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Deadline

Deadline

A Poem by Joey Nizz

In this forest
In its darkness
By the tree with a gun to his head
feigning and pretending
Thinking he no longer has a heart
He was dainty and fragile
Yet
Frozen and numb
Remembering when a drive-by bullet took away his friend
And now somehow he's shattered crushed and damaged
And even more broken

With a finger on the trigger, he pulls his gun to his heads side
A gun loaded with bullets of goodbyes
Seeing himself as the enemy pointing the gun with a deadline

Trembling
Sweating
While holding her wrist across her chest 
Suddenly
She wakes and gets up longing
As the memories flashes before her eyes 
She was dainty and fragile
Yet
Frozen and numb
Remembering when a blade took away her friend 
And now somehow she's shattered crushed and damaged
And even more broken

With a finger on top of a syringe driving it closer to her veins side
A syringe full of poison full of goodbyes
Seeing her self as the enemy pointing the syringe with a deadline

With every fight with himself, he's choosing
In every battle, he falls defeated and losing
In a war where his own enemy is not far behind
With every promise and truth, she has broken 
In every untruths and lie's, she has spoken
In a war where her own enemy is not far behind

They're fighting a losing battle
They're in a war that none of them are victors
They can hardly keep on going in a war where they're barely fighting

Both are fighting their own battles to be free from their past of regret and guilt
Their every thought is a battle
Their every breath is a war
They're truly in a place where they don't belong

Does anything make any sense to them anymore?

© 2018 Joey Nizz



Author's Note

Joey Nizz
My cover of a song originally written by C. Bennington

My Review

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Reviews

rightly you wrote....Nothing makes sense at the end of the day....

Posted 3 Months Ago


Joey Nizz

3 Months Ago

Yeah it sure doesn't right?

Thank you for your review :)
Howdy! Howdy!
Long, long time, no see!

I like the fact that you approached a different topic and a different style than you usually do. The poem has an alluring element, but an element that tumbles me back to reality. A very puzzling and playful mixture, I can say! It drowns me but lets me breathe. I recommend you to experience other branches of poetry, just like you did now, for this action will develop you as a well-carved poet.

I don't have anything to say about grammar mistakes, fortunately!

Let's talk about some words that influence your poem!
"feigning and pretending"
"Frozen and numb"
Those two words have a similar meaning. I recommend you to replace one of the words, from each pair, because, to me (because it is all an opinion) it sounds "inflowing".

Of course, there are also other elements you should replace, but you will realize that after you will explore many other..." essences".

Concluding, I felt really felicitous to see that you explore and that you work for your evolution. Continue just like that!


Until next time...

Farewell!

Posted 6 Months Ago


Joey Nizz

6 Months Ago

Hey J!
Thank you for your honest review, I like to change my style every now and then, I dont.. read more
Jes' Pi

5 Months Ago

I understand!
You're very welcome, Joey!
Wow, such detail and imagery, I can feel a certain struggle in this. Very well written

Posted 6 Months Ago


Joey Nizz

6 Months Ago

Thanks Alex, I appreciate your review ad feedback :)
When I read your writing I always feel so vulnerable and your descriptive capabilities never fail to beautifully capture real struggle. Keep it up

Posted 6 Months Ago


Joey Nizz

6 Months Ago

I always want to show the readers how other people or how they feel and that I understand and that t.. read more
I always mention how you inspire and spread positivity, by writing this you have proven that you understand the battle you fight, conquer the demons inside and emerge stronger and share the lesson with everyone of us. You are a wonderful person I can say by reading your works which are full of concern for others :)

Posted 6 Months Ago


Joey Nizz

6 Months Ago

Thank you for you review and understanding, not many understand what they read but you have, and tha.. read more
Najam Us Saher

6 Months Ago

Your words touched me. Thank you very much for such observation about me. Much appreciated☺
Joey Nizz

6 Months Ago

hehe your welcome my friend ^^
Their every thought is a battle
Their every breath is a war;'
these lines touched my heart.
i feel i could write poems like that....
good effort:)

Posted 6 Months Ago


Joey Nizz

6 Months Ago

Thank you for the review Priyanshi, I look forward to read them once you do :)

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6 Reviews
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Added on January 21, 2018
Last Updated on January 21, 2018
Tags: enemy, losing, fighting, regret, guilt, memories, gun, needle, bullet, broken

Author

Joey Nizz
Joey Nizz

Manama, Reef Island, Bahrain



About
Whatever the mind and heart creates, I put it down with my pen on a paper, whatever inspires me and whatever inspires others, I got to share the inspiration and the knowledge and the hardship that I a.. more..

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