Bliss

just a poem i wrote a while back

In the middle of a peaceful summers day.
The wind colliding against my skin.
The sand cuddling my toes
And the enchanting blue obis hypnotizing me.
The song of the sea whistling in my ears.
The “ka!”ing of  gulls just adds to the euphony.
Up above,
The sun is encompassed by the blue ocean in the sky.
And all this is golden to me
Just as the eye in the sky.
The rippling waves,
Attracting and repelling by me feet.
Boats bobbing in the water.
A crab crashed up shore,
Poor thing.
No people to pollute this paradise.
Paradise is the word for this scene.
 
Pure paradise.
The bliss of being alive!

Author's Note

tell me what you think

Reviews

[Lizanne]

You write of a wondeful place that is pure and magical in the sense that no one can pollute it with their intrusion on your euphoria. A place that only you can enter and feel the warmth of the sun. Place your feet in the water without fear of being stung by a jelly fish. Nothing that can harm you in anyway can enter. Only the things that make you feel alive and happy are allowed. The reader can feel the warmth of the sun, smell the salt in the air and hear the roar of the ocean. I would like to stay and visit a little longer on your private beach. A small stretch of beach know only to you within your minds eye. A beautiful poetic writing about what we can create that will bring us peace and contentment. You did well with this work.

Wow. This is like perfection-what you see in your dreams, and want. I love it.

[Thinker1]

I liked it! That would be a perfect paridise, and I wanted to stay longer. On mistake though. You said "repelling by me feet" instead of "repelling by my feet". But the peom itself was amazing. Keep on writing!

[Denni]

this is really good! i like it!

[Flo]

not my type of poems to read, but, it was WONDERFUL! the way you captured the view and scene and the atmosphere, reminds me of those days in my relative's house near the beach, such a wonderful poem, absolute favorite! :D

-Flo

[Georgia Gypsy]

Love the detail truely puts the person on the beach to experience this day and time.....so peaceful and tranquil, very well done, JR!...love it:)

[Sseoni]

Wow... just wow! Beautiful imagery that you put into this! It was amazing! (And I'm not just saying that either! I really mean it!) The way that you described everything... it was almost as if you were actually there. That's how descriptive the poem was! :D

[Spit_and_Prayers]

I like the great use of imagery here. It entangles all the senses to bring the scene alive. I jumped back to this poem cause I like to see the beginning of a writers work, you've got a good solid start here. I particularly like the "Attracting and repelling my feet" line. Just a note, idk if it was intentional but there's a possible mistyping with "Pour thing".

[love2write268]

i absolutly love it! I can feel everything you describe and picture it in my mind! It's absolutly beautiful.

[Domo]

A very nice picture to be viewed, and this poem is perfectly worded. I loved this poem and the way the words curved around our thoughts. Great write and keep it up! ☺
~Domo~

[Ellen Hammond]

You painted a lovely utopia with your words. The imagery brings your private paradise to life.