Chapter 1

             I had trouble sleeping and doubted I would ever be able to sleep again. I glanced over to the alarm clock; it read 1:30 A.M. The night had just begun and here I was, stuck in my Hello kitty bed, clinging to Mr. Tom (my stuffed monkey). It was raining outside, weather rarely seen in this small town and unusual for this climate. It was a persistent rain, not like the tiny showers during the previous day. Listening to the tiny droplets slinging themselves across the window pane, I closed my eyes, taking in deep breaths, trying to rest my mind; to no avail sleep would not come.
                  “It figures,” I whispered into the darkness, disgusted with my sleeplessness. With nothing to do but to look at the ceiling and to wake up my sleeping arm, I hummed. I hummed a tune my mother use to sing. It was my favorite, a piece called Sleeping Baby. Of course, I wasn’t a baby anymore, but it was still nice. And so, I hummed until nothing but that soft melodic tune filled my brain. I didn’t usually hum this particular song, but when I was alone and wanted nothing better, but to be in total silence it was a pleasant change. I got bored though, repeating the chorus, the only part I truly knew, and so I turned my attention to the window. The branches were forcefully scraping the panes. I began to watch the rhythmic movements of the back-and-forth swaying of the trees. They were dancing, not because the wind was making them, but because they hadn’t had a care in the world; something I wished for everyday. I would have gladly changed places with the tree�"if only I could be so lucky.
                  I sighed, inhaling deeply. The rest of the house was silent, a clear reminder that everyone else was sleeping; everyone but my mom. I wasn’t sure if she was sleeping at all and even what the time was. I didn’t know where she was, period. I continued staring out into the sea of rain, thinking about where she might be and if she would ever come back. Dad missed her and, in truth, so did I. I would never admit it though.  I sighed once again thinking how lucky my brother, Kevin, was. He was only 10 and if he lived his life without sorrow, I would be very pleased. I didn’t want him ever longing for anything. I eventually got tired of looking out the window and my stomach had decided it was time to eat. So I got out of bed, slipped on some slippers and a coat, and made my way downstairs. With every step I took, the creaking of the old mahogany stair case made its way to my ears. I winced, not wanting anyone to wake up. I really didn’t feel like talking. 
                  With a bowl in my hand, I began to pour cheerios, slowly filling the bowl as quiet as I could. I sat down at the dining room table, leaning my head on my hand, while stuffing my face. I hated cereal, the feeling of dry mixing with wet disgusted me; but since I was out of other options for food, I had to deal with it. And so I ate and ate until I could feel a burp rising in my chest. After I had finished my late night snack, cleaned the dishes, and had put the cereal back in the cupboard and I headed back to my room.
       I was quickly distracted, though, when a knock was played out against the front door. Who was at our house this late? I hesitated, debating whether to run back to my room and hide under my covers, or to gather my courage and answer it. What’s the worst that could happen? Oh yes, get kidnapped and sold in the black market by Russian spies. Okay, so maybe my geography wasn’t that good or world history for that matter, but what did I care? I, at least, had enough common sense to know it to be strange for someone to be knocking at 1:30 in the morning.
      When I had scooted close enough to the door to see through the peephole, I gulped. 
      Nothing. There was no one there!
                 What the Hell, I thought. Was someone playing games with me?! And then another thought popped in my head. “If that’s you, you annoying brat,” I said, trying to push my voice through the door, “then I suggest you stop. I’m going to call your mom and dad.” I was sure it was the next door’s kid. It was silent, making my heartbeat even faster. And that’s when he appeared. 
                  “Annoying brat?” I heard from behind. My eyes grew large as I realized that that voice had come from inside the house. I turned around to see a dark shadow. I could have almost died right then and there. “That’s not very nice,” it commented. 
