Life's Fire

A poem/song to be sung to the tune of "Help Me Make It Through the Night"

 

Yesterday's fire kissed the sun

burning skies with ecstasy

now I step into the light

set ablaze and running free

 

Flaming torches glow within

sweet time flows with my desire

nature sings with happiness

flowers blossom with life's fire

 

You have come and now I laugh

tickled by your poetry

I am singing and alive

shining bright and dancing free

 

Sadness vanished and I smile

hearing birds sing like a choir

basking in a time of love

flowers blossom with life's fire

 

When I lie within your arms

holding my sweet destiny

I see watercolored dreams

painted visions pleasing me

 

Come tomorrow tears may fall

memories of my desire

but tonight you are still here

flowers blossom with life's fire

 

I rejoice to be alive

flowers blossom with life's fire

 

 

Reviews

[NeiL ArandA]

" Flowers blossom with life's fire " ... When I read this beautiful piece, I was reminded of one song that I used to know . This is a poem coming from a happy and content heart. I wish I could share and paste it here but just in case you are interested here is the title. It's " Colour Everywhere " by Christian Bautista ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Hg9zL9o7-A

[Joyce S. Greene]

I just viewed the song you sent me, and I want to thank you so much for doing so, Neil. I can't tell you when I have been as moved by a song/video as I was by this one. It is so very lovely and for you to be reminded of it by my poem is really incredibly nice of you. You are a very good friend, Neil and I appreciate you very much. (I am going to be sharing this youtube video with my friends!)

[NeiL ArandA]

Wow Ms Joyce . You appreciate even simple and little things . When I found the Lord Jesus in my life . It's all but black and gray . He put colors back in my gray skies. And now its colour everywhere . Though life is still a drag I have a reason and purpose to be thankful and smile . He put colours back in my like . Thank you my beloved fellow poet

[Pryde Foltz]

A wonderful tapestry of words. You subtly weave many themes into one cohesive piece. Awesome.

[Joyce S. Greene]

Thank you, Pryde, for your lovely comment. I really appreciate your reading my poetry, it means a lot to me. My job is a difficult one and I'm trying to squeeze poetry in between everything else, but I will be reading your work soon.

[wordwarrior]

This is really a stunning poem! I adore the whole thing(except that it's longer than 12 lines, boo hoo)
The imagery, rhyme and flow are all from an expert writer.
I love the repeating lines. Beautiful indeed all round!

[Joyce S. Greene]

Thank you for the wonderful review! Sorry that I missed the line length limitation. Duh! I have removed this poem from the contest and submitted another that definitely fits your criteria (only 5 lines) Thanks for letting me know in time. I appreciate your sponsoring a challenge. I am new here and trying to get in the swim of things.

[wordwarrior]

Me too Joyce. My profile says I joined in 2008 but I don't remember lol.I have just become active here and still finding my way around.
Thanks for entering another poem!!

[Joyce S. Greene]

You're very welcome. Look forward to reading more of your lovely poetry - I am really busy with job and commute, etc, but really enjoy this site. Everyone is so friendly.

[wordwarrior]

Please there is absolutely no pressure. I know what it's like trying to keep up with other ;people and their comments. This site is refreshing because you don't feel you have to do that!
Sounds like you have a busy life and that's a good thing!

[Frieda P]

Wow this one should be song lyrics, it really pumps you up to read it and has a rhythm all it's own going on...

You have come and now I laugh
tickled by your poetry
I am singing and alive
shining bright and dancing free

Tickled by this poetry indeed!

[Joyce S. Greene]

Thanks, Frieda. I very much appreciate this comment. I did write this as a poem/song to be sung to the music of "Help Me Make It Through the Night." (Per the poem's description) It makes me happy to know you could hear the music.

[Frieda P]

Ha sorry I missed the fine print, but I still heard the music! My pleasure. :-)

[MsJewel]

I love the beautiful upbeat tempo of this poem Joyce - and the repeating line is perfect, but I think most of all I love the message...rejoicing to be alive. Wonderful writing my friend. :) Julie

[Joyce S. Greene]

Thank you, Julie. After a long day at work, it's like waking up to a room filled with sunshine to read your review.

[PANTHER811]

Penned with love and jubilance, free flowing stream of words. You took me with you Joyce, enjoyed the journey. Thank you Tom

[Joyce S. Greene]

I'm glad, Tom. Thank you for taking the time to leave behind your thoughts.

[Allen Smuckler]

I've read and reread this several times...mostly because I just liked the way it flows off my tongue and makes me feel...I sang it, uh huh, I did (cuz I do know the song)...but not at all necessary
almost has the ring of a villanelle...the same rhythm and repetition of certain lines..
such beautiful images and insight...
It is glorious to be alive Joyce and you are so right...flowers DO blossom with life's fire.
The rhyming was impeccable...the message heartfelt and hopeful
great write joyce
allen

[Joyce S. Greene]

What a wonderful way to start my day, Allen. You have made me very happy and I thank you.

[asdarkeyesclose]

'I am singing and alive
shining bright and dancing free'

so much positive energy in this. a real sense of freedom here, the delight and wonder of love painted artistically. fantastic.

[Joyce S. Greene]

Thank you so much for your fantastic comment. You have made this day a very bright one for me. I enjoy reading your words very much - you are a very gifted poet.

[richom]

I almost never read free verse and don't understand its appeal. (I write only rhymed, metered poems which, as I've been told, makes me a stodgy dinosaur.) I like this poem very much, however. Your excellent phrasing and imagery convey the mood and feeling very well. I also like its construction of all seven-syllable lines and the visual appeal of centering on the page. Since you do have a meter pattern, I suppose this would not be classified as free verse, but I don't really know since I'm ignorant of such things. Excellent work.

[Joyce S. Greene]

Thank you for your very positive comment, richom. This poem is both metered and rhymed, so it is also a rather stodgy poem in form if not in content. But then, most songs are written in metered-rhymed verse. I mostly write tanka nowadays which is usually metered but unrhymed verse and can only contain five lines. I really like the form since it captures one moment in time and leaves "dreaming room" for the reader to co-write the poem. But if it doesn't appeal to you, I certainly understand. Many folks aren't crazy about the Eastern forms. But I am digressing, and want to thank you again for your very encouraging words. I wrote this poem a few years ago but wanted to share it with the poets on this forum. I may dig out some more of my stodgy poetry and hope you will come around to read it. Have a very nice evening.

[ShelleyA]

Hi Joyce. This is a beautiful write and love song. A heartfelt poem about this special love. It's beautiful read aloud as well as sung to the tune "Help Me Through the Night". Good imagery, flow and tone. Line to line transition and breaks are well done. Very nice rhythm and enjambment. Nice use of metaphor. Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme. Every second/fourth line in each stanza is a nice mix of dactylic, feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed very well in this piece. Deep expression of emotion. You tell a beautiful story of this passionate love that will also, even should it end, be a memory of heartfelt desire. Good word choice as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. I would pick a favorite stanza, but i love them all. Good closing lines. Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on!

[Joyce S. Greene]

Your comment is so moving that I'm practically in tears, Shelley. Thank you so very much for your exceptionally nice observations. I will be reading amd commenting on more of your work this weekend - tonight we are off to country music rib fest. My kind of music! Have a very nice weekend, Shelley.

[ShelleyA]

You're very welcome Joyce. It's always a pleasure to read your poetry. Take care and have a great day!