One.A Chapter by SuicidePact.
I have always hated hospitals, which is why It took so much effort to get here, Harry had to literally drag me out to the car in order to take me here. He’s still sitting beside me after all the trauma I’ve been through today; he truly was the best friend a lad could have. Taking my blood was the worst, but Harry still stood there holding my hand, paying attention to everything the doctor was telling us, when I couldn’t concentrate on anything else but what was going into my body.
“Lou, are you feeling any better?” he asked me, he was seated beside me on a chair next to the bed I was rested on. If he had any properly functioning eye balls you would think that he could tell that I looked like hell.
“No.” I grumpily muttered, instantly feeling bad for snapping at him. So I gave him a sneaky grin, just to show him that I was happy he was still here.
“You’ll be okay.” He whispered, looking into my eyes.
“I hope so.” Was all I could say, because really neither of us knew what was going to happen, who would have ever thought that I’d be here in this hospital bed, after being treated for leukaemia? It was absurd. None of my fans knew about this, only my family and the one direction crew knew about this treatment and I wanted it to stay that way. It wasn’t as if I was Harry, I didn’t have as many camera’s on me as he always had. I wasn’t the one that was the focus of crazy tabloid captions such as ‘Oh look Harry bought coffee with a mystery blonde today’ who flipping cared about Harry’s coffee habits anyway?
“What are you frowning at?” Harry interrupted my thoughts. I hadn’t realised that I’d been so wrapped up in my thoughts.
“Oh nothing, just wondering what’s going to happen if I don’t get better” I sounded really sad as I spoke those very words, his face dropped as he too started to think those thoughts.
“Stop that.” I frowned at him, he snapped out of it.
“Sorry.” He started to smile once more.
“You’re going to be fine, so stop with the negativity!” he exclaimed rather too loudly, causing me to laugh a little. He really did know how to make me feel better.
“Harry, will you come here and lay with me?” I asked expecting him to say no, but he didn’t without even a hint of hesitation he climbed onto my hospital bed and rested his head on the pillow beside me.
I could feel it coming up, feeling it rising in my throat, oh how it itched, and my entire body felt disgusting. There was only seconds before I could do anything about it, I reached over to the bedside table and just as I pulled the bucket over towards my mouth, everything exploded from inside me. I couldn’t bring myself to look down at what had happened. Why was this happening to me? Why did I feel so empty and hollow and squeamish?
“Baby, are you okay?” came the tired raspy voice of my strong minded mother.
“Yeah Mum sit down.” I instructed not wanting her to get up, this was routine by now, it happened pretty regularly she needn’t worry. But she always did anyway.
“Annabelle, don’t you ever give up. Don’t listen to the doctors you are a miracle child you hear me?” she asked looking directly into my eyes; I smiled and gave her a nod. She spoke with her heart but I knew more than she did. She could only see the outer layers of my illness; she could only see what was on paper. She couldn’t feel my body slowly deteriorating; she didn’t know what it was like to slowly die. I didn’t have the heart to tell her nor did I want to if I had.
“You should go and get something to eat.” I told her weakly, my voice wasn’t as strong as it used to be, she didn’t want to leave me I knew but she was going to have to sooner or later.
“I’ll just go to the vending machine right outside the room okay?” she asked as if she wanted some reassurance. I closed my eyes as she planted a soft kiss upon my forehead.
I even watched as she left the room.
The magazines she had brought for me were still sitting under my pillow, so I dug them up once more to read a few pages while I waited.
‘Harry Styles and mystery blonde go out for coffee.’ As soon as I read that caption I started to laugh, because really who cares about coffee dates? When there was probably a juicy celebrity marriage scandal going on in the next town? I shouldn’t really enjoy those marriage scandals as much as I do, but when your life is captured by the same four walls for most of your life you’re not likely to have ever had a taste of true love. I for once had never fallen in love, never had a boyfriend, and never been kissed. So I had no empathy to heartbreak, maybe just a touch of sympathy but really I had no idea what they were going through.
“Hey love, you feeling any better?” My mother asked as she came back into my room with a cup of coffee, I couldn’t help but smile at the coffee reference.
“Yeah I am.” I lied.
I didn’t often venture outside of my room, fear of meeting new people fear of being exposed to the world. I didn’t like seeing people who were just like me knowing everything they were going through I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, not even my worst enemy. Not that I’ve encountered anyone to whom would be considered as an enemy. I hate this cancerous plague that was washing away so many lives; it has broken families and shattered dreams. Our faith in a God may have been altered. This disease that takes control of our lives without punishment is one of the most horrid things that had ever existed.
“Honey, are you okay?” I didn’t realise mum was still in the room, it was nearly 11pm I had been laying still with my eyes closed for what seemed like hours forgetting the world. The medication surged through my intoxicated body, numbing the pain of existence dulling down my sense of reality. I had been lost in my own deepened thoughts unaware of my surroundings.
“Mum?” I whispered confusion in my tone. She was seated across from my bed on a padded stool. I could only see her outline as the room was pretty dark, I started to wonder how long I’d been laying there how long had she been watching me?
“Yeah baby, I’m here. Did you want the nurse?” worry thickened in the way she spoke. My heart broke every time I looked at her paled tired face.
“No, but you should go home you need to rest.” I stumbled over my tired rambled speech, her eye lids flickered once I had reached to switch on the lamp. I felt weak but couldn’t bring myself to show it. I had only her on my mind and she needed to rest.
“I can’t leave you.” She started to tear up, so I smiled sweetly as if to prove that I would be fine without her.
“If I need you the nurses can call you, I want you to rest up and come back tomorrow. I will be fine.” I sat up despite the fact that all I wanted to do was lay down. She muttered something under her breath something I couldn’t quite translate.
“I’ll see you tomorrow; I promise I will still be here.” I laughed, I always loved having a good laugh it comforted me somehow even when everything else was going terribly wrong having laugher ringing in my ears was something I would forever cherish.
“Ok, fine but if you’re in pain you call a nurse. Do you hear me?” she turned on the mum voice, I nodded shakily as I watched her dried lips turn at their corners.
“I will.” I told her just as she leant over to kiss me on the forehead.
“Bye.” I called as she took her handbag over her shoulder and headed towards the door.
“I love you Annabelle.” She whispered in a moment of hesitation at the door.
“I love you too.” I pressed a hand to my heart, and she did the same.
“Bye baby.” She hollered quietly and the door shut behind her.
© 2012 SuicidePact.
Shelved in 3 LibrariesAdded on August 8, 2012
Last Updated on August 8, 2012
Not telling!, SecretVille., Australia
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