Wobbly Wheel

Wobbly Wheel

A Poem by Jake Dog
"

Silly Poem from our blog. Jakedogstories.blogspot.com

"
My bike has a wobbly wheel.
It happened racing down a hill.

I hit a rock and flew up higher,
Than advised for my front tire.

Now when I ride I waver and weave.
I've had to add time to when I leave.

I used to ride straight, south to north,
But now I have to go back and forth.


© 2012 Jake Dog



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Ees
Another charming poem that you have here! The last two stanzas are fantastic. I can picture some kids giggling over this!

In the first stanza, I do not love the rhyme of wheel/hill. You may want to think about some rephrasing.

"Than advised for my front tire."- This doesn't seem to make sense and I don't feel like it flows with all the other imagery in the poem anyway.

Other than those two little comments, fantastic poem!
Great job,
Have fun,
Erin


Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Ees
Another charming poem that you have here! The last two stanzas are fantastic. I can picture some kids giggling over this!

In the first stanza, I do not love the rhyme of wheel/hill. You may want to think about some rephrasing.

"Than advised for my front tire."- This doesn't seem to make sense and I don't feel like it flows with all the other imagery in the poem anyway.

Other than those two little comments, fantastic poem!
Great job,
Have fun,
Erin


Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Ees
Another charming poem that you have here! The last two stanzas are fantastic. I can picture some kids giggling over this!

In the first stanza, I do not love the rhyme of wheel/hill. You may want to think about some rephrasing.

"Than advised for my front tire."- This doesn't seem to make sense and I don't feel like it flows with all the other imagery in the poem anyway.

Other than those two little comments, fantastic poem!
Great job,
Have fun,
Erin

Posted 5 Years Ago


wonderful fun read. very poetic


Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on September 24, 2012
Last Updated on September 24, 2012
Tags: Poem, bicycle, silly

Author

Jake Dog
Jake Dog

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