but really,

A Poem by JFag

This is how I deal with things sometimes.

It's a genuine fear of mine and the fact that it's genuinely a fear should in itself show that maybe, horribly, possibly, it's true, and were it not for her or maybe even him I would not even dare to think of that as a possibility but alas, it was both her and him, and they are both real and they both said things and they both made me think, maybe him more than her, actually definitely him more than her but that does not mean I can downplay her role as one of the reasons, and I suppose maybe it's just a silly thing to think, I think my mom would say so and I know my dad would say so but people don't understand me like they think they do, and I can't even understand myself at all so how could they, they can't, of course, but it's nice if they think they can because then that means we're better friends, and I suppose maybe it happened when I was far away from home but not from home in the truest sense of the word, and maybe I can blame it all on that or maybe I can blame it on the chemicals that my brain forgot to make enough of or maybe I can blame it on the times we spent together that I can't remember or maybe I can blame it on age or maybe I can blame it on genetics or maybe I can blame it on you.

but really,

dont

know