Son of the jungle

Roku finally meets his father, and doesn't quite go how he thought it would.

Chapter 2:   Son of the Jungle

 

Roku woke of his own accord the next day, which was a rare luxury for him, and after the initial daze of waking, he began to think something may be off. He slid into his woven breeches and left his tent. What he saw made him feel as if a large stone had dropped into his stomach. The camp was deserted, the large fire from the prior evening reduced to a pile of ashes. And all the other members of his family had gone, including his mother.

 

Amidst the shock he had totally overlooked the daunting figure of a large man sitting with his back to him on one of the logs. He could see the beginning of his trademark Tal-Gathee braids, but they disappeared under a black for cloak of thick fur. The unmistakeable flawless pelt of a Sabre, he had never seen one worn before in such a fashion. The climate here hardly called for it, a few brave warriors who had managed to kill one of the beasts had kept them as trophy’s.

 

“Ahh, I was beginning to think you may slumber until noon,” mused the cloaked stranger, he spoke slowly, and his voice was dark and gravelly.

 

Roku froze, he had barely made a sound, yet this man was fully aware of him. As the stranger rose lazily to his feet, Roku felt his mouth open slightly in awe, but was too stunned to check himself, once stood to full height, the stranger was staggeringly tall, even taller than Bargok.

 

His skin could only be described as Onyx, and his eyes were almost as dark, and offered no emotions. Roku thought his torso looked like it had been carved from the very red oaks that surrounded them. He had a cast iron jaw that was deeply defined and a wide nose with a small gold ring in the left nostril.  A thick neck accentuated by towering trapezius muscles. His lengthy arms rippled with dense muscle and veins protruded from his forearms and climbed upwards like thick vines, his wrists were clad with brilliant gold vambraces. He wore strange, full length, jet black breeches that seemed to cling to his muscular legs.

Roku, somewhat taken aback by this larger then life figure. Realised he had been staring silently for a little too long; Thankfully, the stranger broke the silence

 

“I am Tal’Gahn, and it has been a long, long time.”

          

 

 

 

 

******

 

 

Roku walked briskly to keep pace with his father’s great strides, his mind full of questions, his mouth clamped by a cruel mixture of nerves and fear. The small clearing that Roku had previously known as home was well and truly behind them before he finally found the courage to speak.

 

“Father..”

“Yes?”

“Where have you been?” Roku asked tentatively

 

He was met with a lengthy silence that made him instantly regret saying anything. But eventually Tal’Gahn responded. Minimally.           

 

“I have been many places, boy”

 

Roku was disheartened to say the least, though he forged on.

 

“Where was my family this morning, why would my mother just leave?” his voice betrayed him and cracked. 

 

“Borgak knew of my arrival and he herded them all away. he harbours a hatred for me and would sooner slash his hair from his head then speak with me. As for your mother, I’m sure she could not bear to watch you leave any more than she could stand the site of me. she has left the jungle now. You will see her again, of that I am certain”

 

Relieved by his fathers guarantee that he would see his mother again, he breathed a little easier now, but he was confused. When Borgak approached him the night before he had spoken very highly of his father, but Tal’Gahn’s venomous tone when he spoke of Borgak warned him against prying further.  

 

“Where are we going now? And why today?” he demanded, his confidence growing

 

Tal’Gahn stopped abruptly and slowly turned to face his son, his eyes narrowed as he glared down at him. Roku’s eyes widened, and he froze like cornered prey. His father’s eyes now seemed dead, merciless. In that moment he was truly terrified of him.

 

“Enough,” He growled

 

Roku barely nodded and fell back into step with his father, all the anxiety prior to meeting him seemed to be well warranted. Roku’s mother had told him little to nothing about his father, except that he was a warrior of mythical proportions, and that she had met him in her homeland far to the north. Now his absent father who he longed to know more about was finally a mere few paces in front of him, and Roku felt further from him than he could ever remember.

 

 

Roku had been following his father in silence for what seemed like an age. The jungle had thickened to an almost impassable density, the silence thickened also, it was Eerie and made Roku feel far more exposed then he was comfortable with. He realised he had never ventured this deep into the jungle before.

 

The dense shrubbery was starting to make him uneasy, he couldn’t tell if it was stifling because of the lack of air flowing through or because of his nerves. But either way he was covered in a film of sweat and his mouth was awfully dry. A few times he lost site of his fathers figure and a flash of panic ripped through his stomach. But he was always a few only steps ahead of him.

 

Finally they burst out of the side of the dense foliage and came to a wide river. The water was rushing down it rapidly and it frothed and gurgled, Roku had a terrible thirst in his throat that he needed to quench. He ran to the edge and cupped his hands and began to drink, the water in his throat felt like a cool blessing, but beneath the surface things where not so blissful.

 

 In the blink of an eye a dark shape surged up from the water, Enormous fangs came to a sudden halt inches from his face, and inside the river beasts terrifying maw, a blood covered blade piercing from its right jaw to its left. Roku fell back on his rear as all the air left his body in one shuddered breath, he didn’t even have time to scream, he couldn’t fathom how his father had produced the blade and saved him so quickly.

 

Tal’ Gahn grunted in a disappointed tone.

 

Roku’s head sagged as he silently chastised himself. He knew the river was full of basilisks and yet he paid them no mind when he ran up to drink. A Tal’Gathee hunter should never make such careless mistakes, internally, he was furious with himself. But it was clearly visible to his father.

“Raise your head, live and learn boy. You should start a fire, so we can eat,” Tal’Gahn instructed.

 

He waved his hand dismissively towards the shrubbery behind them.

