A Confusing Encounter

I was sitting at the bar when she came on to me
Her eyes turned me instantly to mush. 
She had long dark hair and legs up to there
and her lips were red and plush.
I knew right away there was danger if I stayed
but I couldn't make myself go.
So I sat on my stool and tried not to drool
looking at her in the candlelight glow.
She asked for a drink I didn't stop to think
just how this might turn out.
So I ordered up two and said 'here's one for you'
all so she wouldn't pout.

She said her name was Mary Jane,
I didn't believe her but didn't care.
I was hoping to be treated, hopefully, not cheated
and asked her what was her fare.
She said she was free and gave me the key
to her hotel room and we went inside.
She took off her clothes and then struck a pose,
it was then that I nearly cried.
Mary Jane was sure not her name
there was definitely more to see.
My lovely girl was really named Merle
and she stood up when she peed.

Author's Note

Not sure what to put here after writing something like this.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I love the rhyme & rhythm of this write. I was totally engaged on every line, and then things sorta veered into a totally unexpected direction. I think your poem is well paced, but I would also like to have that moment of reveal be drawn out a little more. This kinda feels like premature ejaculation! (just kidding!) (((HUGS)))

[James]

premature ejaculation, that's funny. Maybe another stanza would help. I never plan these things, I started out trying to write a love poem, but they're no fun.

[barleygirl]

My love poems always go veering off into some unexpected direction. I'm also guilty of wrapping up a poem before I've done the full treatment of the topic at hand! *smile*

[Jacob Clifford]

Held my attention all the way through to the end. And what a surprising and humorous ending it is!

[James]

Thanks, Clifford, I'm glad it gave you a laugh. The ending was a surprise to me too, it's not what I set out to write.

[Ana Papaya]

Life is like a box of chocolates. Fun poem.
I don't know why I thought of Forest Gump but it seemed appropriate to me but I am twisted sometimes.

[James]

sometimes twisted is fun. Glad you liked it.

[redzone]

ever see the movie "The Crying Game"?? your poem reminded me of this movie... to complicated to go into in a comment but if you are curious look it up.. it was a well acted movie and I think may have won some academy awards at the time (1992 I think)... also look up the story of the 'scorpion and the frog' as it was the back drop for the movie...

I liked your poem btw...

redzone