Flowers in the trenches

Flowers in the trenches

A Poem by Jeremy Baker

Trenches remain long after the fighting finishes -

they change sides, get enlarged or filled in,

yet still they remain, ever ready, ever alert,

enamoured of human flesh and blood.

No procreative force can keep pace

with their bloodlust and appetite.

 

Go ahead, try to immerse the world

in peace and love; the trenches shall

not be denied their treasure.

From the mulch that marks the many

residents, from within the decay and dirt

rise remarkable roses.

 

The faded petal, colour of blood,

a speck of life from the depths of death,

like a spiral of souls seeking rebirth in song.

The tears of heaven, falling from the nimbus cloud -

do they sanctify the sinful? Hallow the ground?

No. Trenches would not remain unless they still had their uses.


© 2014 Jeremy Baker



Author's Note

Jeremy Baker
Pour le monde, pas pour la guerre ...

My Review

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Featured Review

This one caught me at an "awkward" moment and I almost gave in and wrote my thoughts...

THIS is YOUR place...and you shone well... didn't need excess trash lying around...

I only mentioned anything at all BECAUSE...
THIS one reached inside... as you meant it to do.

Take care,
Chris

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I love it, good luck :)

Posted 5 Years Ago


This entire piece was magnificent, the words you've chosen and the flow you used were exquisite. But that last line...that...very...last....line
it blew me away!

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jeremy Baker

5 Years Ago

Thank you Dean for your kind words and thoughts. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it!
Dean Kuch®

5 Years Ago

The pleasure was all mine...
This is very... different. I like it. It is kind of like finding beauty in the ugliness of the world.

Posted 5 Years Ago


The final line is powerful, epigrammatic. The American historian J.C. Furnas commented on a visit he made to the battlefields of France some years after the Great War, noting that, although Nature had filled in much of the most visible scars, there was still the odd and incongruous moraine or bunker that spoke to what had taken place a generation before. This piece is wonderfully built; evocative but over-stated, tighly-woven and well-paced, valedictory in tone without ever slipping into the screechy. Fine, fine work.

Posted 5 Years Ago


fantastic.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Very nice, I love how you created the hope with the flowers, the sort of rebirth with them, love this line here:
"like a spiral of souls seeking rebirth in song."
I felt like this poem just came alive greatly, very nice write, I like this a lot.

Posted 5 Years Ago


This was incredible.
Congrats on rendering me speechless.

Posted 5 Years Ago


The trench warfare of WW1 and WW2 were a battle of inches and so much death. People don't realize in some battles in WW1. 40 thousand men fought and die in the trenches. Thank you for a powerful poem. People forget the blood shed for old wars. The sad part we learn nothing from continents in hell and a generation raised with blood too close. Trenches were part of the new wars. No beauty or good memories for men waiting to kill or be killed. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

Posted 5 Years Ago


My first thing to say to you: Dam, you got a way with words.
If there's anything to start off this review with, it's that and that you just guaranteed yourself a 100/100 from this reader. Yeah, I'm pretty dam impressed :p
Well to say this is a wonderful piece on the subject of trench warfare is a pitiful comment to deliver, but it's probably the only ace I hold in my hand at the moment. Shall we say instead: It's the cream of the crop? lol, cheesy, yes... so no we shalt not. Shall we say instead: This work is delivered by the effort of an intellectual soul who's well experienced in his field, creates artwork out of words and bounds them to a wonderland of imagery. You astound the reader with remarkable terminology, hell nimbus cloud? where the hell did that come from? see that's what I'm talking about: Astounded. you just delivered a punch with an vagabond adjective jumping outta the bushes and making the audience so they say: "take it like a man".. yes, about as random as your glorious word delivery I must say lol, an applaud is definitely indeed in need of being sounded in your direction. Your description of this past portrait of war leaves a residue of emotion with the reader. You use not feelings, but yet somehow provoke them by requiring the reader's response to be that of emotion to the artwork which you cordially fit properly with the felt ink of your pen. I say awesome work, good job, though wish I had more to offer. Would give a more constructive response if it were needed, but obviously it's not, atleast in the perspective from which I'm sitting from.
Enjoy your work, hope to see more ^_^

Posted 5 Years Ago


I actually really like this write. It has a power and of words that seem to float, ever so perfectly on this page. Flawless job, I enjoyed reading!

Posted 5 Years Ago



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1172 Views
34 Reviews
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Shelved in 4 Libraries
Added on October 6, 2011
Last Updated on August 26, 2014

Author

Jeremy Baker
Jeremy Baker

Busselton, South West, Australia



About
I'm a former English & Literature teacher who has always enjoyed the magic, power and simple romance of words well written. My favourite writers include Pablo Neruda, Liam O'Flaherty, Anthony Eaton.. more..

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