Wyatt Burp's Birth Day

WYATT BURP’s Birth day

 

It was a cold and rainy day when I swaggered into town. It was really thanks to Doc that I was there, he helped guide me into town.  It was a rainy day but the rain didn't bother me as I was used to being wet.  I was actually there looking for two individuals who were my main reason for coming into this town, Mom and Pop McCall.

 

I tried to ask the Doc for directions to find them. I couldn’t understand the strange language they were speaking. I think Doc must have somehow got what I was trying to say because he immediately took me to see Mom McCall.  She looked tired like a horse that had been rode all day without a good brushing at the end but her smile indicated that she was pretty happy to see me.

 

Before I could say anything to her though a pretty nurse grabbed me and whisked me away to warm me in a small shelter off to the side of Mom McCall's home.  She helped me dry off and gave me a blanket with some dry long johns. It felt good in the warm shelter and I felt myself drifting off after a long day's ride through the downpour I had encountered in the canyon. I was tired, tired, tired.

 

It felt like only 15 minutes later when I heard a deep voice calling me

 

"Wyatt…Wyatt!"

 

I opened one eye to peer up at the tall man standing over me, who I could only imagine was Pop McCall. 

 

"Hi, I'm Pop McCall. I'm going to be around for awhile to help you out little man."

 

Little man?

 

Little man?? 

 

Didn't he know who I was? 

 

I was Wyatt Wayne McCall Burp but everyone just called me Wyatt Burp. Pop McCall continued to smile at me with such a huge grin that I didn't have the heart to tell him that I didn't appreciate the little man title.

 

"So where do I find some grub around here?"  I asked Pop McCall.  He must have been somewhat deaf because he just stood there continuing to grin at me.  I tried shouting

 

"Where do I get some grub around here?"  My stomach growled in protest as if confirming what I needed. Pop must have heard my stomach growling because he took me to Mom McCall. 

 

"Here's the best cook in town, little man." Said Pop as he handed me off to Mom McCall

 

"Are you hungry?" asked Mom McCall.

 

"Yes!" I said.  She continued to just stare at me.  I was starting to think everyone was deaf in this darn gun town. I tried shouting again

 

"Yes, yes, yes!"

 

She must have heard that time because she immediately handed over a bottle of the best drink I had ever tasted.  Before entering this town, I had pretty much lived off the land. So when I got that bottle, I gulped it down like it was going out of style.  It warmed up my insides on its way down.

 

            Suddenly I noticed a certain funny odor filling the air. Something was beginning to stink in this town it smelled a little like my cowboy boots when I once stepped in something my horse had left behind.  I checked my boots to make sure I hadn't stepped in anything. I looked up at Mom McCall, she had her nose wrinkled and was laughing.

 

"What's that smell?"  I asked once again shouting because that seemed to be the only way I could get them to notice. She laughed and pointed at me.

 

"I think you're the source of that stink. You need a warm bath and some fresh britches.”

 

I took a whiff.  Peww!!  Mom McCall was right.

 

"That’d be great!" I shouted to her.

 

Mom McCall rang a bell and out of nowhere appeared the pretty young nurse of Doc's. 

"Let's take you back to my place and give you a warm bath. I think we can probably find some new britches that will fit you, too." I had no choice but to follow her back to her place just down the street.

 

She led me back to her place which must have been the town's only hotel and dinner hall.  There were quite a few other cowpokes there and a few cute cowgirls as well.  Some were snoozing, others were getting warm baths and even more were guzzling a warm bottle. I also noticed quite a bit of yelling going on. They must have been new as well and had come to the same conclusion I had. You had to yell to get anything around here because everybody was deaf.

 

            I got my warm bath which ended up being more of a sponge bath. I figured they must have been running short on water. After my bath, Doc’s nurse helped me on with a pair of clean britches.  By then I noticed that the din in the hotel & dining hall had turned into quite a roar.  I decided it was time to find Mom and Pop McCall again. I did what apparently any self-respecting cowpoke did in this town and beginning yelling

 "I need to see Mom McCall"

 

The same nurse came to get me with a good-looking buggy for the ride back to Mom's house.  She carefully drove me back to Mom McCall. 

