Our Conversations Are Like Silence

Culled from life

-Hey, how are you feeling?
-Not good, dude. Rough.
-What have they got you on today?
-I don’t know. My legs still don’t work.
-Were you able to eat anything?
-Yeah. So that’s good.
-Good. Any bloodwork results yet?
-No.      I’m scared.
-I know. It’s okay to be scared. Give me your hand.

 

 

 

-The night nurse is really hot.
-Ha ha. Yes she is. And nice.
-Nice.

 

 

 

-Is all this tape on your IV bothering you? That’s a s**t ton of tape.
-I know. I wanted to chop off my hand last night. It’s okay now.               I think it’s not working. I think it’s not in.
-It’s fine, B. If it weren’t in, the tube would be squirting Ativan and potassium all over the joint.
-I don’t know. maybe. Where’s the … the …
-Here.
-                            Thanks.
-You’re welcome. Give me your hand.

 

 

 

 

-So how are you doing in this boat race?
-What?
-The race. It’s like we’re on a river.
-You’re winning, B. You’re leagues ahead, and you can see the delta and past that, the ocean.
-Ha. Yeah. Winning.                  This is not the kind of winning I want to win.
-I know.

 

 

 

-I think I’m going to be here a long time. Longer than I thought.
-Beats being dead though, right?
-                            Eh. Okay. Yeah.

 

 

 

-Did you hear from your girls yet? Do they know you’re here?
- No. I mean let them make the first move.
-I’m sorry that happened to you.
-Yeah. Well.

 

 

-Your skin is getting hot. Do you feel all right?
-I’m okay.
-Okay. Do you want some water?
-Okay. Sure.

 

 

 

-Did your mom come today?
-Briefly.
-How about your sister?
-No. We talked on the phone.
-Was she surprised?
-She just … I don’t know. I don’t know.               What is that? What’s that sound? It’s faster, what--

-It’s okay. It’s your heart monitor.
-       Oh. Okay.
-You’re all right. You’re going to be all right.
-Okay.
-No wait--stop, stop it. Don’t try to stand.
-But I have to.
-Nope. You’re not doing it without a nurse in here.
-But it takes two of them. I can do it.
-No, you can’t. Come on. Sit back. You’re okay.
-                   What?

-You’re okay, B.

 

 

-Your face when I was standing there by your car when you bought the liquor was priceless. It was “Holy s**t no” and “Oh thank God” at the same time. I’ve never seen anything like it.
-I know, you were … there. I was like " oh. It’s Eve. And then I was like, oh God. Oh God.
-I know. I had no idea what I was going to find when I tracked you down. I was really scared to come find you.
-I was …

 

-I know.
-I thought I was … I mean … it was just, I just …
-It’s okay. I know. Give me your hand.

 

 

 

-I love you, dude.
-Love you too, B. You’re going to be okay. You’re going to get through this. You’re incredibly brave for doing this.
-No.
-You are.
-Eh. It was this or …
-Yeah. So it’s this. This is good.            Well, okay, this sucks, but when it’s done.
-Yeah.

 

 

-I have to go.
-I know.
-I have to pick up my kid.
-Yeah. I don’t want you to go. It’s so long in here. The time.
-I know. Time works differently in ICU. It doesn’t care about the rules of physics.
-I just want to get up. I don’t know where I am. All I know is this room, they brought me in here on a gurney. What’s the rest like? Is it like this?
-Yeah. It’s a big circle with the rooms on the outside and the nurse stations on the inside. All the rooms are just like this.
-Oh. It’s quiet. I thought I was the only one here.
-ICUs are quiet. People are in rough shape in here. They can’t make much noise. There are people in all the rooms I passed.
-Oh. Yeah.
-B. You’re gonna be okay.
-Okay. Thanks for coming.
-I’ll be back on Thursday. Call me tomorrow if you want to. I have my phone on.
-Okay. Okay. Bye.
-You take care of yourself. You’re going to be all right.
-Okay. Thanks.
-Bye, B.

 

 

-Bye.

Reviews

[KAOlmsted]

Holy cats, dude. Your brand of awesome only comes in that really expensive limited edition box...the one with all of the scuff marks and tears on the outside. True gems like this conversation story can only come this naturally through experience, and this type of experience is costly. I want the entire cafe to know how brilliant you are. Hell, I want the entire WORLD to know how brilliant you are. Beautifully done, J...simply that.

[J_Star]

Damn, woman, I'm gonna float off this bench I'm sitting on if you lay it on any more :) Thank you so, so much.

It did come from experience. Recent experience, and yes, costly. I'll have to tell you about it.

[KAOlmsted]

You deserve to float ;-)

I'm here, when you're ready, you can PM me or email me in our usual place. But wait, you'll probably have to PM me here to tell me you emailed me *laugh* I have become hopelessly hopelesser (yeah, I made up a word...so?) ;-)

[J_Star]

Thanks, kimmer, I will. And you're an artist, you're well within your rights to make up any new words when the old ones don't suit your purposes. :-)

[KAOlmsted]

HA! xD Nice...

[Aethereal]

Most of the time, I'm reading poems, but this story caught my attention and had me reading through to the end. You did a great job of expressing a common situation in everyday language. This is exactly with I'd overhear if I was at an ICU.

[J_Star]

Thank you Aethereal; I appreciate the read and review!

[TL Boehm]

Well DANG.
I like to write fiction - and tell a story through the characters - through the dialogue. So THIS - was just like candy for me.
So.
What can I say to convey my admiration, my awe without resorting to profanity? We write best what we know and if this is reality for you on any level it makes it even more impressive that you could bring it here and keep the clout it carries.

[J_Star]

Thank you so much! It took a while for me to be able to process it enough to get it here, so I really appreciate that you saw that.

[Rita L. Sev]

Impressive that you can tell such a vivid story with only dialogue. I can see these characters in the hospital, and feel the palpable frustration and fear of the patient. You've got skills, J_Star!

[J_Star]

Thanks so much, Rita!

[Rane Miller]

I've never read a story filled only with dialogue that flowed as well as this did. Without actually voicing what exactly was going on, the events were bold and obvious. Nice.

[J_Star]

Thank you, Rane.

[Ryan]

love your dialogue. it's such hard thing for me to write, realistically, and you make it seem like a piece of cake! this is intriguing. makes me want to know more. well done :)

[J_Star]

Thanks Ryan!

[Ryan]

:)

[Steven]

The structure reminded me a bit of Hills Like White Elephants. Succinct, pure dialogue. Flows remarkably well. And latent enough to keep us curious enough to hunger through it. Natural. Very nice.

[J_Star]

Dang, a comparison to Hemingway? *Wow* Thank you!

[sithlordjp]

You have a natural talent for dialogue. The words that are spoken, and those that are not, are a pure joy to read... Well done!

[J_Star]

Thank you very much!