tears for my fears

I hope you like it

Happy tears

To wash away my fears

As the end nears

A sort little poem I just thought of just then

As I wrote it it came

And I thought it was for you

So I did do

And it may not be fished

But I wanted to

So I did do

and it was just for you

Reviews

[Sir Joe]

Sometimes, a person writes solely for personal consumption. This kind of writing doesn't require much creativity or craftiness for the output is intended only for his eyes. He doesn't have to follow certain conventions that will make the writing pleasing to many readers.

On the contrary, a writer sometimes intends to share with others what he writes, with the added intention of pleasing or impressing them with it. This kind of writing should involve creativity and craftiness in presenting the message wanted to be conveyed.

On this site, when a writer publishes a poem or a story, we presume that the writer wants it to be appreciated because of the artistry he poured into it. Nonetheless, not all eyes may find it pleasing. It is, however, disappointing or, shall I say, deceiving that many readers comment "excellent poetry", "wonderful poem", and the like even if they don't really find the work satisfactory. So, some writers now are lured into believing that some of their self-made literary pieces are indeed nicely-written.

In view of this, I dropped by your profile to give a very honest, yet constructive, criticism about this poem of yours.

I won't be saying that this poem is ugly or poorly-written. I think it is a poem that needs improvement. It think it lacks appeal. When you write, why don't you try bearing in mind some of the literary standards that may give appeal to your words. I believe that when a literary work has the following literary standards, it will be greatly appreciated by a lot of readers.

1. Timelessness/timeliness - Is the piece relevant today, regardless of the time it was written?

2. Universality - Does the work have meaning throughout the world? Is it true to most?

3. Truthfulness - Does it speak of truth?

4. Effective Language - Is the language forceful?

5. Morality - Does it have any sense of value?

Some writers guide themselves with these merits when they write. So, most of the time, they end up drooling with pleasure at their own work. Now I want you to read your own works and try to answer the questions above.

At this point, I'm thinking I didn't really scrutinize your poem. I think I'm just trying to leave the scrutiny to you yourself. I hope that my aforementioned statements indirectly tell you what I think about your poem.



- Sir Joe

[Jayden Goodrem]

By that I am thinking that you really didn't like my poem, However I thank you you advice and I shall put this in my mind for later poems/stories.
I am rather pleased with this poem as it is but I really like your reviews and I shall try something that you will like later in life. Thank you once again for being so honest with me.

[Sir Joe]

You are most welcome. I won't say I don't like the poem. I say it needs improvement. I know there's a lot in you that needs to be unleashed. So allow yourself to be trained by writing more and accepting constructive criticisms from others.

[Jayden Goodrem]

Thank you.

[Perdition]

Very Tender....sometimes the better words that spill beyond the margin and into our hearts are best left short and sweet. Thanks for sharing it~

[Jayden Goodrem]

thank you for thoughts that you have give to me and they are kind it means a lot to me thank you:)

[Great Aunt Astri]

Yes, I like it too. Especially the lines 'so I did do'!

[Jayden Goodrem]

Thank you so very much I was going around my mind "aw its stupid" it means a lot thank you

[Jayden Goodrem]

I like it I hope that other people will.