                   “Who the hell are you?” I demanded. The stranger then stepped forward, revealing a dark young man. As he approached, I backed up, banging into a can full of umbrellas. I grabbed one, plotting on how hard to hit the stranger.
                  “I’m Mother Nature. I am humbly at your service,” he announced, bowing. And that’s when I knew things would never be the same. My heart felt as if it were going to leap out of my body. 
                  “Mother Nature, huh?” I asked sarcastically. Who ever this guy was, he obviously didn’t know that the real Mother Nature was a woman!
                  “Yes,” he answered, smiling. Honestly, he had to be the strangest guy I had ever met. He held out his hand and I looked him over, completely awed by the manner is which he played the victim. Everything about him was green! From his green slacks to his green polo shirt, not to mention his green jacket!  I could have thrown up just looking at him. But once I steadied my gaze on his face, I could swallow again. He was gorgeous. Well, this is just a dream then, I thought.
       Mother Nature continued to just stand there, holding up his hand. His patience was outstanding. “What? Am I supposed to just jump in your arms?” I asked. He didn’t take the hint.
       “If you wish, but I prefer if we just hold hands for now.”
      I frowned on his stupidity. Holding my hand intently close to my chest, I shook my head no. His smile quickly faded. And for the longest time�"it felt like an eternity to me�"we just stood there, not moving nor speaking. 
                  “This is gay,” I finally spoke up. Once again, he didn’t get what I was saying. Great! 
                  “Why yes, this is a very happy occasion, Hope.” His smile returned as fast as it had disappeared, probably not leaving again. 
       What the--, I thought. He knew my name! Some complete and total stranger freaking knew my name! 
       Wait!” I let out, startled. I didn’t even realize he had moved closer, closing the huge gap between us. A sweet aroma swirled around me. Don’t let him near you! I told myself.
       “Hope?” he asked, reaching for me. I banged into the door, backing up. I just couldn’t speak! I began shaking my head vigorously, trying to clear my mind. This smell, it was invigorating… it was intoxicating. 
       “Leave me alone,” I finally managed to say, sliding down against the door. My mind was in a fog. “Just leave, now!” I whispered harshly. I stared at his shoes, trying to hold back the tears. I was scared…shitless. He just kept on standing there! 
       “Don’t you understand what I’m saying? I’ll call the police on you!” 
                  “Police?” He asked dumbfounded. He had already taken a seat in front of me. I was sure he would be able to see my tiny shakes. 
                  “Oh my God, please tell me I’m dreaming and when I open my eyes, you’ll be gone!” Not thinking, I closed my eyes, tightly. I took deep breathes and started to count to three. When I opened them, there he was. 
                  “Listen, I’ll do what ever you--except sleep with you. Just please leave. I’m a young girl and still have so much potential. If you kill me, if that’s what you’re planning, a great person would be lost,” I pleaded, quickly standing up. He did the same. 
       He didn’t reply, just stood there like a dumb idiot. I was getting pissed. Why wouldn’t he leave?!
       “Fine,” I grumbled, hurrying my way past him. 
       “Where are you going?”  He finally asked, turning to me. 
       I’m going to bed. I think I’m losing my mind…” was all I could say. 
       Just like a zombie, I made my way upstairs, looking straight ahead of me. I was afraid if I turned around, something would happen. And then like a quick burst of light, thousands of thoughts began to pop in my head. What would he do here? What was his purpose? Would he hurt my family?  I didn’t have enough time to think about all this, as I ran back downstairs, not caring that the creaking of the staircase was loud. 
       It was as if he had never appeared in the first place. The umbrellas were in their normal spot, nice and neat. No shoe marks were present, and that enthralling smell had vanished. I just stood there, puzzled. I was definitely losing my mind. Shrugging it off, I slowly made my way back to my bedroom. As I held my hand on the doorknob, I yawned. I would not be going to school tomorrow if I did not get sleep. I finally flung myself onto my bed, scrunching up my softest pillow, enjoying the silky fabric. I nuzzled deep down, too lazy to pull the covers over me, and had a terrible nightmare. 
      
