Never Insecure Until I Met You

Never Insecure Until I Met You

A Story by MissJE1994
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My one off experience of modelling.

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So a few weeks ago I was asked by a friend to do a bit of underwear modelling for her. I don't think I have a particularly great body but equally I'm not ashamed of it, so I thought what the hell.
We did some fully clothed shots first and it went pretty well, the photographer liked me even though I wouldn't say I'm a natural in front of the camera, I prefer to be behind it rather than in front of it! Anyway, after about an hour we moved on to the underwear shots, the photographer was highly recommended and my friend who wanted the photos was there as well, so I felt completely at ease. The photographer complimented the underwear she had chosen for me to wear and we got underway. I didn't for one second feel uncomfortable, but I didn't feel like myself. As I said, I definitely wouldn't describe myself as a natural model, and the poses I was asked to do just didn't make me feel like a real girl, but the photographer was very encouraging and as I said, I wasn't uncomfortable, I just put it down to experience, something to tick off the bucket list that had shown me I definitely didn't have any desire to become a model!
However, after we'd finished I got dressed while the photographer looked through the shots he'd got, before sitting down to talk with me. He started by saying;
"I've got some great shots, and I think you have a lot of potential, you have a lovely little figure but obviously some changes will have to be made if you want to persue this as a career."
I didn't tell him that I didn't have any desire to, I just asked him what changes he thought I should be making.
"Well, you must be aware that your weight is a bit of a problem."
Is it? It never has been to me. I am 5'1.5" and weigh 7.5 stone. Over the past couple of years I have been turned away whenever I have tried to give blood because according to them I don't weigh enough. I didn't say any of this to him though, because to be honest I didn't see the point, he obviously already had his opinion set. He continued to tell me that I needed to lose at least half a stone, reeled off a whole bunch of exercises I should do morning and evening to tone myself up, and gave me a (pretty short) list of the types of food I should eat. He ended this list of dos and don'ts by telling me not to go anorexic on him though, then gave me his card.
On my way home I replayed what he'd said in my head and got annoyed with myself for not saying anything back to him. I can't stress enough that I am not under any illusions that I have the perfect body, I've never been a pretty girl, and I've never been the type of girl to pose all over my social media in my underwear (not that there's anything wrong with the girls who do do that - fair play to them, it's just not for me), but I do have confidence in my body and myself, because I believe that everybody has the right to feel confident in their own body, it's theirs. Maybe I'm just being naive, but why would I need to be a certain size if I wanted to be a model? Real women come in all shapes and sizes, so why shouldn't that be shown commercially? And why did that photographer think he had the right to criticize my body so openly to my face, and then so casually tell me not to go anorexic, did he think that made it okay? I'm not the type to go anorexic, I enjoy food too much, and Christmas is coming up so it's definitely not happening any time soon, but he didn't know that, he has no idea what my feelings and body hang ups are, I could have been a hugely insecure young girl who just needed that one negative comment to push her over the edge.
Later when he sent me the photos, I thanked him very much then told him I had no desire to persue modelling as my interests are in writing and photography, and that to be honest I also had no desire to have my body and appearance dictated to. I stressed that he hadn't touched a nerve or anything, I just felt it wasn't his place to tell me, even if he was trying to be helpul, because I didn't want to be part of something that promoted, in my opinion, quite an unhealthy attitude. He replied that he respected my decision.
I just wanted to put this story out there on the off chance that it might find someone somewhere who has a low opinion of themselves, because I want them to know that they are beautiful, whatever shape or size they are. We live in such an artificial world where social media is treated like real life and young girls are brainwashed into thinking that if they don't look a certain way then there is something wrong with them. There isn't. Embrace everything about your body, be happy, be confident, and if other people think there's something wrong with you, that's their problem, not yours. Real beauty is on the inside.



© 2017 MissJE1994



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Added on December 7, 2017
Last Updated on December 7, 2017
Tags: Modelling, Body Image, Underwear, Weight, Beauty, Confidence, Positivity, Shape, Size, Beautiful Inside, Love Yourself, Fat, Thin, Be Yourself

Author

MissJE1994
MissJE1994

United Kingdom



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I write what's on my mind. more..

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