Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings

Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings

A Poem by Robert Luna
"

Trying something a little different. I hope you enjoy

"
Quarter til three a.m.
The phone rings
My hello answered with tears
and a voice saying
Its me dad, Stephen
Ive messed up really bad
took all the money you had
about to board a bus to L.A.
Ive just got to get away
I cant face my mistakes
Didnt want to call
But it just felt wrong
not to at least say goodbye
and tell you what was going on

Marcys pregnant, she due in June
I tried to get her to leave too
wanted to take care of her
especially with the baby on the way
I thought we would always be together
Said she couldnt
wouldnt
didnt want to be with me
after I got kicked out of school
They found drugs in my locker
I wanted to tell you
but I was too ashamed
Couldnt bring myself to see the hurt in your eyes
and to know I was to blame

Choking back my own tears
Trying to find the words to say
A lump resting in my throat
I speak
Stephen please dont go
We can face this together
No matter what youve done
You are still my son
and I love you
Come home so we can talk
We can work this all out
If you leave youll never know
Just come home son
If you run now
youll be running the rest of your life

But dad I feel so lost
I just dont know if youll see me the same
Look at all Ive done
How could I ever face you again

Son I love you
Just come home
You will always be my son
No matter what youve done
Please just come home

Alright dad Ill come home
Good, see you soon

Phone hangs up
Silence on the other end
Wrong number
it would seem
but
To the right man
I think to myself
I guess I wouldve made a good dad

alone

© 2008 Robert Luna



Author's Note

Robert Luna
Trying something a little different. I hope you enjoy

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Featured Review

Wow, this poem is great! This could make an awesome story, too. I liked the way you put the dialogue in the poem and actually made the piece more interesting. The tittle really attrcted me, just so you know. I realized the poem was way better than it, though. The content flows really well. I can see it all happening right in front of me. Pretty sad story. You tricked me, I actually thought he was the real father, a good writer does that. I really liked this poem a lot. Just letting you know, I'm adding it to my library.

Posted 9 Years Ago


5 of 5 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

i love the last verse especially - a very good poem, heartfelt and has a good flow to it too. really great. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


Oh, wow. Very much amazing!

It was intense in it's own way, and I loved it! Once I read the first line;
"Quarter til three a.m.
The phone rings
My hello answered with tears", I was completely hooked. I couldn't get enough of it!

Then you completely blind-sided me! I love the twist.
Keep up the good work. :D

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I can't get the question out of my head - What will happen when the boy arrives home at his real parents who have no idea what's going on?!? I can only imagine ... would for sure be tough for all parties I think.

No doubt things like that happen every day somewhere and it would be great if parents always could react that way, instead of sometimes ruin the kids lives when they are just about to start ...

A dear friend of mine back in school and even after we finished school was in a circle of friends who were good guys I think, but they tested quite everything or lets say a lot of things from drugs of all sorts to alcohol of every kind and we talked about it some time ago now and he said "Do you know that I am the only one who survived it all" - the others passed away long ago when they were still very - very young unfortunately - "and you know why?!" he said " - because I was the only one who had real parents on whom I could always fall back, and who were always there for me whatever trouble I made. Sometimes they gave me hell to pay believe me, but I knew they loved me and would never let me down - that's what saved me. The others had their pockets nicely filled with money, and instead I had good parents."

This is again very powerful and nicely thought provoking. I like it big time and hope a lot of parents read it.






Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is wonderful !! I loved it. I brings tears to my eyes. Such lovely thoughts and very well written too.

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

this is not your usual style i can see but you pulled it off nicely as you pull the reader into the conversation and leave them hanging for the next line. predictable outcome and yet unpredictable in its subtlety

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Very well done... I think we are harder on ourselves sometimes then the people that love us... I know I have been there... and a parents unconditional love is something that should be a given but not always is... You defiantey succeded in something different... Very heartfelt and powerful poem!!

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

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zig
i liked the twist at the end, caught me completely by surprise. liked the presentation, flow, etc. enjoyed very much. zig

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Great use of your imagination. The story within this piece was something a little close to a reality I have known. To the point as if you read a story of my teenage years and then wrote this. I enjoyed this in a fearful way.

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Nice, I really liked it. This is coming from a senior in high school but I thought the story line was great, it flows great and it had a great twist. Overall I wish I had come up with it.

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

"Wrong number
it would seem
but
To the right man"

I like how this poem turns. This reminds me of my own brother who has yet to screw up super bad, but if he keeps on the way he is, will. Next time he calls here at some strange hour of the night I'll rememeber this poem and wonder if he's saying similar words to my dad.

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on March 12, 2008

Author

Robert Luna
Robert Luna

Somewhere between here and there



About
My name is Robert. I write therefore I feel I am. My words come from my heart, soul, and mind. I write what I feel and see, life is my inspiration. Life itself is art in its purest form. There is noth.. more..

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