The story of christmas

The story of christmas

A Story by Jake Dyson

Ever wondered how christmas came about? ever thought why do we have tree's in our homes, why do we let a guy come into our home and give us gifts? Read this!

The story of the Christmas tree; Once upon a time in 1702 a revolution happened that's right...the industrial revolution(facts may very). Coal became the main source of European energy (facts may vary) while trees took a step back...but the tree's did not like this, not one bit. After a while a man became famous for giving free s**t away to kids, a lot of people liked him but worried that he mostly gave to kids and he seemed to break in their homes when they slept. But after a few out of court settlements people forgave him and he continued...his name was Santa Klaus. Meanwhile the tree's being forgotten about became increasingly agitated at their plight as humanity's favourite fuel. So one day all the tree clans gathered together in a place I believe was called the Amazon, they formed the Tree Alliance; planning to take back the land they grouped on the edge of Europe. On the 24th of December 1703 the Forest's grew into towns and cities taking the sleeping by surprise. They had nearly defeated the humans but for it not one man...Santa Klaus and his kick a*s flying reindeer!(they didn't fly, Klaus had taken a heavy dose of acid the night before) they slashed and they chopped until they fought the tree's back. By the afternoon of the 25th of December the war was won, although short it was a bloody sap war. The tree clans met with humanity who was lead by Santa Klaus who was now not only a war hero but had also become famous for his warm heart, offering presents and his bed to all. Santa Klaus had set the terms of the peace treaty; he demanded the forests and the tree's return back to where they came from and that every year on the 25th of December the forests from all over the world be slaughtered and offered to the humans as reprisal for their actions and that they be masqueraded in every humans living space, while they give each other gifts. The tree's agree'd on the terms but the elder's decided that the measly conifers and the Pines be sacrificed; the oaks and the maples felt they would not be able to reproduce fast enough. And there you have it, the true and factual story of Christmas. The end.

© 2014 Jake Dyson

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Added on January 9, 2014
Last Updated on January 9, 2014


Jake Dyson
Jake Dyson

London, Fulham/Hammersmith, United Kingdom

Hello, My name is Jake. I made this account 2 years ago but have neglected it for a while, as i had started up my business now i have some free time i thought id try my hand at writing again. .. more..

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