Twelve Steps

This is inspired by a piece i read from Raven about an addict. I hope you enjoy

I�m a broken promise
you could never keep
All your shattered dreams
You can�t see slip through your hands
Self narcissistic it would seem

I'm broken,
All my pieces scattered
for you to see
But I'm all you need
Fist of concrete
and blacktop for my feet
City streets all fast to sleep
Still hearing my heart beat

Near forgotten whispers
still haunt your thoughts
Handed out my love and hugs
in the form of 45 slugs
Sleepin on dirty cardboard
Laying lilies at my feet
calling me your personal Jesus
lost messiah
back alley Prophet
Out for my own profit
Twelve steps behind you
Never able to escape your past

You were so beautiful
so beautiful� once
Look what I have done to you
Could�ve had the world on a string
Until I got my fingers into your veins
But nothing left of who you were
Living the life of twenty dollar w***e
Looking for your next high
Screaming out as you cry

I am broken
I am the lie that took your life
I have no pity, nor sympathy
So close your eyes
I was all you ever need

Another Round A Poem by Raven

Reviews

[Petey]

Having dealt with this battle myself and the on going struggle I face every day. I have a deeper appreciation for this. I have heard the quiet moans of that internal beast that hungers to destroy everything I have worked so hard to gain. Trust, love, forgiveness, and my life. I was using heroin, cocaine, and using booze to chase it all down with. I still have a hard time looking at my own face in the mirror knowing what I have done and wonder about the things I did that I can't remember. You truly captured that feeling I feel and know.

[Conversations Kill]

This is such a sad piece. You depict the struggle of a someone with addiction problems very well. I like that you take it from the drug's point of view in a satirical form.

Unfortunately in this life, we are selfish and only look out for ourselves and those we hold dearly. Those left on the streets sometimes have the same problems and some of us, just no one there consistently giving them support and believing them.

[[untitled]]

You did this well. The human tragedy ... what a specter your repetitions were very effective. I think that this subject can be very tricky to do without becoming cliche and you did it well.

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Sad piece, unfortunately a very true piece that many have encountered. I have many family members and know many people who are in or have been in this situation. Sadly, most are dead because of the desicions they have made. And one person I know has to adopt her sisters child because of her descion and constantly running off without a care in the world for her own daughter...thankfully she now as a better life without her biological mother around.

Great work, Robert.

[Paul Wallace]

Great Job!

[Emily B]

You speak for so many. Telling the stories they never could. That is an amazing gift.

[Yvonne Heidt]

and the crowd roars.....

Damn. This is excellent. I also know because I've been there. The pov is great and it's going into my favorites.
I was going to highlight - but I would repeating the whole darn thing.

Honest, and heart wrenching.

I will have three years clean tomorrow :)

[Michael X]

Robert, youve captured an emotional deptiction in reflection- the idea of twelve steps being
the longest-hardest steps taken to recovery, I felt the need to read this with respect as
the intent draws upon an issue that you've manages to bring into an awareness from the
perspective of being the broken divider, showing how the downtrodden survive moment by moment
and the onnly faith is to believe in the cold hard concrete... your words really hit home
and strike a cord in the readers heart-with empathy- brilliantly done..I can still feel the pain

You were so beautiful
so beautiful� once
Look what I have done to you

[emmajoy]

Where to start? This moved me almost to tears... mainly because it showed YOU. It made me shudder with sadness because it showed your FEELINGS. Life and how we make it can be heaven or hell on earth. I guess by escaping our self inflicted world of battles with anything, showing guts, determination, regret, helps to dilute the past. We might never forget but, we feel better about self. Isn't that what matters? Maybe regretting is part and parcel of acceptance.

Sorry, putting my thoughts not commenting about your poem. It's thought provoking, it's formed in a way that almost makes it prose but, it plays music. You have the very special knack, skill, gift, art, of turning words into pictures - the power of the 'pen'.

[Rain]

Felt like something out of my diary. "Very" realistic piece. Great visuals and emotions. Rain..

[shadadakiya]

that is so sad but so true that go own right under our nose all around sick world we all have been through
so kind of a battle i believe !!! very good write.