Insensible

I'm really exhausted and weary of what you want me to become

Feeling so introspected, disoriented right beneath the exterior

I don't really know what are you predicting from me, of me?

Always under the difficulties and hardship of walking into you're footsteps

Each of the steps and decision that I make is just another mistake to you

How can I learn and look up to you

When you're pushing me down as I'm already drowning

I really have become so dull and paralyzed

Became so exhausted and weary yet much more, more conscious 

Changing me to becoming this and that, I just wanna be me and a little less, so much less like you and what you want me to be

Can't you just see that you're overwhelming and strangling me?

Grabbing me too strong and tight and just afraid that you will lose your control while holding me?

Just because everything that you sought that I would become

Has fallen like a ton of bricks that you've assembled, right just in front you

Every choice and judgment is just another mistake to you

And every second and moment I waste is just more than I can take

Became so dead inside, can't really feel nor sense you there

So drained and collapsed, but a little vigilant

Trying to make me like this, all I ever wanted to do

Is to be me and what I wanted to be and a so much less than you

And I know, I may and will eventually end up disappointing and fail you

But I know this, that you were just like me

When someone's disappointed in you

The worse part about being and feeling dead inside and dull is there will come a time when you will really wanna feel something but you won't even know how to from being so overwhelmed and pushed back.

Reviews

[Warrior]

So true. Too many of us have experienced this.
A wonderful portrayal of this type of unfortunate situation in life.
Contrary to many beliefs though... the feeling will come back even of you can't believe it will. It will always come back

[Joey Nizz]

Thank you for your review.
I guess it does come back, that's why we gotta keep our guard up from the experience it gave us from before.

[Black Jess]

After an experience like this one, we must learn to be ourselves, and not try to prove anything to anyone. Our mission is to please ourelves and not the others, we are not the object of others and they cannot determine who we are or how we should be like they want us to be. We are free with ourselves, we need to be us and do what we want and if the others don't like it than it's their problem not ours. A person who dragg you down and want you to change for them, is a perosn of interest and don't understand the value of showing your own value by being yourself !
Sure, you must know all this, but reading this bring this idea to me
we just need to cut that chain that is attaching us to the controller and get free of i ! that is the challenge here !
Well written ^^

[Joey Nizz]

I appreciate what your review and I agree with you, I do know all of this, I wrote this from my past experiences.
Thanks for the feedback, I agree with your words.

[Akash gaikwad]

Dead inside!! Amazing poem!! Loved the title and the flow of the poem!! Lot of lines I could relate with my life and some of the lines answered some question I had in my mind!! Thank you for sharing!!

[Joey Nizz]

Im glad that you have liked this poem, and even more glad that you can relate to it and have answered some questions :)

Thank you for your review.

[Najam Us Saher]

Hopeful end. That is what gives one courage to hold on.

[Joey Nizz]

Sometimes if we hold on long enough and endure, a positive outcome will emerge.

Thank you for your review.

[Najam Us Saher]

You are always welcome.
I hope you are fine.

[Harley Quinn]

Amazing! I'm sure a lot of others can relate. :) :) :) Bravo.

[Joey Nizz]

Thanks I'm glad that you find it this way :)

[Ardra]

It's better to be who we are ....no use pleasing others if they don't value us for who we are isn't it...

I guess sometimes out of love we try to be whatever they want us to be...but in the end what we loose is our self.... and the hurt which leads us to low self esteem.... guess we all need to think before we give our all to that person...

Thanks for sharing this wonderful write Joey :)

[Joey Nizz]

Yea I agree... its best to be who we are but sometimes its hard if the people we loves are the ones who raised us...

Yeah exactly.. and its not something you would feel good about if you do it out of love... but sometimes its even hard to think from the amount of judgment and discouragement that was seeded into your brain from them... knowing that they are the closest to you who we looked up to as we grew up..

anyways thank you for your review :)

[Katelyn Kennedy]

This is so dark but yet enlightening. Your writing always makes me let go of myself and reflect on my association with people and truly question what the point of anything is. We all have that one thing that will never fail to make us feel like nothing but it is our everything.

[Joey Nizz]

Its good that sometimes you find yourself in other writings, and im glad that my writings have talked to you.
I agree with you when you said "We all have that one thing that will never fail to make us feel like nothing but it is our everything"

Thank you for sharing that with me and thank you for your review :)

[Donna]

Don't change who you are for anyone! Be yourself always!

[Joey Nizz]

Its really hard to be even yourself when your surrounded and judged by the ones who are close to you, but yeah I agree, always be yourself no matter what..

Thanks Donna

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

You just need to be you no matter what anyone says- the best you can be and you are perfect just the way you are🌹

[Joey Nizz]

Thank you, sometimes its hard for people to understand you, and appreciate you for the way you are and what you want to become or for the choices you make... even if those people are the closest to you which makes even harder..