The Plan

The Plan

This wasn’t the plan
For all this to end
We never saw it coming
Our hearts starting to mend

We had it all set
But it never seemed to work
And I gave up on it all

She had my heart from the start
I loved her with everything I had
Nothing seemed to click into place
It was an endless race

She didn’t catch my warnings
That something was wrong
Now she wakes alone without me
Knowing she waited too long

I kissed it all goodbye
Threw it out the window
As I drove this long road

The big house, the memories
The trucks in the driveway
Tucking the kids in bed
It’s all gone away

We had it all set
But it never seemed to work
And I gave up on it all

She didn’t catch my warnings
That something was wrong
Now she wakes alone without me
Knowing she waited too long

This wasn’t the plan
For all this to end
We never saw it coming
Our hearts starting to mend

Reviews

[alanwgraham]

You've chosen a subject that many will identify with. You have caught the uncertainty when things go badly well. As a poem i feel You could tighten up a bit and avoid some repetition. Perhaps I'm not following it but the last line of verse one seems to contradict what comes before. Also I don't think you need to repeat 2 whole verses. Perhaps just ' we never saw it coming' would be stronger.
By the way the quote in your profile is great.
Regards.
Alan

[J. F. Charleston]

Alan, first off, thanks for the review! I must be honest, this piece was written at a hard point in my life, and just let whatever come from my feelings, so it's not my best work. At the time, about a month had passed after I broke things off with her and began to heal from the hurt, that's where that last line comes from. I do think your suggestion on how to end it would be a good change.

And thanks for the compliment. I've always that it was true.
J.F.

[alanwgraham]

I know how you feel. At that time you just have to write and let it out.
All the best.
Alan

[Kelly Scheppers]

You must take the time to mend, and not dissect so much of the relationship while its all so freshly laid open. Perhaps time is the key here, and the writing of it can certainly be cathartic, too. I wish you well!

[R.E. Ray]

"The Plan" obviously brought more pain than fulfillment; yet, you seem to end with optimism (i.e., "hearts starting to mend." This is intense, heart-wrenching, and yet a glimmer of hope shines through. Nice work, J.F.