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Can't really call this a poem... an essay maybe. To me is just a thought.

            There's always such an idealistic response when people talk about love.  There's always so much poetry, so much innocence and beauty.  But if you've been truly in love you know the reality in that fantasy. 

            I know I was in love because I was willing to give up anything in my life to be with her.  Because I was willing to hurt anyone and do anything to make that happen.  Because a feeling that should’ve given my life meaning, made me willing to lose it in an instant.  Because when I should’ve been investing myself into every single day, I felt lost and time lost its meaning.  Because even though I felt lost, resting next to her is the only place I’ve ever belonged.  Mostly, I know I loved her because there is not a thing I wouldn’t have given to have her back.  Because there is not a day after where I didn’t think about death, and pushed myself slowly towards it.  I know I loved because my thoughts became consumed by her, obsessive, sickly.  My reason for living became the hope that things could change.  I loved her because I would’ve done anything to have that back, even at the cost of her happiness.  Only through love could you understand what it means to drown in emptiness. 

            The truth about love is ugly.  There is nothing beautiful about it.  Love is psychotic and selfish.  It’s infuriatingly irrational.  It is senseless, and violent, and corrupt.

            So tell me you have loved because you felt butterflies in your stomach, or the magic of a kiss; and then I’ll know how little you’ve loved.  Because attraction is a rational emotion; so is lust, passion, and desire.  Love’s deception is to evoke in you the most twisted feelings and still make you want to be nowhere else than feeling her breath against your neck, and her body against you as you sleep.  That is something even the best of poets could never explain.

Author's Note

No, I'm not depressed. I don't think life sucks, or think love is for idiots. I'm afraid none of the cliche's apply (though I have my days, like anyone else). What prompted this happened long enough ago. Sometimes there are things that you just need to write. Feelings that need to be let out. This is my observation, my opinion, my thoughts. Please don't tell me I'm wrong or don't know what I'm talking about. Any other comments are welcome.

Reviews

[Luna]

Your reality is perfect. I understand this and the explanation behind it. I agree completely, love is a cruel thing and can be very painful. Well done though it is not a poem, more of a journal. But good job.

[E. A. Fielder]

I always wonder why some people choose to put some poems in story format. this I would say is a journal/ rant poem... something that is a bunch of emotion said straight out. I like your choice of expression.

[melissa]

nice work:)

[Bandersnach]

What a well-stated "thought" this is! I've been in a relationship for a very long time, and it is more work than you can imagine. Occasionally we still have those "butterflies" you talked about, buts it's an awful lot of sacrifice and frustration. And don't get me wrong, I want this relationship. But that's the ironic part; It seems like more trouble than it's worth, but like you said, it's not something you can easily give up on. It DOES make me selfish, and not want let him go, even if it's the right thing to do.
The only thing I might not totally agree with is that "there is nothing beautiful about it;" I'd like to think it occasionally has it's "beautiful" moments. Besides this, I agree with everything else you said.
You're a great writer, and please continue sharing your thoughts! (sorry, my review is about as long as your essay, haha)