Don't Tell Me, Show Me

I really don't know how to describe this poem. Honestly, I don't even know where the idea came from or what it exactly represents.

Show me a sign, 
tell me everything will be fine.
I'll look up and wonder why, 
holding back every tear and every cry.

 
Show me you're here to stay, 
tell me you'll guide me along the way. 
There's a path I cannot find, 
it's invisible even if there's an outline. 

Show me there is hope, 
tell me how to get up this heavy slope. 
Here I go, I start to climb, 

but I end up mixed in the intertwine. 

Show me there's nothing to fear, 

tell me where to go from here. 

I'm blind, not able to see. 
I need you here, here with me.

 
Show me everyone has a heart, 
tell me the true meaning of having a heart. 
I need you more than anything, 
I need your love-ever so caring. 

Show me everything I need to know, 
tell me to take things ever so slow. 

I don't know where to go or what to do,

I'm running away, vanishing in the thick bamboo.

I need your mind, your wisdom, 
and your strength to lift me high,

and carry me along this time to come,

ever so swift, into the breeze, there I fly.

When you tell me these things, 

maybe I can be just like you. 
When you show me these things, 
maybe you can be too.

Author's Note

What do you think the poem represents? Please share and feel free to comment your suggestions!

Reviews

[MomzillaNC]

To me, this is the cry of lonely heart on the cusp of a new love, hoping it's true and lasting.

Your meter and rhyme is pretty good. It falls apart a bit with the lines that end "wisdom" and "up" and "length." But the ideas in those three lines are tremendously expressive.

I would recommend you break the poem into stanzas or double-space between couplets. It will make it easier to follow for the reader. I find that many poems are more meaningful when the visual layout is part of the driving force for the reader.

[Jadon96]

Thank You, I'm new on here and I'm uploading all of my poems, and as soon as I was done, I was going to go back and do that actually. When I wrote them, some of them I wrote into stanzas, but others I wrote like this one. But I appreciate the comment. Also, I agree with you about those three lines. I will try to change the wording in order to keep the rhythm, but also try to keep the ideas. Thanks!

[Jadon96]

I have separated the poem into stanzas, and I also have changed a few of the words in it, adding some too. What do you think of the revised version?

[MomzillaNC]

Oh, my! Yes. The stanzas lead the reader to your points and makes the prose easier to follow. And, the altered lines really change the whole inflection of the prose there. The whole piece is quite lyrical now.

[Jadon96]

Just curious, but how old are you? I was reading some of your poems, and it is like wow.. she is a true writer and poet. Of course, all of my work is amateur and every bit of it was done in teenage years, but one glance of yours and it is marvelous, each one is a masterpiece.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you so much. I'm 51 years old. But, I've been writing poetry all my life. I never thought it was any good though, before I found this forum. I'd never shared it much before.

[MomzillaNC]

I think my poetry, BTW, is heavily influenced by all the great poets and writers I love so much. It's so important, I think, for a writer's evolution: writers write, but great writers read more.

[Jadon96]

It is truly amazing! I can tell that you have wrote for years, and you have mastered the talent. Have you ever actually published your work? Because you could honestly make a name for yourself.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I do actually happen to be putting together a book of poems, hopefully for publication. A novelist friend of mine recommended this forum; it's boosted my confidence tremendously.

[Jadon96]

I originally came to this forum because I wanted to just get feedback on my poems. I know they are amateur, but I still wanted to have some thoughts on them. I've only wrote poems for two years and I am 18, so yeah.

[MomzillaNC]

Well, to grow as a poet, you need to read lots of great poetry and literature. For really beautifully written language, my favorites or Georgette Heyer (Historical Romance) and Peter Mayle (Modern Fiction -- mostly). But, Poe, Dickenson, Byron, Keats, Walden, Frost, Angelou, and so many more great poets have left their mark. I can't imagine my life or my work without their influence.

[Jadon96]

Well, see in my life, I never read poetry or any type of literature unless it was required for school. And, I cannot write any other types of literature, unless it is poetry, and it must have rhyme in it. The only way for me to get my feelings and emotions out is if it rhymes, other than that, I'm always stuck on what to write.

[MomzillaNC]

You'll find, I promise, that reading the preeminent poets and literary authors will only improve your own abilities and inspire you. Never say you "cannot" because you're only creating walls with chained gates to hold back your inspiration. You CAN write… you CAN write in any style you choose. It's all an evolution of you and of your expressions of inspiration. Only you can limit what you "can" or "cannot" write. Ultimately, you'll be your most tyrannical censor.

[Jadon96]

See, that is exactly what I mean. You should like take that previous comment and post it into every Literature class handbook. Even that comment was written so precise. haha

[MomzillaNC]

Well, thank you. But, it really comes of just reading great authors. Great literature illuminates and expands our minds in every conceivable way.

[Jadon96]

That is true.