I'm sorry

I'm sorry

A Poem by JanieB

I’m sorry

 

How could you leave me?

I thought we could try again..

For so many years

I battled to keep you, but it was not to be.

 

A lifetime of memories,

Through laughter and tears,

We built a fabulous life together

Thought it would last forever though.

 

I try to recall what went wrong

Can’t put my finger on why it crumbled?

Our fairytale relationship

So envied by many.

 

Please come back my darling,

I beg you to try again!

I promise to try harder,

To be your soul mate again.

 

I cannot think what else to say

Except I love you

Please accept my apology

Let’s try again.

 


© 2011 JanieB



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Featured Review

I think I can definately understand where this poem came from, particulary what you must have been feeling at the time. I don't think it flowed so well, but I think that fact is hidden by the relatability of it overall. Could have used some punctuation here or there which definately would have improved it's flow by a lot actually. I think you did well here.

There's always room for improvement.
Best of luck in future writing,
Melissa

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I think many can relate, and that's what makes it such an amazing poem. Good write.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I love it! I can definitely get the feeling that was behind this poem. My only criticism would be that it kind of sounds the way one thinks, a bit choppy, maybe if you smoothed it out a bit with some more poetic language (taking out the word "fabulous" for instance) it would be a bit more powerful. However, don't take out all of it's bluntness, that kind of style really drives the sentiment of the poem home. Great poem!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Very well written!

Posted 8 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This sounds almost exactly like what happened when my parents divorced. :/ It's sad when a seemingly perfect relationship falls to pieces. But! There's always years to go in one's life, so there's always room to find it again. :3
Great job!

Posted 8 Years Ago


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OT
a nice relatable piece, with great flow, a story told here!! and well!

Posted 8 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sounds like the kind of relationship that was only around because of familiarity and security and not love. Like something that only lasted because it had been around for such a long time. ... I am probably just thinking that.

I like how desperate this person sounds. Trying to grab on to something that won't return and even if it did it probably would never be the same.

Posted 8 Years Ago


That’s sad when a love that been with you calls it quits, hurts I can relate to this write, been there praying for hope just to later come to a crashing end. Excellent write.

Posted 8 Years Ago


4th stanza (be) there in error, but apart from that you told a story, and I enjoyed this poem of anguish. 7points

Posted 8 Years Ago


Very sad, heart wrenching write....well done :)

Peace
Robin

Posted 8 Years Ago


The finding of the remnants of a shattered relationship. Its an ugly polace to live. Everything goes right for a reason and then bhind that, the reasons why s**t falls apart.

nice work

Posted 8 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on November 3, 2010
Last Updated on January 10, 2011

Author

JanieB
JanieB

Paphos, Europe, Cyprus



About
I started writing in October '10. A real new bee to this world of writing. I currently live in Cyprus, where I have been since 2005. I am British, and have spent many years living abroad. Please j.. more..

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