Forbidden In Sin

Forbidden In Sin

A Poem by JC Fox
"

Another Contest piece

"

 

 

A tender kiss

A forbidden touch

Together in Paris

An undying lust

 

Slipping and sighing

Grinding and moaning

Together as one

Forbidden

 

A woman of the cloth

A nun

Slip off the habit

Stand naked in the sun

I confess my sins unto thee

Oh sister

I beg

As I make you writhe

And shudder

Grow weak in the knees

 

Forgive me sister for I have sinned

I touched myself

I did things I shouldn’t have did

Caress your rosaries

Graze your flesh with my teeth

 

I fell hard when I saw that heavenly stare

I just wanted to see you bare

Together in bed

Your heart next to mine

Married to God

Scorned for all time

 

© 2008 JC Fox


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Featured Review

*deep breath* wow...
lol
Well, first off congrats on entering, l hope it goes well for you.
as for the write itself, it strikes me as... erotic, thought provoking (obvious tho they are, l felt it necessary to mention it.) l do have a few suggestions on punctuation, but in this case l think they're mostly by choice rather then necessity.
What l would've liked to see was a period at the end of certain stanzas, just to add that sense of finality - the first one, perhaps, and definitely the last one.
the words you chose to describe each thought and feeling, however, were outstanding for the most part.
l did notice 2 things, however.
"I confess my sins unto thee
Oh sister
I beg" - this is contradictory, somehow. She's begging and making the other woman writhe, at the same time? possible, but strikes me as odd. The other thing was the second last stanza - the middle line, l would've removed the second did, and either replaced it with done, or something similar. a tense/phrasing issue, for the most part.
Overall, however, quite wonderful. :)

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I confess my sins unto thee

Well, very nicely written. Original content, to say the least. And most provocative. Good job.

Posted 15 Years Ago


It sounds like something Type O Negative would compose. Very dark and sensual. Insane horny vampire stuff right there. I'm honored to be in your loop. Keep up the good work.

Posted 16 Years Ago


love it......nice hot twist............mmmyeah.
and i love the images to text...very nice

Posted 16 Years Ago


Well I wasn't expecting that, a nun, forbidden indeed. Nice idea and nicely executed.

Posted 16 Years Ago


Hott I think very Hott need I say more?

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Lia
Great piece! Loved the wording. Good job. Thanks xx

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

JC-

You never cease to entertain me. What would the Pope think? He might excommunicate you for life preemptively!

-Gabe


Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This was a seductive piece and very alluring

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

LOL Sister Rachel, my second grade teacher, would cringe at this. Fun times... You have a delightful honest style with a flare for the erotic. well done!!!

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nuns are HOT!!!
Great poem. :)

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 19, 2008

Author

JC Fox
JC Fox

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