 

"Much obliged, Ma'am." I tried to say but my throat was so sore from all the yelling that all I was able to manage was a small squeak.

 

            Mom McCall looked happy to see me again.

 

"Guess what, Wyatt? The whole gang is here to meet you." 

 

Most of the gang I met was pretty tall just like Pop and Mom McCall.  Most of them were nice but there were a few shorter members of the gang who seemed mighty suspicious to me.

 

I remember Nana Ricks, who was Mom McCall's Mom. She seemed a little daft in the head because she immediately began cooing at me and telling me what a big boy I was.  She seriously made me reconsider why I had decided to come here.  A tall redhead they called Jet for short seemed pretty decent at least she didn't coo at me. 

 

"Hi Wyatt” She grinned.  I grinned back at her.

 

            There was a tall, mouthy, gray-haired woman. I assumed that she was probably Pop McCall's mom because everyone called her Grandma.  She really seemed like a straight, no-nonsense shooter, almost bordering on rude.  She seemed to upset Mom McCall and make Nana Ricks even dafter.  I was smart enough to know to just smile and keep my mouth shut.

 

            Every family member took turns giving me tours around Mom McCall's home. By the time they were done, I could have found my way around her home blindfolded.  I didn't say much mostly because I was tired of shouting all the time.  I decided it was just easier to let them do all the talking.  I clearly remember my introduction to the smaller, suspicious characters of the gang I mentioned earlier.  There was JP; I overheard Mom tell one of the family members that he had been here in town for about four years. He was definitely an odd duck. He pointed at me, just about poking me in the eye and practically yelled

 

"Is that Wyatt?"  I jumped back but what he did next surprised me even more.  He kissed me on the cheek!  I'm pretty sure that if I would have had my gun, I would have grabbed it and started shooting. Instead I started shouting again

 

"Hey, cowboy, if you EVER do that again, I WILL shoot you in the eye."

 

Mom McCall must have really heard me then because she shushed me.

 

 "Wyatt, it's ok. He's just excited to meet you." 

 

I stopped shouting and tried to give JP my best glare.  The next suspicious character I met was Colene. She was a pretty little redhead, who if rumors are to be believed in this town, had only settled here with Mom McCall about two years ago.

Instead of shaking my hand, she patted my cheek. I tried to be a gentleman and kiss her hand but she moved so fast that I ended up licking it instead. Out of all the folks in town, she seemed to have the best hearing and could even talk more of my language. She gave me a sly look out of the corner of her eye as she wiped the slobber off her hand.

 

"You'd better watch your back, boy, because I'm gonna be your worst nightmare."

 

Then she grinned innocently at Mom McCall giving her a big hug before walking away. I'd really have to watch that one I thought to myself.  Judging by the grin Mom McCall was giving me, I knew she hadn't heard Colene's threat.

 

What Mom McCall seemed to be good at was always knowing what would hit the spot.

 

"So, Wyatt, are you ready for another bottle of our finest?" 

 

I was so tired from the events of the day that I could only nod sleepily.  She handed me the bottle and I begin to down it as the crowd trickled out of Mom McCall's house. It had been quite a strange and eventful day and I was sure that there would be more surprises before my stint in this town was over.

 

Despite the fact that everyone who was tall seemed deaf, I decided to hang around and keep an eye out for any shady activities that JP and his sister, Colene, might be involved in.  I figured if anyone was perfect for the job it was me, the great Wyatt Burp.

 

Besides where else could I find such a good bottle of drink to warm my insides, someone to draw my baths, and give me warm clothes when I needed them?

 

This town may take some getting used to, but I'm always up for a great adventure. If anyone gets out of line, I’ll show them the fastest gun in this town, ME.

 

It's been a long day and that last bottle warmed my insides so much I can't hardly keep my eyes open. It’s time to get a little shut-eye, pardner, so I guess I’ll be seein' ya in my next saga.  It’s time for this pardner to mosey on to dreamland. I guess this ends my first day in this town they call planet earth.