Rush Hour

Rush Hour

A Poem by JayceeC
"

Captcha Contest

"

Rivulets of rainbows and cotton tails mixed

Against cooling high-rise window

In the winter rush hour.

Poor b******s.

The working masses

Middle classes hurrying from city center--

Mushrooms and sardines.

Mushrooms and Sardines.

© 2015 JayceeC


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What a clever concept -comparing the masses that rush around blindly in their daily routines to mushrooms and sardines. I have never thought of it that way but it's true! Awesome job!

Posted 8 Years Ago


JayceeC

8 Years Ago

Welcome, Melissa. This was part of a contest and Devons like the unusual, but the umbrellas just be.. read more
MelissaAndres

8 Years Ago

You are welcome!
simple yet complex i like it

Posted 8 Years Ago


JayceeC

8 Years Ago

Thanks for reviewing it.
Beautiful language. It's elitist, dismissive of the stick figures from below. Going with Devon here, because his review was so spot on - it does read like an alien caption in a sophisticated textbook of history, in verse. To the umbrella wielders, that's exactly how the affluent might seem - extra terrestrial.

Very cool how these sci-fi vibes seem to leak out of this 'capture'.

Posted 8 Years Ago


JayceeC

8 Years Ago

I think it the focus of this picture and the technicolor feel to the picture. It brings out the alie.. read more
"Mushrooms and Sardines" is a very good description of the daily grind for many. Fun piece,

Posted 8 Years Ago


JayceeC

8 Years Ago

It was a fun write. I've enjoyed these picture challenges because they give me something new and in.. read more
interesting to read the many different views of the image,, one thing I noticed
is many felt the sense of rushing from this picture.. ha i like the poor b******s part
sounds like my little man character.. they just cant catch a break, the hoi polloi, packed
like sardines in the overcrowded situations of life..nice work....

Posted 8 Years Ago


JayceeC

8 Years Ago

Yes this is the perpetual rat race, the hamster in a wheel, and someone looking on from on high, sar.. read more
This has a strong feeling of damning perpetuity, illuminating through the dull mundane drabness the colour of nature and mechanism on a conveyor belt of existence.
The concluding repeated lines speak of repetition itself in a demonic sense, detached - as this scene of existence would be perceived objectively, as if by some separate species in a study of day to day human life. Observed dispassionately of course this is very much how it seems - and as an observer there is a disturbing sense of being of a different species to those who busy themselves like gestalt ants, unthinking, through an unthinking world.
A compact, concise and very telling depiction and evocation of the life of man we know all too well - and leaves us cold and shivering at the thought. But we are also left darkly impressed by the reality.

Posted 8 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

JayceeC

8 Years Ago

I'm always interested in your interpretation of my work. They are always right in target with my aut.. read more
Devons

8 Years Ago

Yeah, and Mr Penthouse certainly is a different species...
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dan
Jan, This piece is wrapped around a packed subway ride, but it branches out to represent many other ways of commuting, by car in gridlock, packed busses, you name it. And 'Mushrooms and Sardines?" What a perfect turn of a phrase to describe the madness. So VERY well done! take care...dan

Posted 8 Years Ago


JayceeC

8 Years Ago

Houston gridlock was in my mind as well as this picture. It makes this country girl feel a bit clau.. read more
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1VJ
Living in NYC this really hits home, 'mushrooms and sardines', I'll have to remember that next time I'm on the subway.

Posted 8 Years Ago


JayceeC

8 Years Ago

Out might be an appetizing meal for some, butt a stay diet would make me crazy.
as an artist i never fit into the rut you describe yet i see it constantly...well penned

Posted 8 Years Ago


JayceeC

8 Years Ago

I'll take my small town noziness over being part of the cog any day.
There's a world apart sense to this: empathy for the 'Mushrooms and Sardines - such a cleverness of phrase, and eight lines of acute observation coupled with the relief at being no part of it.

Posted 8 Years Ago


emmajoy

8 Years Ago

The thought of standing there, ready to push and shove, appals the country girl I am! Will climb an.. read more
JayceeC

8 Years Ago

I'll cling oak trees with you all day long! We can tough the stars from the tree tops. But unless I.. read more
emmajoy

8 Years Ago

Laughing.. you're on! Or, rather - you're not. We agree!

Really must zzzzz now. Swe.. read more

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12 Reviews
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Added on September 8, 2015
Last Updated on September 13, 2015

Author

JayceeC
JayceeC

TX



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A Poem by JayceeC



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