonderful write,I love most blues songs as I am a rainy day soul person;-]

[Island Hippy]

Mahalo weeping willow

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Sister girl-you slayed it! I bow to the Beat-Master! "Pick me up on the corner of rhythm 'n blues" "Be-bop grooves 'n tappin shoes" - every word poppin' with hustle and flow. Rhythm breakin' it down low! LOVE you my ohana- so brilliant!' :))

[Island Hippy]

Aloha my ohana :) you make me smile. Mahalo for the inspiration and generous words!! Much aloha ohana xo