What Can I do?

What Can I do?

A Poem by SuicidePact.

What were you thinking?

When you ran away....

Was it something you did?

Were you having a bad day?

How can I help you?

Tell me what to say....

I don’t want to lose you

I want you to stay.


© 2012 SuicidePact.



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Reviews

Nice poem I like that it tells about what someone would feel about how much a person wants another even though one person left. To me it shows a longing for some one and also about regret about how a person let someone slip away.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Simple and true. Good poem, I like it.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Amazing. It's never easy when someone you care about leaves. You portrayed this perfectly. Great work

Posted 1 Year Ago


Short, sweet to the point is what I like, very nice work (: I certainly enjoyed it

Posted 1 Year Ago


Nice and short. I quite liked the different spacing, it gave it something more. I also enjoyed the story that was in this, and how the last line ended it quite nicely.

Posted 1 Year Ago


A wonderful short write. I like your short poems that have a clear, direct message!

Posted 1 Year Ago


I loved everything. :D ^^

Posted 1 Year Ago


I love the last four lines, the format is really good. Short, but it says a lot. Great write :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


Hmm, Nice write. Says a lot.

Posted 1 Year Ago


nice again! ok, but change "was it something you did" to was it something I did, did you have a bad day.. it changes the context in the flow, and removes abstractions and obfuscations.. makes it what i call. SUPER FLOW.. as readers we get the point the meaning and the delivery, without question! LOVE IT!!!!

Posted 1 Year Ago



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357 Views
64 Reviews
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Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on April 7, 2012
Last Updated on April 7, 2012

Author

SuicidePact.
SuicidePact.

Not telling!, SecretVille., Australia



About
I am quite a friendly caring person so feel free to message me at any time. Hope you are having a nice day and welcome to my profile! When I was born, they gave me a name, one in which I do not wish.. more..

Writing