luna and sol

luna and sol

A Poem by J
"

...just a weekend out surfing in Raglan, yet again.

"
 

mary jane and merlot out on the deck and i
as usual, giggling, pointing and thinking it's all so
silly. traffic never belonged here, two hours south, maybe
another half hour to drive. warm still. listening to each other's
voices. and the air conditioner which i never mentioned
irritates me as much as loose hairs
straggled all over
my face.

where is now and silence, where is this incense and shadow
you speak of calling you to the water, bursting your ventricles
with so much joy? i listen, i burrow under and try to recall:
ah, there is deliverance here, here where i'll always be warm
and looked after. here, where sparrows are tiny guests
to feed with soggy bits of bread. a starling hovers
with wings too easy to split in two, crushed
between thumbs and the smoky plumes  
of a city far away: music calls, it is
so silent here. i cradle my
guitar, sing a winter song
when i shouldn't

bless this night
with earthen
fingers.

fingers to wrap around each story.
moments to cloud this deck with song. 
 


© 2009 J



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Featured Review

This is elegant, it has a smooth and homey feel, I love the way the story played out in my mind, it was like a childhood memory of the country side where I grew up. This is real and vivid. I love what you have achieved here, absolutely enchanting. *favorites*

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Enticing... very ... fabuloso.. y excitante...todo un poema.. y que voz ... aw.... adorable... I can go forever..and ever.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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ljc
Stepping away so that you are able to observe and think, your poem does this as an invitation to the reader to do the same. Enjoyed the poetry reading audio also.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow. What an ending. And what a beginning. This piece is amazing. Your writing style is fresh, but the style is so unique and very structured.


Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love how you don't use capitalization... gives your poetry a sense of originality. The lines are immensely poignant and heartfelt. I love the structure of the poem--how it dwindles down to nearly nothing by the end of the stanzas. Overall, I don't really have much criticism... you seem to be an excellent poet.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

This is qutie lovely. What I notice immediately is this sense of wanting to break free. There's a partial escape while strumming on the guitar and amidst the peace and quiet, but it's a moment and we feel the trappings that will bring you back to civilization. I've felt that, too.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I was sure that when I came back to it I would know exactly what to say . . .

maybe next time the perfect words will come.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

very cool and refreshing. i love how i feel as though i was actually with you when everything in the poem happened.

you have a way of pulling the reader to your lovely universe!

excellent job!

Posted 8 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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1097 Views
17 Reviews
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on January 19, 2009
Last Updated on June 28, 2009

Author

J
J

Auckland, New Zealand



About
I exist. Most days. Hello there. more..

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