The Girl with the Shades

A poem about a girl battling depression and overcoming it

The girl wears shades over her eyes

But yet she sees.
She sees the pain and the torture and the sorrow and the fear
She sees the never ending fight for survival
The fight that goes on even after it is clear that there will be no winner
She has experienced the true darkness that comes only after that last glimmer of hope has gone away
The girl has bared witness to all of these things.

But yet she sees.
She sees the laughter and the pride and the joy that surrounds her
She sees the reason for life, and its hope and eternal forgiveness
She sees the friends and the family and all of the people who have been beside her the whole time.

But yet she cannot block out the pain.
She feels the fear and the defeat and the knife against her skin
She feels the comfort of the pills and the solace that they could bring
She knows what has happened in the past
And she knows how to make the memories disappear.

But yet she knows.
The future is the one thing left undecided
The future is something she can change
The pain and the torture and the sorrow and the fear are temporary
But the family and friends and possibilities they bring
Those could last forever.

And so finally.
The girl puts down her knife and the bottle of pills
And stares out at the night which calls to her
The endless possibilities that now wait for her on the horizon
She sees all of these things.

And she takes off her shades.

Author's Note

I don't write a lot of poetry, so I need advice on how to make it better

Reviews

[Travis Mitchell]

Wow this was awesome:) it defeated the cliche of a "depressing" poem and has a surprisingly upbeat and inspiring finish. As for a critical point of view, I joined this site yesterday haha so I probably need some improvement. The only real thing I noticed about this poem that could be worked on was the quick and almost reasonless change of heart by the character towards the end. It didn't feel like there was strong enough motivation for her to change so easily. But that's just my observation:) it was awesome none the less and I loved it:)

[Isobel Moon]

Thank you so much for this review!

[D.T.]

My favorite thing about this is the happy ending. Great poem!

[yashmita13]

wow this is so good. amazzing

[Isobel Moon]

thanks so much, glad you liked it!

[Daisygirl]

I loved the different aspects you portrayed in the poem, it made it feel more real.

[Isobel Moon]

thanks, I'm glad you liked the style

[~]

Good for her!! I am happy that this poem comes out with a strong message and a strong happy ending. Strength in adversity. Bravo! :D

[Isobel Moon]

yes, I'm always trying to find a positive side in everything I write about

[~]

that is great attitude! may it always stay with you Isobel!

[Willard Wells]

All critical situation leave you in a black and white situation. Finding one's true self is challenging when depressed, but as is said. Death is a permanent solution to a temporary situation. Stay strong and go on. Nice work and thank you for sharing

[Isobel Moon]

thank you for the review!

[Perkele.7885]

This was a win 'for the gipper' ...a well received poem here in this house...

[Isobel Moon]

thanks so much, it means a lot

[Sea Light]

This brought me back to some of my darker days. I'm glad this poem ended on a good note.

[Isobel Moon]

I hope you have overcome that battle, and thank you for appreciating my writing

[Coyote Poetry]

This is good poetry. Told a story and kept the attention of the reader.
And so finally.
"The girl puts down her knife and the bottle of pills
And stares out at the night which calls to her
The endless possibilities that now wait for her on the horizon
She sees all of these things.
And she takes off her shades."
I like the above ending. Hard to do, but we must find hope in something. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Isobel Moon]

thank you for the review!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Relic]

How great it would be if all people with depression could come to this conclusion which is optimistic and positive.

It takes time to find your style when doing poetry. I'm still searching myself. I would only say that condensing your lines and trying to find similes, metaphors, alliteration or any other element of poetry can go a long way. Nice job, :)