 

Roku reluctantly did as he was told and began collecting fallen branches from the jungle floor, while his father began expertly filleting the beast with his large knife. When Roku was satisfied with the amount of firewood he had amassed, he retrieved two dry stones from the riverbank and knelt at the fire and began striking them together. Tal’Gahn placed the fish fillets on a large leaf and sat, with his back against a tree with his great arms folded across his chest and observed Roku’s feeble attempts to light a fire with an amused look on his face.

 

“Do you need help with that,” He jeered

“No,” Roku snapped.

 

Tal’Gahn chuckled and rose to his feet and strode confidently toward the fire.

 

“I don’t need your help, I’ve done this before!” Roku barked

 

“Oh, I am sure that you have boy, but we do not have long before nightfall. Without a fire to deter the sabres, you will not see the sun.” Tal’Gahn warned.

 

Roku chose to ignore the fact that his father seemed to be implying that only he would die should they be attacked in the night. He surrendered his rocks and moved back from the pile of wood. His father stepped forward, held his hands out at arm’s length over the wood, the blade in his left hand held horizontally. With a sideward glance he noticed a ring of black metal on his father middle finger, Tal’Gahn straightened his fingers and placed the ring on the blade. He peered down Roku beside him through the corner of his eye and the edges of his mouth curved up slightly in a smug smirk.

 

Then he rapidly dashed his hand down the length of the blade while grinding the ring against the steel. The blade flared to life and was instantly enveloped in bright flames that licked out from the edges of the blade. Roku winced as he felt the overwhelming heat on his face and took a step back. Tal’Gahn casually stabbed the blade into the pile of wood up the hilt and the fire instantly took to the dry branches and was soon burning steadily.

 

Tal’Gahn withdrew the burning blade, walked back a few paces, sucked in a full breath threw his ample nostrils and then unleashed one short and sharp but almighty gust from his mouth. And the flame was gone, the blade now glowing red hot, he flicked his wrist down and threw the knife. It stabbed into the wet ground and steam wisped upwards from the damp earth.

 

Roku stared at his father with eyes the size dinner plates, his mother had told him tales of sorcerers and such. But he always thought that’s all they were, stories. He had never seen anything like that. For an instant he thought about turning and running, but he had nowhere to go anyway. He reasoned that the jungle could be just as cruel to him as any sorcery.

 

His father shrugged at him apathetically, skewered a piece of meat on branch he picked up off the ground and began roasting it. Roku approached cautiously, sat by his father and followed suit.

 

As they ate mostly in silence besides Rokus loud and enthusiastic chewing and lip smacking, which was visibly aggravating his father. His now rapidly filling belly had drastically increased his mood. He had seemingly recovered from staring death in the face little more than an hour ago.  Something came to his mind and he asked without hesitation, through a mouthful of grilled river beast.

 

“Father, your name sounds a lot like ‘Tal’Gathee’, are you named after the jungle?”

 

Tal’Gahn turned his neck to regard his son silently for a moment, cringing at the small bullets off meat leaving Roku’s mouth as he almost choked on his own question.

 

“Mm. ’Tal’Gahn’ Means ‘Son of the Jungle’ but it has been many years since this place was my home. Beyond the trees, they call me by many names.” He placed extra emphasis on the word ‘they’. His voice was aloof, and his eyes far away.  

 

Roku nodded silently a few times, and then lay down on his back on the grass looking up at the canopy of leaves above him, it always soothed him. He was asleep within minutes.

 

******

 

It was well into the night and Roku lay asleep, sprawled out on his back with his mouth slightly open. The fire was now beginning to fizzle out. Tal’ Gahn was sat with his legs crossed, bolt upright with his head hung down, arms folded under his chest.  About 30 paces away, 2 pairs of bright red orbs moved through the blackness. the only respite in the darkness was a few pale beams of light were the moonlight clawed its way through the gaps in the canopy.  The orbs bobbed silently towards the camp, now ten paces away.

 

Tal’Gahns head slowly craned back, and his eyes flashed open. His whole eyes glowed white with arcane energy. He heard a scramble as the orbs suddenly vanished followed by barely audible padded footfalls moving frantically in the opposite direction.

 

 

 

                       

Author's Note

as usual i'd love to hear any feedback good or bad, i think i might need to shorten up the chapters, sorry if its a little long. hope you enjoy :) more to come.

Reviews

[Mitchell Dean]

Firstly, I don't think it is too long. I think it is actually not long enough! Each one of the sections feel like their own individual scene but a chapter should flow like one scene unless you are intentionally jumping ahead of time of POV from another location and I feel that (with the exception of the last section) each one of the scenes could be put together and connected with more details. Why did Tal’Gahn just show up now? Why didn't Roku's mother tell Roku that she was leaving? How did the whole tribe up and move without Roku knowing? How did the tribe know Tal’Gahn was coming without Roku also finding out? Why does Borgak hate Tal’Gahn? there are plenty more questions Roku should have, and the walk they seem to be on is a great framing device for those questions. Unless you plan on addressing them later.

Secondly, I really like the way you frame the inner thoughts of each character and describe their actions and the description of Tal’Gahn is awesome.

Thirdly, be careful of telling rather than showing (I know that cliche is everywhere and that it means different things to different people) but rather than telling us what a character means by their words, show it through their body language, or tone. For example:

“Where was my family this morning, why would my mother just leave?” his voice betrayed him and cracked revealing his sadness.

Could you make Roku sound sad here through his actions, body language or the way he delivers the dialogue rather than telling us he is sad?

or

“I don’t need your help, I’ve done this before!” Roku barked defensively

Could you make Roku sound like he is getting defensive here rather than just saying it using an adverb?


Lastly! :D
Why does this scene end with Roku going to sleep? I feel like he just woke up! Could this action at the end take place in the day? or could their walk last so long it becomes night?

All in all though, I really like where this is going and I love/ am totally envious of your world building skills without it sounding like meaningless exposition.