[untitled]

[untitled]

A Poem by Phoenix
"

Ah, love...what can you do?

"

 

I was falling
Falling through the sky
But you caught me
When I couldn’t fly
 
Help
Is what you gave
Unconditionally, until you realized
It wasn’t me you wanted to save
 
Kindness
Was all I ever saw
Until I lost the dizziness
From my never-ending fall
 
Trust
Is what I thought I could feel
Until I was proven wrong
And saw that it wasn't real
 
Lies
Are my greatest fears
That you handed over
With pain that sears
 
Honesty
You seem to hate
Where I love
Combining to seal our fate
 
Love
I thought before I spoke
But you tossed it around
And like glass my heart broke
 
You
My loss and my gain
That pride and regret
Led to happiness and pain
 
Me
I held on to you
And when you kicked me off
 I let go and flew

© 2008 Phoenix


Author's Note

Phoenix
As you can surely guess, this is about a relationship that ended badly - but where I ended up coming out all the better for it. Writing this poem, it's like it's all out of me now, all the bad feelings aren't sitting in me. Oh yeah, and I can't think of a title.

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Featured Review

Falling, huh? Nice metaphor... I think your title should be "Falling". It's simple... right?

This seems like a nice and simple poem. Well, the whole thing with "falling" adds some complexity to it. Regardless, this is a very understandable piece. You seem really good with being able to write stuff that people can relate to. Great job!

Eternally Yours, Blade and Blood

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is....I really connected to it. I've been there. Some of my poems are similar, but I rank yours above mine. That is a GREAT very powerful poem.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Claire should be the title. Sometimes your all encompassing universal themed poems seem....shallower then they could be. Get selfish. Start writing a bit for yourself, and not 2 explain your thoughts. Just to trap them, beat them senseless and feel accomplished over them. That metaphor may be a little to testosterone fueled for you to understand it the way i meant, but lets just say that i want to see something fall from your brain that i cant even begin to apply to an experience of mine. Just try it once and post it, and I will be satisfied. All of that is not to say this is a bad poem, it is actually very exceptional, but I know you could have gotten deeper, more personal, more raw. Try it.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It's so beautiful in a painful way! Great metaphors!

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Falling, huh? Nice metaphor... I think your title should be "Falling". It's simple... right?

This seems like a nice and simple poem. Well, the whole thing with "falling" adds some complexity to it. Regardless, this is a very understandable piece. You seem really good with being able to write stuff that people can relate to. Great job!

Eternally Yours, Blade and Blood

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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4 Reviews
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Added on July 9, 2008
Last Updated on July 9, 2008

Author

Phoenix
Phoenix

Zushi, Japan



About
I have so many ideas and feelings, and they usually buzz around inside me wildly. When I can gather up enough of them, then a piece of writing emerges and I feel refreshed. more..

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