Nigrum Taurus

From my first collection, this work describes my memory of birth, sixty three years ago in the Scottish industrial heartland of Motherwell.

Nigrum Taurus

 

Darkness then pain

Emerging from universal sleep again

Nigrum Taurus angrily appears

To greet the current version of me.

 

Startled confusion flight and fear

My existence pitiful as it was

Powerless against Nigrum Taurus

I defeat him with my mind

To claim the first victory.

 

Disease gnaws at my spine

No air fills my lungs

My head, pain wracked

Lays heavy upon my neck

A time to live, not die.

 

Retching into life with puny form

Time passed in the torturous darkened reign

Fragmented light, broken as my body

Spewing forth by alchemy

A poor pathetic version of life

But life just the same.

 

 

No great fanfare nor Royal Household

A lesser life hard to design

These darkest of days unfold before me

My mind the solo asset to behold.

 

Again I rise, and rise again

Weary at the start of life

No strength as many men find

I gaze upon Nigrum Taurus

Sensing each other’s fear of my mind.

 

Have at me then, I goad in silent thought

As he breaks my outer defenses

Ye shall not impede upon my will

For I hold the key to my survival.

 

Sanity tempts beyond my grasp

I plead for coherence, understanding even,

But still I’m locked behind the glass

A life without reason.

 

Perhaps Nigrum Taurus twists my brain

Engaging it in battle thus

Or perhaps God in his wisdom

Left me incomplete, near insane.

 

From behind the glass a world I behold

Believing it different or better

Unable to change my outward reflection

I am granted a life less bold.

 

‘Stay off the rails’ echoes within my head

The King of ‘out there’ cried

My fragile soft boned legs, tired

Attempting journeys to school and pride.

 

In God’s grace and favour still

Life and time were granted me

To wander through eternity

Bereft of reason I can see, I wander on

It is his will.

 

Nigrum Taurus rages on at my head

My mind stronger for his presence

I continue with this version of me

Unaware what lies ahead.

 

The king’s message though distorted, lasts

Carried by tides of thought

My life a delusion of who I am

Parting company with myself decide

Avoiding the rails has some validity.

 

Not for me the narrow and straight

Learning? Mere experience gathered

Books to write, not read, my fate

My mind yet strong, not withered.

  

Life pursued off the rails, strange imaginings

Head to head with Nigrum Taurus

Raging at the world at large

We continue to heed the King.

Author's Note

I write in English UK, so I've made some adjustments.
It's not written in iambic pentameter although it wanders into this in some verses.