- 1 --

Life for me is pretty chill, I’m 17 years old just breezing through the twelfth grade like who knows what, and I can’t wait to get out of this stinking town! Sure it will always hold my heart dearly, but I want to do something with my life, go places and become something big!

I wasn’t paying attention as I walked across the street, but thankfully I was already safely across the street when I dropped my wallet. I was too busy listening to my iPod in fact, yeah I know I am incredibly stupid but what’s done is done. What happened next was too fast for my memory to recall exactly, I can remember bending down to pick it up, I also remember someone pushing me out of the way and we both smashed into a car mirror, as a speeding car rushes by us. That’s when I blacked out.

“Wakey, wakey. Sleepy head!” The voice of a British male awakes me from my short black out, I sit up and try to adjust to my surroundings, it appears that somehow I have ended up in an ambulance, a stranger is by my side.

“You gave me a bit of a fright there, you did.” He says handing me a water bottle! As he does, he accidently brushes his warm hand against mine, chills run up my arm, I seriously cannot believe this is actually happening to me. I take thirsty gulps, desperately trying to look lady-like.

“What happened exactly?” I ask him slightly confused.

“I saw you drop something, and as you were bending over to pick it up, this joker comes out of nowhere, without any intention of slowing down either, saved your life I did.”

“Thank-you, so much!”  He helps me to my feet a paramedic helps me out of the back of the vehicle and the stranger tells them he’s my cousin to avoid further questioning.

I soon spot the damage I presumably caused from the incident, his car has a broken mirror, I remember crashing into it somehow. The memories are still unclear but I know it was my fault so I offer to pay for fixed damages.

“Nah mate, don’t worry about it, for all the insurance companies know it could ‘ave been me being reckless” he smiles that beautiful smile at me and for some unknown reason I  can’t help but smile back at him.

“Look I’ll leave you my number anyway, in case they don’t buy it” he gives me a wicked grin then, but he accepts the number once I hand it to him.

“Well before you leave, I would like to know one thing”

“Sure, what is it?”

“What is your name, fair maiden?” he says this oh so dramatically, in an almost Shakespearian manner.

“Jaeden, and what be yours kind sir?” I say with a slight chuckle.

“Louis”

“Well, I must be going now, but hey thank you for saving me, I owe ya” and I leave him there, i walk only ten metres before checking if he’s still there and he was, he laughs at me for checking on him, and I can feel the burning sensation of a blush creeping across my face, luckily he is too far away to notice!

I didn’t think of him for weeks really, until my phone started ringing during lunch.

“Hey Jaeden, your phones ringing” Lydia is pissed at having to pause the game she was playing but passes my phone back anyway.

“Unknown number, be right back, I should probably answer this”

I quickly find a private spot on the grass before answering.

“Hello? “I ask the unknown caller.

“Ello, Jaed, It’s me, Louis. How’ve you been?” that sexy British accent sends chills down my body.

“Oh hey! Wow it’s been a while, yeah I’ve been good, how about you? Saved any distressed damsels lately?”

“No, I ‘aven’t.” He laughs

“Oh gosh I am sorry, you want the money to fix your mirror right?”

“No, not at all told you I could get that sorted out! I just wanted to talk to you, see if you’re still alive” he says cheekily, I can just imagine his cheeky grin spreading across his face.

“Well I am talking to you right now, if that answers your question”

“I am sorry Jaed, but you could be a ghost for all I know, I need to see you in person” my heart literally skipped a beat; he wants to see me again!

Reviews

[SlightlyOdd]

Hmm

[zero binty]

A dramatic opening is always good. Multiple outcomes can spring from this in any direction.

[Krista Weiss]

This is sooo good! :)

[Maximillion]

love it

[Richy Moon]

Don't be so hard on yourself, you have a good introduction here, grabs your attension and makes you want to read on. Ignoring the strange (for me) slang of " 'ave" and what not, it is a great start, the only thing i'd tell you is too keep writing :)

[Calypso]

Petty cool

[emilythestrange]

I love this!Most of the poems I have read by you have been sorta........I dont know a word for it,but this is really cheerful!Loved it but have to wait till' tomoz to read chapter 2.:(.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxreally good.

[Pencrafter]

It's an interest-arousing story. You set the stage by giving a little description of your main character and some of the surroundings. In the fourth paragraph you mention a thrill of contact, when Jaeden touches the arm of the stranger. You might give us a physical description of him early on. Was that a thrill or a chill? Maybe he was 60 years old with a face pocked by disease and missing teeth. See what I mean? It's a good start to your story, though.