To Tread, I Must

I often stop and wonder why

We choose to live yet yearn to die

As if we dream of eternal sleep

A sinking end, unfathomable deep

Indeed our lives must sometime end

A determined course, round every bend

The road darkens -- Alas I am blind

My sight, the sounds all undetermined

But unsighted, I am evermore so safe

Than I was, for my mind numbs

To the pains which life inflicts.

Vicious yet prodigious, bitter yet sweet.

Albeit, I choose to wander aimless

Despite the calling, a merciful escape

For now my eyes regain my trust

To seek my end, to tread I must

Author's Note

RE-AMENDED EDITION

Reviews

[Vittoria]

Oh, lovely! This really cut to the heart. Your use of language is admirable; I love how you play with words in order to get across your point. I particuarly love the line "We choose to live yet yearn to die" - such emotive language!

There is a wistful quality to this piece, which I really love, and I like how you've had the last line cocide with the title; very well done, it rounds off the piece nicely. Lovely language use, and the metre gives it a calming quality. Very nicely done - bravo!

Vittoria

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I agree with Allie but it is still a wonderful piece!!!!!

[Walker Andreasen]

The title of this poem piqued my interest and had me curious as to what you had to say as a writer. And indeed I was not dissapointed.
Your poem had an excellent flow to it, as well as the topic. Deep ponderings as such are always great for such literacy. Well done good sir. I enjoyed your writing!

[James McFadyen]

Thank you ever so much for such a sincere critique. its a pleasure to have you enjoy it!

[JohnnyMagrinho]

"At last Bellerophon by his pride and presumption drew upon himself the anger of the gods; it is said he even attempted to fly up into heaven on his winged steed, but Jupiter sent a gadfly which stung Pegasus and made him throw his rider, who became lame and blind in consequence. After this Bellerophon wandered lonely through the Aleian field, avoiding the paths of men, and died miserably."

I only think of Bellophoron when I read this. A man once so young and full of life, ambition; zeal, only to fall victim to his insufferable pursuits of some kind of unttainable enlightenment. It's as though he tried to escape his humanity and limits and ended up paying for it. Wandering blind and lame until his death.

I feel that sense of regret and lambasting within this piece, as if the writer has felt his way around for so long only to not know where he is or where he ever was. It's very lamentable and discusses how faith rises with inner conlfict and turmoil.

I think we have all felt a bit like this, but you manage to write something original enough.

[allie_arrowz]

this is very good, i can't think of any criticism.
oh! your rhyming in the first two stanzas was great, but then it changes. whether you want to rhyme or not, i think with a poem set up this way, it needs consistency to be fluid.