Human -Seeking- Paramount

Human -Seeking- Paramount

A Poem by Jazmen
"

ADVOCATING BRIGHTNESS

"

Furthering my creation-
Whilst residing and glowing in
The continuum of war..

BREATHING now the necessities of bone and muscle chains
And through the toxicities in dissonant consciousness in flames

This is a spiral of consonance and kinship.
In shambles and disorder

And even the common disarray stirs no true emulation
Toward a great perceptibility and ardor..

So

Like patience for a drug……….

Like propriety in a chamber all alone………………………..

A doctrine in acquiescence or with an
Ethereal tongue
Is the paramount in the existing world unbeknown..

-

Suit sorrow with a droning
Soundboard to the sky
And leave the boards unlocked and
Sing cause you’re alive.

-

Humanitys blasphemy is like an impalement to the skull.
Seeking yet starving; and denying what we all hold.

Like being bitten and picking at the bone.
Like a moon in hiding or an ear deaf to key and tone.

We illuminate our breath and movement
With out tale to tell or words to tell the wise.
We threaten and kill and distract and despise.


Riding along with our equality in torture-
It’s a pandemonium of Earthly nature.



But believe we are nothing but alembics and default.
Down here, in the moor; in the downright chaos of it all.


© 2012 Jazmen



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Featured Review

Intriguing clash of Eros & Thanatos. The Fire always has its way & its poles are incandescent Spirit Love & thermonuclear smithereens. Since most humans are half-assed in discerning whither thou goest, yawning Fate hangs in the balance. This poem stimulates the paradox eloquently.

Posted 5 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander

5 Years Ago

yeah, as I stated, the best I can do is hope to live vicariously thru it, so I figured
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
This comment has been deleted by the poster.



Reviews

We overcome our better nature, we succumb to the lowest, we fail to see the humanity in each other... Suit sorrow witha droning... Striking . Thought provoking deep write.

Posted 4 Years Ago


If you've seen 'In Bruges' you'll know what I'm talking about when I say all I can see are the end of the world paintings they stop to look at. With the skin being peeled back from the bodies of tiny people as giant heads and beasts roam the Earth, picking off those far from being saved.

The onslaught of insanity within our social confinement is a torrent, and like you said, it results in a moor of chaos. A quagmire or cesspit of our own making. And we can't even tread water.

You paint a very brutal and cannibalistic picture, a world in which there is little salvation and we are the masters of our own downfall. Like we are the ones jumping at the chance to harbour souls and trade a life for a sense of personal enlightenment created by our sense of ego and pride.

I do like your style. Your rhythm and pace is self-determining and is defined more by context than the other way round. That way of writing is refreshing and certainly appeals to me. We are forced to read and digest your writing in very much the same way we are forced to smell rotten fish or become hungry at the smell of bacon being grilled or fried.

It's like yawning, but with words.

There is an inherent chaos that lies within us; the ones so removed from the nature to which they were born just a short life before. Remember that saying about how the man was lost in the jungle and was helped by all the animals to garner qualities such as strength, wisdom and courage before gaining everything he needed to survive alone. And then he left and used these things against they who taught him. And yet even though he felt strong and aleviated he would always be lacking that extra something deep within him. Never to be filled. He would always have a hole.

I feel this is one of the points you are making. That we are hollow, vicious and delusional. Like the chaos has become normal for us. It's our stability, our serene state of being. Like it's OK and shouldn't be challenged.

There is chaos in becoming excited about buying a television for half-price or being able to checkout your own food and cut the queues. In becoming embroiled in the latest film or tv series craze. Then there is war. And looting. And riots. And fights. And disputes. And hatred. And religion. And everything else. Everything else we can inflict our sense of being and ego into. As if we should ever be ashamed to not value ourselves more so than the next guy.

A strip of film from 300 runs in my head when you mention the alchemists as well as talking of fighting and conflict. That crazy, crazy explosion of ideals and conflicts crashing together as if it were the only important thing to ever wash up on that beach and between the cliffs.