      
                   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      
      
      
      I awoke to the alarm beeping at its loudest. 
       “God,” I mumbled, my head still faced down on the pillow. Feeling with my hand, I turned of the alarm, enjoying the peace and quiet. It was 8:00 in the morning, my brother was at school and my dad was off to work. Maybe, I would enjoy this day better if I just took it off. With nothing left to think about, I retraced back to earlier this morning. It had obviously been a dream because I hadn’t awoke to sirens and the flailing lights of a cop car. I smiled, making fun of myself for being so silly. Nothing like that could have ever happened. 
       “Good morning.”
       “Good morn--” My heart stopped almost immediately. In front of my bed, stood him, the stranger from last night! Feeling suddenly chilly, I peered down, my chest almost sticking out of the tank top. My robe was spilled out across my desk chair. I frantically flung the sheets over me. 
                  “Oh my God! Not you!” I screamed. “Get out! Get out!” I began to thrash my legs around, not caring that this was fit for a little kid. I had a reason to fret. Peaking over the blanket, he just stood there. He wasn’t smiling though and was obviously upset. Good, I thought. 
       “Am I disturbing you?” he asked, rocking on his heels. 
       “Yes, very much,” I replied, fidgeting with the fringes of the cloth. “Just give me a moment to get changed and then we’ll figure out this mess.”
                  He left like I asked, so I got dressed for school, doubting the whole time, that I would even go. He gave me a great excuse not to.
                  “Yes, ma’am. He’s my cousin and deathly sick. I need to stay with him until you-know-what.” I would wink and the teachers would feel so bad they would have to let me attend to him. I snickered but quickly stopped, realizing who I was speaking of. 
       I rushed to get changed, hoping to not give him any time for his evil plans. I then flung the door open and ran out, running straight into him. I hadn’t braced for a collision. I pushed away quickly and started to walk ahead of him. I had gotten half way down the stairs before I realized he wasn’t behind me. I waved at him, ushering him to follow. And follow he did. We got to the dining room and I pulled out a chair for him, pointing for him to sit. Without a word, he obeyed. 
                  “Okay, tell me this,” I demanded, taking a seat next to him, “Who the hell are you? And this time no bull crap.”
       “I am Mother Nature,” he replied. He stared at me, not even blinking.
       “I highly doubt you are. Mother Nature is a woman…” I prompted, pronouncing each syllable slowly. His small brain would need any help it could get.

Author's Note

Final Draft :3

Reviews

[Prophet224]

Ok, first, let me say that I could tell immediately that there was a lot of potential here, as far as your writing. The first few paragraphs were very good. I'm reviewing as I read, so I'll put things as I find them.
I want you to know that though there might be a lot here, they are all relatively minor, and I believe they will make an already good story better. If it seems like I'm picking out small things, I am, because the overall writing doesn't leave large problems.

Here it goes:
- Note first: I like "slinging themselves across..."
- "trying to rest my mind; to no avail it didn't work." - This is redundant. "To no avail" means that something was unsuccessful. Good (and a rare example of proper) use of a semi-colon.
- "...but look up at the ceiling and to try to wake up my sleeping arm..." - the first 'to' is an unneeded word. I saw a few of these throughout, so that's something to watch out for. The less extra words the better.
- "branches were forcefully scraping" - I felt like this could use a metaphor of some sort to strengthen it a bit.
- "...sleeping at all and even what the time was" - This was a confusing sentence. The character had also just looked at the clock in the second sentence of the story, so we, the readers, are very aware of the time. Either remove the clock and let something else tell us that it's the middle of the night (describe the darkness out the window or something and liken it to after midnight) or give us the sense that more time has passed since that first paragraph. There's an extra 'so' in this paragraph, btw. ;)
- Last sentence of paragraph 4 - Maybe clean it up? Read it out loud and it sounds like several thoughts. Maybe make two sentences?
- The knock on the door: The reader sees the character thinking she's not sure why she stopped, maybe it's the strange sensation or maybe it's the knock on the door at 1:30 in the morning... The first thought is "Well, it was the fact that someone knocked on the door at 1:30 in the morning!" :) In other words, it's pretty clear to the reader why the character stopped, it's probably clear to her too.
- Watch the use of words like 'almost', 'something', etc.
- Careful with "as if"s and "like"s, too.
- "awed on" / "frowned on" - you can by awed by or frowned at, but you can't do either 'on'.
- Omg - do people actually say the letters? Even if they do, I don't think it will work in a story.

Section 2:
- watch commas ("Maybe, I...", also later "doubting the whole time, that I would")
- See "omg", above
- "stood him" - he stood?

One last question. Once she wakes up in the morning and he's still around, would she not want to head for the phone and a call to the police?
Good luck! Will read more occasionally as time allows.

[Lost?]

I like this.
I like how you just jumped into the story.
I've only read the first chapter and I'm already hooked. :)
I like how Mother Nature is a guy, it's an interesting spin on things.
It has a certain quailty to it, and I'll be sure to keep reading. :)

[Summers Under The Old O..]

Interesting. A good twist making Mother Nature a guy, very creative. I also like how Mother Nature doesn't understand somethings that Hope says, like misinterpreting her use of the word "gay". It seems like he is stuck in the past almost, which could turn out to be a funny element of the story. You do have some grammar and spelling problems, but I think I just saw a few. You might want to go back and edit your story. This is very good, I can't wait to see more!

[[untitled]]

i love that this book is about mother nature not being a woman that is an awesome subject to write about. the story so far is good it did keep interested and wanting to read more. i felt like i was reading a real novel form a book store.