Wonderwoman

So I'm thinking of her
from the place that I left,
my eyes turn red from the
wind that bites as she
strikes out into the night...

And I shunt back
with a dream on my heart
and a sketch in my hands,
written in words,
that rub off
in time.

And I'm thinking of you.

So I've known you,
seen you, heard you,
in your silence,
when you shout,
i've watched you,
rise up, sit up,
I've watched you grow
as God touched you,
made you, loved you
and rushed you home.

And it's beauty I see,
you smiling at me,
like some fifties ad
with no need
for the perfume cos'
Your aura is a
fragrance...

And I think of her,
all this fire and rain,
all this passion and pain,
and I wonder:

Is this Love
we're talking about?

Reviews

[Kathryn]

I cannot even begin to tell you how much I love this piece. Absolutely brilliant. Need I flatter you more?

Okay, but I do need to add in the part where I become the neurotic grammar Nazi. I do have to say that I know you "break rules" when it comes to poetry, so please tell me if I am insulting the poetic genius of a beautifully crafted, creative piece, but I just need to say something. Haha.
For capitalization, generally the rule of thumb is that you either capitalize at the beginning of each line, don't capitalize anything, or use the rules or prose (after periods). You kind of did a hybrid thing (which, again, may have been on purpose); like in your first stanza the beginning is capitalized and the second stanza follows the rules of prose. Just something to think about making consistent for the Type A personalities like myself out there... :)

Beautiful piece. Love it more each time I read it.

[wolfshrew]

it was great, thats all

[Ebs]

Nicely written. I liked the last lines
And I think of her,
all this fire and rain,
all this passion and pain,
and I wonder:

Is this Love
we're talking about?

That definitely brought the poem home. Thank you for entering the "Someone Special' Contest.

Ebs

[jessfoundwonder]

This is really good. I don't know much about poetry, but the one word lines, i don know, they just bother me. Ha ha. It's probably just me. But good work.

[SayG'NightGrac[i]e]

"Like some fifties adwith no needfor the perfume cos'Your aura is a fragrance..." Yea, that was good. If you wrote this for someone, she'd better be flattered, at the least.