I believe your message is that we spend so much time deciding the fate of others and warring between ourselves within a highly fake and artificial social existence that we lose the very essence, the very notion of self, and create such ego and self-worth that we are merely faceless masks of the souls digging their nails into our wretched backs, crumbling beneath such uselessness.

Posted 5 Years Ago


This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Jazmen

5 Years Ago

After reading this review I re-read the poem and felt a lot of things were missing from it.. I like .. read more
JohnnyMagrinho

5 Years Ago

Our Buddha-nature is key to being free of those very 'human' afflictions. But like you say, realisin.. read more
because of how this poem is woven/structured, I feel compelled to do it this way
MY APOLOGIES FOR THE CAPS, I'M USING THEM FOR VISUAL PURPOSES
Furthering my creation- Whilst residing and glowing in The continuum of war..
AS I STATED EARLIER, I HOPE THE COMMENT ABOUT THIS LINE WAS STATED FACETIOUSLY AND IRONICALLY, BECAUSE IT WORKS WELL AT BEING CONCISE AND FORESHADOWING EVERYTHING SINGLE CONCEPT THAT FOLLOWS...YOU ARE WEIGHING AND DISCUSSING VERY REAL AND TANGIBLE AND ABSTRACT CONCEPTS AND YOU KEPT THE INTRODUCTION SIMPLE,BUT NOT SO SIMPLE IT INSULTS THE READER'S INTELLIGENCE..IF THE FLOW IS IN FACT, AS STATED IN THE REVIEW, AWKWARD IN ANY WAY, THAT MAKES IT NOTHING MORE THAN A CONTRAST, GIVING IT MORE POWER AND EFFECTIVENESS, NOT LESS
BREATHING now the necessities of bone and muscle chains
And through the toxicities in dissonant consciousness in flames
THIS FLOWS BEAUTIFULLY AND PHONETICALLY AND VISUALLY..A PARADOX I WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD TAKE THE TIME TO CONSIDER, BUT ALAS, MOVING ON
This is a spiral of consonance and kinship.
In shambles and disorder
I HAVE NO WORDS FOR HOW WELL THIS IS WORDED
And even the common disarray stirs no true emulation
Toward a great perceptibility and ardor..
So
Like patience for a drug……….
Like propriety in a chamber all alone………………………..
I LIKE HOW YOU SPACED THIS AND USED IT AS A TRANSITION..YOU CREATE THIS ATMOSPHERE OF COMFORTABLE SILENCE WHILE YOU DETACHEDLY PROCEED WITH YOUR MUSINGS..YOU'VE GIVEN WHAT YOU ARE WITNESSING IN YOUR MIND JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF OBSERVATION AND JUDGMENT AND SUCH CONTROL IN IT EXPRESSING..WELL DONE
A doctrine in acquiescence or with an
Ethereal tongue
Is the paramount in the existing world unbeknown..
I LIKE HOW YOU USE EMPTY SPACES TO POTENTIALLY PROVOKE EMOTION WHILE SETTING A POSSIBLY DIFFERENT TONE, DEPENDING ON THE READER'S LEVEL OF AWARENESS
-
BUT THEN SUCH THINGS MERELY SEEM CIRCUMSTANTIAL, WHICH IS WHY A POEM SUCH AS THIS IS SO IMPORTANT
Suit sorrow with a droning
Soundboard to the sky
And leave the boards unlocked and
Sing cause you’re alive.
I LIKE HOW THIS IS A TRANSFORMATION OF THOUGHTS IN THE PREVIOUS STANZAS/LINES
-
AND..AN ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS OF HOW CONTRADICTIONS NEED A NEW NAME WHEN YOU'VE ALLOWED YOURSELF TO SEE THEM COEXISTING AND REVEL IN THE EXPERIENCE, THEREIN LIES THE FORESHADOWING AS WELL
Humanitys blasphemy is like an impalement to the skull.
Seeking yet starving; and denying what we all hold.
AS I SAID...
Like being bitten and picking at the bone.
Like a moon in hiding or an ear deaf to key and tone.
THE REPETITION OF MUSICAL REFERENCES AGAINST THE BACKDROP OF ASTROLOGICAL ALLEGORY OF SELF-AWARENESS/REFLECTION IS INSPIRING HERE
We illuminate our breath and movement
With out tale to tell or words to tell the wise.
We threaten and kill and distract and despise.
THIS IS A LITTLE TOO PREACHY, JUST KIDDING, FELT LIKE BEING AN A*S..I WAS STARTING TO FEEL TOO SERIOUS, LOL...YOU'RE STRIPPING OFF LAYERS...WE NEED TO SEE CONTRADICTION AS CONTRAST AT TIMES, I THINK
Riding along with our equality in torture-
It’s a pandemonium of Earthly nature.

