Malignant

Malignant

Pessimism is malignant

Death to all of my hopes and dreams.

It traps me in a cursed corner

The root of it deep in my seams.

 

My mind is like a prison cell,

Cold, unforgiving and dreary.

Its walls are stone, blank and alone

I wait for someone to steer me.

 

And then I find it, guiding me

A woman who keeps it simple.

My pessimism sheds away

Just at the sight of her dimple.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I like the way you start out bleak & then end on an "up" note . . . your rhyming is strong & your analogies (malignancies, prison cell) work well to draw a picture of how it feels using very few words. Most of all, I love that you identified one memorable aspect of the beloved (dimple) to encompass everything you think of, when you think of her -- this is an original & relatable means of showing us your deep recognition of everything she's been to change life to the brighter note.

[aLittlePain]

Well expressed and very relatable, I love that you closed on a positive note. Ray

[Lydia Shutter]

Negativity is like a cancer....it festers and makes life intolerable. If you find someone who can make you feel upbeat and optimistic, she is the one to stay around! I liked this. Lydi**

[ReedWrite]

Nice job. The flow and rhythm is unusual at the uptake..but it works in this piece, especially given the content of the first two stanzas. I do that often...create discord with the flow, simply because the words demand the reader feel that emotion. The last stanza resolves that...and it flows gently as you read it...which carries the impact of the words...that you've found a woman with a dimple to sooth your demons. Nicely done.

[Jacob Clifford]

Very relatable. I like that the poem ends on a hopeful note.

[J.M. Wise]

Thanks! A lot of my writing has been pretty dark so I am glad you noticed that i tried to make this one a little more optimistic.

[J.M. Wise]

First word at top is the title so don't view that as part of the poem, enjoy!