LIVING TO 100

JOKES ABOUT AGING

I was thinking about my time left on this planet and hey one more day or one more year it's all the same to me. Glad enough to be writing what ur reading. But there must be some kinda cool living to 100. Its like the ultimate in human achievement awards. You get to say things like I've taken over 50000 dumps and a lake of piss.

And it just gets better. Nobody can tell you s**t about how to live. Your obviously a expert. No body alive can contradict your stories about the past everyone who was there is likely dead. So no worries if you confuse a couple of decades.

This all reminds me of this Moms Mabley joke. This is some old school comedy, yawl dont know nothing about that. I wanna bring a little back for you. So the joke was about the oldest man on earth. I hope I tell it well here goes.

So those people from the book of world records or something were travelling all around the world trying to find the oldest man alive. One day they heard of this man who lived in deepest darkest no where.

For years people have made the pilgrimage to hear the profound wisdom of this man and go away enlightened. And so these men did. Made the trek by land, water,and on foot through jungle. To the lonely hut at the base of a lonely mountain. And in it amid the shafts of light and incense sat this tiny figure.

He sat withered and worn. The lines on his face each telling it's own grand tale.
There could be no doubt they were in the presence of the oldest man in the world and so they asked...what is the secret to having such life.

Slowly he moves. Shaking the dust off his lips and says... I smoke lots of weed. Fifth of tequila every day and a different women every night.

Wow that's amazing they said. How old are you?

And the old man said 42.