But believe we are nothing but alembics and default.
Down here, in the moor; in the downright chaos of it all.
I SEE ALEMBICS VS. DEFAULT AS PERHAPS SEPARATING THE ALCHEMISTS FROM THE HERD, BUT IT'S ALSO DIFFERENT CHANNELS FLOWING THROUGH OUR CONSCIOUSNESS..AND I LOVE HOW THE MOOR REPRESENTS A WASTELANDS, BUT IT CAN ALSO BE A GAME RESERVE, WHICH IS BOTH AN HOMAGE TO A PREVIOUS LINE AND LANGUAGE ITSELF

I TRULY ENJOYED THIS JOURNEY THROUGH CONTRAST AND CHAOS..IDK HOW VALID MY OPINIONS AND INTERPRETATIONS WERE, BUT THEY SEEMED MORE APPROPRIATE THAN SAYING "GET OUT OF MY HEAD"

CAUSE I PROBLY ONLY HAVE THE MENTAL SKILL TO LIVE VICARIOUSLY THROUGH A POEM LIKE THIS AND GIVE IT REVIEW THAT ATTEMPTS TO BE SOMETHING MORE THAN HALF-ASSED

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jazmen

5 Years Ago

Jeeze, man, thank you so much for such an intricate review.. I appreciate it so much, your thoughts .. read more
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander

5 Years Ago

you're welcome. didn't take me that long I don't think. but I have no life, so it doesn't matter, ha.. read more
The first line is phonetically awkward according to modern linguistic conventions of poetry and conceptually. IMHO your other lines are better.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander

5 Years Ago

in all seriousness though, I truly hope you were alluding to this line juxtaposed to the next two st.. read more
Laura Maidah

5 Years Ago

Did you revise this? I love the ellipses. I HATE ellipses normally. You used so f*****g many and I a.. read more
Jazmen

5 Years Ago

I can't remember if I revised those or not.. probably a little bit here and there.. by this I mean, .. read more
Intriguing clash of Eros & Thanatos. The Fire always has its way & its poles are incandescent Spirit Love & thermonuclear smithereens. Since most humans are half-assed in discerning whither thou goest, yawning Fate hangs in the balance. This poem stimulates the paradox eloquently.

Posted 5 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander

5 Years Ago

yeah, as I stated, the best I can do is hope to live vicariously thru it, so I figured
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Could not help think this would make something great for the stage,
"A doctrine in acquiescence or with an
Ethereal tongue
Is the paramount in the existing world unbeknown.."

that would knock of few seats back.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Its different might have to read it a second time,but i like it its unique in its own way. I think what caught my attention is the whole subject about nature ,but your approach caught me off guard good writing.

Posted 5 Years Ago


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...
. wow ... i had to google many words ... as english is my second language ... but i agree with your philosophy ... and i love how you've structured this poem ... i especially liked the "blasphemy" stanza a lot ... indeed, mankind has a lot of growing up to do ...

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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694 Views
9 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on June 7, 2012
Last Updated on June 17, 2012
Tags: Cosmos, philosophy, human nature, existance, peace, love, harmony, torture, equality, breathing, poetry, beauty, deep, thought

Author

Jazmen
Jazmen

Pacific Northwest, WA



About
Studying Science and Philosophy Claim no religion and I have no categorizable political views. I am interested mostly in the new science sociocyberneering (The Venus Project + Jacque Fresco) .. more..

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