Without you

“Hey baby!” Lou’s cheerful voice rang through my computer, he and Harry were seated together in their tour bus, I could hear Liam and Niall talking in the background, but not Zayn, for he was most likely sleeping.

“Hey guys! How’s the shows been?” I asked them, Harry Waved at me, but didn’t say a word; I thought maybe Louis wouldn’t let him speak to me?

“Really good actually, we’ve scored a few pairs of knickers, flung onto our stage, Liam copped one on the eye, poor lad, he’s hoping it was a fresh pair, and not a previously worn.”

“I bet he’s hoping that!” How awful, must have been terrifying, I for one have never experienced a knickers toss, because I haven’t got girls all over the world wishing to get into my pants, and I do not have the hands on experience with my fans, I don’t perform live in front of them ever.

“Haz wants to say hi” Lou positioned the camera a little further to the left, so I could see more of Harry, he waved at me and told me hello, that sweet kiddish smile I had been missing, made my day a whole lot better.

“Do you miss your Hazza yet?” he cheekily asked, his happiness was obvious, I could see it dancing around in his beautiful green eyes.

“I miss you so much” I blew him a kiss, he pretended to catch it in his palm, it was so cute, but Lou didn’t like it so much.

“Alright that’s enough Styles” Lou hardly ever called Harry by his last name, only when he was being serious, the jealousy was written all over his face when he was the only one I could see again.

“I love you” I told him, clutching my heart, he was always inside my thoughts, he was the reason for every breath I took, and every step that I’d take, I was so deeply in love with this boy it was not funny, it was in fact very serious.

“I love you, and Miss you, and adore you, and I want to see you” he breathed, staring directly at me.

“You can see me right now” I reminded him, he chuckled slightly but you could tell this type of interaction wasn’t enough for him.

“How much longer do you have spared?” I asked him when he hadn’t responded.

“Probably ten minutes, I don’t know really, when do you have to leave?” he asked me, I checked the time and winced, I had to go to my ultrasound soon, Lila was sitting across from me, listening to her IPOD, waiting to take me to my appointment.

“I’ll have to go soon, don’t want to be late for the ultrasound” I smiled at him, he was excited about this appointment but at the same time, disappointed that he was away from me at such an important event in our child’s life.

We said our goodbyes, but neither one of us wanted to end the call, he just sat there staring at each other, Lila was getting annoyed so she came over to the screen, told Louis goodbye and ended our conversation, she can be a cow sometimes, but I love her anyway.

***

“Ew, so that gel is going onto her stomach?” Lila questioned the technician, she had been asking her questions ever since we had walked in the doors, the lady seemed to be taking it well, if I were her I would have told Lila to sod off, but luckily she had more patience.

“Is this your first time here?” she asked Lila, my best friend nods, as she stares around the room in awe, taking in everything she sees.

“She’s the best friend, filling in for my man who is on tour right now” I explained, because Lila was occupied.

“What a lovely friend you have, it’s always good coming with your girlfriends” This lady was not the same lady who had done my previous ultrasounds, but she seemed nice enough.

Lila’s face screwed up as the gel was spread upon my stomach, I laughed ever so loudly at her expression, it was one of the funniest things I’d seen in a while.

“What are you laughing at Jay, you’ve done this before, it’s all new to me remember” she whacked my arm in a playful manner, but her eyes quickly were absorbed by the screen above, when she saw my baby up on that screen, her face soon changed, it was a very rewarding experience for any, but little did she know that it was nothing compared to how you feel when it’s your own foetus on the screen.

“Now ladies, would you like to know the gender of this baby?” the woman asked us, I looked at Lila, who looked at me at the exact same moment, I didn’t know if i wanted to, should I? Or shouldn’t I? It was a difficult decision to make.

“Do you want me to wait outside? Louis probably doesn’t want me knowing before him anyway” Lila said politely before exiting the door, I didn’t want her to leave, I wanted someone to share this next step with me.

“Ok, I’d like to know what the sex is” I told the lady.

“Congratulations it’s a.....”

 

***

 

 

I walked out into the waiting room, Lila was chatting to some of the other mothers about the show, I don’t know why she always does that, always blabbing on to anyone who’ll listen to her, I’m almost certain that the woman she was talking to doesn’t care about how many views we got on our season finale.

“Lila, let’s go now” I smiled at the woman, she looked grateful for the rescue, we went outside into the car park, the air was quite warm for autumn, but it always was warm here in California, at least compared to back home. I scanned the park to see where we’d parked Lila’s car, but silly me, how could I forget? Her car is a flipping hot pink Ferrari convertible for goodness sakes.

“Did we really have to come here in this car Lila; I mean come on this definately draws attention.” I looked at her, as i sat down in the passenger seat. She turned on the car before she responded to me,

“That’s the point, I love this car, people stop and stare at it when I drive by” she said whilst reversing out of our parking space.

 

 

A One Direction song came on the radio, I turned it up we both sang along as loud as we could, those who were on the footpaths beside the roads got a good earful of our sing along but I didn’t really care if they heard us, I was happy singing with my best friend, screw what anybody else thinks!

“I’m going to miss you when the boys are back, we don’t get to see each other for ages because we aren’t filming for ages and we no longer live together, I feel like we’re drifting about Jay, jay.” She pouted, which looked so darn cute.

“I know what you mean, but soon the baby will be here and we can spend some more girly time together, you’re kind of like an aunt to this kid, and since my sister is in Australia, you’ll be the closest thing to one anyway” her smile widened, she didn’t have any siblings of her own, so this was the only way she would be an aunt before she got married, I was so glad that she was happy about this, it made me feel like I had made the right choice in making her an aunty.

***

 

 

I twisted the keys into the door, and opened our apartment; I was shocked when the door was fully open, because two of my favourite boys were sitting there in the living room. I ran over to Louis and gave him the most passionate kiss I have had in a long time, he kissed me back so hard, so passionate and with so much love that I could hardly breathe when we broke away from each other.

“I didn’t sign up for porn” Harry joked.

“Come here you” I widened my arms out, so he got off of the lounge to give me a hug, the baby was kind of in the way but it was nice all the same.

“You grew” Lou pointed at my stomach.

“Did not” I wailed, covering myself with my hands Lila came and sat next to Harry, while I sat down next to Louis.

 

“What are you guys doing back so early?” Lila asked them suspiciously, she had a point though, as we weren’t expecting them back for about another 4 or 5 days.

“You seriously don’t watch the news do you?” Harry asked me, he was having a go at me, so I gave him a nasty glare, that only made him chuckle.

“No” I answered in a huff.

 

“Liam’s lost his voice, some sort of throat infection, he can’t talk or perform for two weeks” Louis filled us in on what had happened on tour. Liam had just began singing ‘One Thing’ from their very first album, when right in the second line, his voice completely broke down, no sound was coming out and the audience went wild, Hollywood bloggers were suggesting that he lip synced, but those rumours quickly died down after their interview on a popular television program confirmed that he had difficulty even speaking.

“He’s on bed rest for the remainder of the week, Niall’s moved in with him until he’s better” Harry continued on from Louis’ story.

 

“That’s terrible, I should call him later” they all looked at me like I was stupid, then it hit me....he can’t talk on the phone without a voice.

“I’ll skype him then, he can just type his responses, I want to see he’s okay.

Louis hugged me closer to him, and it felt so good to have him home, even though it was all because of poor Liam.

***